Saturday, August 22, 2009

Pinkie-promise

I now understand what people mean when they say it's heartbreaking to watch their babies cries, especially when you don't know what's bothering them and can't figure out how to make it better. Yesterday afternoon was so distressing for Jude and I when Sophie spent the most part of it fussing and crying so hard her little tear ducts were activated (I didn't think newborns could tear!...) The moment I saw her eyes well up, I started crying too and felt so bad that I couldn't make whatever it was that was bothering her go away. I literally felt a small piece of me die inside with each quivering wail...

She eventually calmed down and slept the rest of the afternoon away and while last night was still a little rough, with long feeds and short sleeps, I think she's gotten over it today and is taking her afternoon nap more or less like she used to. It got me thinking about the millions of times from now till she grows older when she'll cry over sometime that will hurt her-- a fall, a bully, a bad grade, a boyfriend-- and the thousands of times amongst those when we might not be there to protect her. My heart aches at the thought...

So here's a promise to you, Sophie- Mommy and Daddy may not be able to protect you from every fall you're going to take, every bully you might meet in school, or every bruise you might get, but we pinkie-promise to do our best to shield you from any kind of unhappiness we do have control over. And hopefully as parents, that's the best we can hope to do...

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