So I encountered what might be considered my first intellectual crossroads yesterday. It was the trial run of my conference presentation and I thought I was fairly prepared for it. The thing isn't till next Saturday, I had my slides in order, and I knew the points I was going to make about my data, so I was pretty confident going on. But oh what a disaster it was... there were people in the audience who seemed genuinely flabbergasted at what I was saying, outraged even at my "perposterous" propostion that we are somehow short-changing certain groups of children!... The professor who was listening cautioned me strongly from making certain conclusions about my findings; she said I can't say that schools of education aren't doing a good job; other people are beating up schools of education already and we don't have to do it to ourselves; I can't use the word achievement "gap" because that somehow conveys a sense of deficiency and deprivation; use the more neutral "difference"; I'm perpetuating racial and cultural stereotypes, and my presentation is too controversial and potentially explosive; I should "re-frame" my discussion and not talk too much about the gap but more about how policy can redefine certain parameters of teacher quality, etc...
It was distressing to say the least and I for the first time, I felt the pressure to "spin" my data to make things more palatable. I appreciate my professor's remarks and I know that to some degree, she's being protective of me as a grad student, and doesn't want me to be torn to pieces at the conference, but still, I have a message to convey, and as uncomfortable as it may be, it's a message I believe people need to hear. As a research-one university, and in such close proximity to high-need areas, if we don't make a statement about what can be done- and what must be done- to help schools and children who need help, then who's going to? If all we worry about is producing feel-good, self-validating research which consoles ourselves that we are just fine the way we are, how will we ever progress and improve the things which really need improving, i.e. the life chances of ALL children?
I left the practice session disheartened and a little disappointed actually. I'm proud of what my research says, and I'm proud of what I was planning to say, but yesterday, I was made to feel somehow less for it... I spoke to a couple of people after that, spoke to Jude, spoke to some close friends, and you know what? I might change a few slides and rephrase some of the word use, but at the end of the day, I'm going to make the same conclusions. At every level- local, state, federal- we need to rethink how we're training teachers and defining teacher qualifications. Things are not going ok, and there are children who are deprived. I cannot in good conscience, in the face of empirical evidence, choose to ignore some things and highlight others just because it will go down better . I'm hoping that there will be people in the audience who will appreciate what I'll be saying, and even if I make some of them angry, that's something I'm going to have to be prepared to deal with. It's a 20-minute presentation and then a Q&A after. It'll be over before I know it. Besides, this is not about me, it's about the academic well-being of all children.
The data doesn't lie, and I'm not going to either.
7 comments:
Way to go, Serene! I'm sure you're gonna do the right thing, and do it wonderfully!
looks like you are very determined to go on your way, Serene. I hope your data analysis is bullet proof, leaving no room for internal and external validity issues. I strongly support your belief in telling the truth - no more no less - though it may arouse uneasiness or tension among the audience. Good luck and let us know how it went.
First I have to say: LOVE the AVATARS!!! :-D
As for your presentation, when I first read your data/graph I thought, "NPR, here she comes!" No matter what, you will have already done some good to those that need it, just by having done the research and produced the results.
However, I do tend to agree with your professor who is probably just looking out for your long-term academic and professional interests. (I know, I'm shocked too!) Bear with me....
Your post clearly conveys your determination to strongly communicate your message to the world. I totally understand that and completely support you. But, it might be a good idea to think of this message as a long-term battle vs. a 20-min revolution.
Remember, school districts in the U.S. are rarely changed in an election year, despite serious physical ailments to the buildings, let alone the curricula.
I do not think that you would be doing a disservice to these children by putting a little spin on your message. (Ok, I'll admit it - maybe a little disservice.)
I just think that for your long term struggle; for real, permanent, system-wide changes; it might be a good idea to heed some of your advisor's advice.
You can always increase the strength of your message as you build on your research. And don't worry: you'll still win the Nobel Prize. ;)
Just know that I support you in your decision, what ever you decide.
PS: Sorry for such a long response....
And, can you send me your paper (to read) or is it under copyright/a 'no-no'?
It's hard to evaluate this without seeing your paper. Was the issue with mentioning problems in *any* light or did you professor feel that you were making grandiose statements without strong evidence?
There's a tendency for students (even doctoral ones) to assume a very "change the world" tone in their work when they haven't established a professional position that either a)has credible power (i.e. bill clinton's statement carries more weight than a political science student) or b)a clear, feasible plan for doing so. I'm not questioning your work, but it's possible the professor felt your presentation has a compariable dissonance between what your present and your tone in doing so.
i think her main grouse with my presentation is that i'm raising a controversial *problem*, and not that i have no evidence. i suspect i might have come across as a little presumptuous in terms of postulating why and where the problem is coming from, so that's something i'm probably going to temper for the presentation.
also, i've kinda decided to focus more on research imperatives in terms of *solving* the problem instead of beating a dead horse, harping on about the fact that the problem exists. hopefully it'll then be more about offering constructive critique of the system rather than about blaming everyone and everything.
and thanks everyone for your wonderful support and comments- it's been very encouraging!
Hey Serene,
It sounds like you have come to a good compromise, without compromising the truth too much. I hope your colleagues can understand that the education system is not perfect and that they are supportive of your ideas on solving the problem. But if they are mean to you, when you come to Dave and Jen's, we can talk trash about them. :)
Post a Comment