Our new normal

My new normal

It's been almost two months into the new job and I have to admit that I'm enjoying it more than I had expected. There's a lot of the number crunching that I knew would be part of the job, but also much intellectual stimulation, hard thinking (which I do enjoy, I have to say), and co-workers who make the challenging work exciting and interesting.

A new job has also meant a new schedule for all of us at home and that's something that's still undergoing some trial and error. Initially, I took Sophie to daycare and drove to work but that meant having to haul the poor thing out of bed at 6.45am and paying for really expensive season parking near my office in the central business district. We tried that out for a couple of weeks but realized that it didn't make sense financially or time-wise. Now that Jude's on break, he's taken over drop-off and pick-up and I take the bus to work, which has worked out so much better for everyone. Jude and Sophie get to sleep more and I don't stress out about being late for work. I also really enjoy long bus-rides (many thanks to Lush for great company), especially early in the morning, so it's been win-win all round. When term starts up again, we'll switch out depending on Jude's teaching schedule, but hopefully, it'll be more forgiving than a crazy early mad-rush for everybody everyday.

Coming home after 6.00 means little time for elaborate dinner prep. Thank god for our families though who always thoughtfully prepare a ton of food for us on weekends to bring home to freeze. Between that, takeout once or twice a week, and simple foods that are easy and quick to cook like fish, noodle soups, and veggies, we pretty much have dinner covered every night with time to spare to unwind and play and read with Sophie.

As for chores, we're managing to cope quite well-- if we need to, we put a video on for Sophie on weekends and do whatever major cleaning that needs to get done like mopping the floor or cleaning the bathrooms. But since no one is at home in the day, the house never really gets too messy or dirty; the Roomba also vacuums three times a week so that saves us from doing much dusting. Most importantly, we farm out the ironing to a laundry company because honestly, there is nothing I hate more than ironing...

The almost three-month break was nice to have after moving half-way across the world and gave me time to set things up in our new apartment. But it feels good to be back working and thinking about more than just how to hang our posters up or how many sets of bedding we need... I think the guy at our neighborhood DIY store was really getting sick of seeing me every other day with some new request ;)

A very Singaporean farewell

[click for full album]

1. My wonderful co-workers!!!!, 2. Surprise!!, 3. Hand made Singapore flag banners!, 4. American "classics" I had never eaten before

No one has cooler co-workers than I did. NO ONE. Because if you did, you'd have had a Singapore-themed farewell party thrown for you. Did your co-workers throw you said party? No? See, that's why my co-workers are the best!

It was a party befitting a research center-- no one there knew anything about Singapore, and so what did they do? Research! In the end, everyone's place card was of a famous Singaporean-- Dick Lee, Kumar, Lee Kuan Yew, Phua Chu Kang, etc.-- and there was a string banner of handmade Singaporean flags (which I don't think I've actually ever seen in Ann Arbor), complete with painstakingly hand cut stars. My co-workers had shut me in my room and I had no idea what they were doing. So imagine my utter surprise and delight when I walked in to see what they had done- it was so so so wonderful :)

The menu was as diametrically opposed to that as possible, though- the food theme was "American Classics Serene Has Not Yet Eaten" ;) And so on the menu was an old school tuna casserole (complete with canned corn, Campbell cream of mushroom soup, and shredded cheese), Sunny-D orange drink (I hesitate to use the term "juice" because I'm not sure how much juice there actually is in Sunny-D), mac & cheese from a box, jello salad, all manner of Hostess cakes, banana pudding, and other processed American delights :) Everything pretty much looked like it was the same color-- Basic Beige-- and I didn't even want to know what the calorie, sugar, and sodium content of some of the foods were; but it all tasted delicious because it was put together with so much fun and good cheer.

It really was the best farewell party anyone could have asked for and I'm so going to miss working with these folks. This was my first real job after graduation and I looked forward to going to work everyday because I loved what I did and I loved the people I worked with. And there really isn't much more a person can ask for in a job.

"Research" rocks!

Home

After almost a decade away, we are returning to Singapore.

It was not an easy or uncomplicated decision to make but it has been the perfect storm of factors and we think this is the right thing to do for now. Jude has been made a very generous job offer that we couldn't turn down and the research prospects in Singapore appear much more promising for me than they are here in the U.S. More importantly, when we asked Sophie if she'd rather stay in Ann Arbor or go back to Singapore, she batted nary an eyelid and replied, "I want to go to Singapore." I think she has very fond and vivid memories of when we were home over Christmas and is really looking forward to reliving them again. She talks about her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, and all the things she remembers seeing and doing- she's ready to leave right now if we'd let her :) I doubt she understands the magnitude or permanence of this move but she's happy about the prospect and I guess that's more than we can ask of her right now. And of course, there's our families, who couldn't be more ecstatic about our decision. The happy vibes that were jumping right out of Skype when we broke the news to them could probably generate enough electricity to power a small country :)

We're going to miss Ann Arbor in so many ways- this is after all where Jude and I shared our first home, bought our first car, started and completed grad school, and had our child. And where Sophie is concerned, Ann Arbor has given her just about the most blessed childhood we could have asked for her. It has given her great caregivers and friends, taught her about seasons, and inculcated in her a love for and curiosity about nature and the great outdoors. Ann Arbor made it possible for us to expose her to the array of intellectually and culturally-rich experiences that have shaped her early years. Singapore will do the same as she moves past toddlerhood, but in different ways, and it'll be quite the adventure for all of us.

We recognize that we'll be going home with some degree of privilege-- not of money or status-- but of experience. The last nine years here has influenced us tremendously in the way we now think, behave, and make decisions. And we want to use that experience to do good. To be good. That is what makes me hopeful about this next stage of our lives- that by going home, we can be of greater service than if we stayed here, that we can better contribute to something larger than ourselves, put something out into the ether that was not there before us.

But for now, there are more modest concerns that occupy us- purging and packing up the house, figuring out the details of the move, and dealing with mundane things like car payments, loans, credit cards, etc. Basically, we're slowly erasing the traces of our life here in the U.S. and re-carving one in Singapore.

See you in August, Singapore.

Sunset at MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore

Working girl

I started at my new job last month. It’s been three weeks and it’s been going really great. The work is stimulating and challenging in all the good ways-- lots of awesome data to dig into and incredible projects to work on—and the people have been amazingly nice. I even get my own office (with TWO windows no less!) so that’s been sweet. I can almost unreservedly say that I look forward to going to work.

It occurred to me a while ago that I’ve never had a regular 9 to 5 job. Between being a teacher and then a grad student, my days, nights, and weekends constantly bled into each other, whether it’s grading, prepping, reading, analyzing, or writing. But now, because of the secure data I work with that’s stored on the office server, I literally have no choice but to leave work behind when I walk out at 5.30, which has been really nice. So these days, I get to spend nights after Sophie goes to bed catching up on chores, prepping meals (more on that later), guilt-free (relatively) TV, and right now, helping Jude proof-read his dissertation draft chapters.

But there’s the trade-off of course, mostly the flexibility of time. It’s not like I can take a break from grading and go get a haircut, or schedule a dental appointment in the middle of the day, or have a leisurely breakfast with Jude. From the moment we get up in the morning, it’s a pretty mad rush to get everyone ready so that we can drop Sophie off at daycare, and then Jude at school, and then be at my desk before 9.00.

It also means I've had to give my my Thursdays with Sophie. I know it's just one day, and I still have the mornings (no matter how brief), evenings, and weekends with her. But Thursdays have been our special day together for so long that I was a little wistful that first Thursday away from her. Jude takes her these days and I think it's been nice for her to have her Dada all to herself for a whole day. I'm not sure how cognizant Sophie is that her daily routine has shifted somewhat. We used to be able to take our time getting ready in the morning even if it means dropping her off at daycare late-- reading an extra book, rolling around in bed a little longer, singing one more silly song-- or picking her up early because it's a nice day out and then spend the afternoon at the park. These days, we're out of the house by 8 and she doesn't get picked up till 5.30. Thankfully, she loves being at daycare-- loves her friends and her teachers-- and is doing so much good growing that I don't feel as much guilt as I thought I would for keeping her there so many hours a day.

And then there's the working parent conundrum of meals and chores. Between Jude and I, I think we do pretty well in terms of keeping the house clean and neat. Sometimes it takes a while for the laundry to get folded (and let's not even talk about ironing), but hey, as long as it's clean.... Cooking has been a little trickier. Gone are the days of experimentation where I can spend a couple of hours in the kitchen sauteeing, simmering, or stewing. These days, it's whatever I can whip up in 20 minutes like a quick pasta or a steamed/roasted one-dish meal that I prepped the night before. I also try to make large pots of soups over the weekends (miso, chicken and veggies, minestrone, etc) and the leftovers keep really well. Which is also why our freezer has been my new best friend... Of course, we've been eating out or ordering in quite a bit more lately but that's mainly for Jude and I- because of her allergies, Sophie still almost exclusively gets homemade food, even if it means her sometimes getting four different permutations of rice porridge in a week (not that she's complaining...)

It's been an interesting 3 weeks juggling parenthood with a full-time job, and I have newfound respect for people who've been doing this successfully for years. I want to think it's forcing me to be more conscious and protective about how I spend my time- at work, with Jude, with Sophie, even with myself. It does feel a little overwhelming at times, but also strangely rewarding when things fall in place exactly like you want them to (Everyone out of the house before 8! With matching clothes and socks/shoes! No phone calls from daycare! No work crises! Dinner meets daily carbohydrate, protein, and fibre requirements! DVR works so I can watch Modern Family after Sophie goes to bed!).

The scariest flowchart you've ever seen

[click for full horror]

That's all the stuff I have to do from now till October 26. Yes, my 34th birthday, also coincidentally the deadline for me to complete all my doctoral requirements in order to graduate in December. Just as well, if I had to celebrate another birthday as a graduate student, shoot me. It's not the world's most forgiving schedule but if I gird my loins, suck it in, bite the bullet, haul ass, and write like a maniac for the next 5 weeks, I might just make this dastardly deadline.

September is going to be interesting...

Working girl

1. Hi Serena!, 2. How Sophie occupied herself while Mama worked, 3. Sprawled out across the office table, 4. Morning nap at Mama's research office

Hi everyone,
So today was a big day for me- Mama brought me to her research office with her and I had a great time! I took a nice morning nap in my stroller, letting Mama get some work done. But I wasn't comfortable in there for too long and so she had to take me out and put me in the Baby Bjorn. That was nice- I like being able to look around me. Lights are SO COOL!! But they're tiring to look at so I fell asleep again. I think this allowed Mama to get more work done with her co-workers. They're nice- they said I look cute in my pajamas and let me play with them :) One of them asked Mama if the pound she's convinced I put on during my growth spurt all went to my cheeks- I don't know what that meant but I smiled anyway, puffing out my cheeks, and that made everyone laugh. Who knows why... adults... I woke up in time for Mama's lunch and she brought me to get a salad from Za's with Aunt Serena while I was still in the Bjorn. That was super-duper awesome coz I got to go outside and soak in the gorgeous Fall weather that Mama loves to much. I saw people, and cars, a big blue bus, more people, felt the sun shine on my face, burped while Mama was in line at the cafe which made Aunt Serena laugh out loud. These big people are so easily amused.

Mama was worried that I would be bored so she brought along my favorite toys- Sophie the Giraffe and my rattle as well as a quilt and fleece blanket so I'll be comfortable. And I was! Mama put me on a large office table so she could keep an eye on me and I just chilled there and watched her shuffle papers about. I guess that's what Work is. It looked hard. And tiring. Just looking at her so busy tired *me* out so I fell asleep again. Mama didn't have to Bjorn me this time- I was so pooped from all the smiling and light-staring that I slept soundly in the car seat.

I hope Mama brings me to the office more often- I really had a good time :) Although someone needs to remind her to change my diaper more often. She was so busy at one point that she missed one of my catastro-poops and I did not smell nice. *Adults*!!

Working mom

So my maternity leave ended this week and I'm technically "back at work", although that doesn't have quite the same meaning for a grad student as a full-time working mom. It basically means I'm back to working 20 hours a week as a research assistant and can no longer spend my days sitting in front of the TV with Sophie sleeping next to me on the couch, or spend my nights Internet-ing from our bed. The professor I'm working for is really understanding though and apart from the weekly meetings I'm obligated to attend, she's allowing me-- for the most part-- to work from home doing data analysis and writing so I don't have to worry about childcare for Sophie, at least till the end of this calendar year. It's going to be a challenge to juggle taking care of her, my research assistantship responsibilities as well as finishing writing my dissertation, but people have done it before and I'm confident Jude and I will manage.

Here's how today-- officially my first "back to work" day-- unfolded:

8:00- Woke up wondering why Sophie hadn't woken up for her morning feed yet and debated whether or not to go back to sleep. Decided to wake up and freshen up before she did rouse and demand breakfast.

8:30- Nursed Sophie for about 20 minutes while Jude made coffee and breakfast.

9:00- 10:30- Had some active awake time with Sophie, playing with Chickie, reading a couple more pages of Make Way For Ducklings [it was riveting stuff- where will the Mallards make their home?? Sophie can't wait to find out what happens next... ;)], and cooing and talking with her as she sat in her bouncer (for those of you who follow our photos, yes, she's finally taken to the bouncer- yay!).

10:30- Just as Jude went off to school, Sophie nursed and promptly fell asleep. I had planned to just put her to bed in her crib upstairs and turn the baby monitor on as I worked on my desk downstairs but decided to just let her sleep in her bouncer next to me just so I could keep an eye on her. She didn't seem to mind and fell into a deep slumber after fussing just for a little bit.

10:30- 5:00- This was basically my most productive stretch of the day. Sophie stirred to feed twice but went right back to sleep (we did have a brief 20-minute mother-daughter bonding moment but our little girl decided that sleep was more important than whatever crazy antics her mother wanted to engage her in...). I forced myself to be as efficient as possible in finishing whatever it was my professor wanted me to do (on the list today: work with some data in Excel, critique a couple of journal articles, and prepare a manuscript for publication) because I knew once Sophie woke up in the evening, I wasn't going to be able to get much done till she went to bed at night. I even had lunch in front of the computer.

5:00- Sophie woke up to feed and basically stayed up till bedtime. When she was done nursing, we-- well, she-- spent some time on her crib under the mobile watching it for a little. Now that her head's a little steadier, I think she's more able to engage with the mobile better. That didn't last long though and it was back downstairs for more Make Way For Ducklings (yes! The Mallards found a place to nest on the Charles River! And they get peanuts from Policeman Michael! Sophie was at the edge of her (bouncer) seat!!...) and incongruous babbling on my part to try to make her smile for the camera. Jude came home about an hour later and we went for a walk outside. The weather was really nice-- albeit a little humid-- and Sophie seemed to enjoy the fresh air after being cooped up inside the whole day. We came home for some tummy time- yay, Sophie!- and then she fed again.

7:00- Dinner involved basically reheating a fraction of the buffet my mom cooked up that is now stored in various containers in our fridge and freezer. We ate while Sophie watched on, sitting quietly in her bouncer. I wonder sometimes when she's in that quiet alert state if she's actually thinking, entertaining actual thoughts in that little growing brain of hers. What goes through her mind? How she can weasel more milk out of the lady in front of her? Or get the guy sitting next to the lady to change her diaper more often? Oh, and burping. Burping's good...

7:45- It's time to bathe her and put her to bed. It's become a nightly ritual ever since she was a couple of days old that bathtime signals bedtime, and surprisingly, Sophie loves it. In fact, it's the one time of the day that we're almost guaranteed a happy, chill baby. She really seems to enjoy being changed and wiped, having a warm towel wiped all over her face and lavender baby lotion slowly massaged into her little nooks and crannies. Like Cleopatra, Jude always says, with both Mama and Daddy synchronously bathing, drying, moisturizing, and dressing her :)

8:00- now- As Sophie sleeps, Jude works in the study while I continue with my work downstairs. The baby monitor's on which is a little disconcerting because it amplifies sound which makes her every whimper sound that much louder. I'm trying my darndest not to run upstairs at the slightest rustle.

I think I did good considering I'm still feeling a little wistful that my parents have left. I tell myself that we managed that first 4 weeks without them and that we'll see them again soon- we just have to ease back into our schedule and we'll be back into the swing of things.

Hopefully...

Yay Jude!

As I'm typing this, Jude's probably wrapping up his dissertation proposal defense. He's worked so hard on this for so long and I'm so very very proud of him! He's got a great study going and I think it'll make a kick-ass contribution to the field :) Clearly, the baby thinks so too- she was kicking (or punching) me excitedly all through last night as I listened to him go through his slides for the defense. I think our little girl already loves the sound of her Daddy's voice :)

We'll be at Cafe Zola for dinner tonight- I think after so many sleepless nights and nervous days, Jude definitely deserves it!

Why it's ok to feel stupid - especially in Science

Some comforting advice for myself ... and perhaps for a few of you out there.

I was amazed that the Journal of Cell Science has the wherewithal to publish an essay like this. Kudos to the author of the essay and the editors of the journal.

Justification for recent bouts of self-flagellation and insecurity ;)

The importance of stupidity in scientific research

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Essays Academic Work stupidity science

Writing spaces

So last night, we stumbled upon the BBC's cool slideshow featuring Eamonn McCabe's photographs of writers' rooms. It's a fascinating insight into the working environments of writers like Beryl Bainbridge and Roald Dahl. Some are austere (like V.S. Naipal), others are more genteel (like Margaret Drabble), and then there are those whose rooms are exactly how you would imagine them to be- Roald Dahl's, for one... Can't you just picture him writing while sinking into that comfy old armchair, surrounded by quirky odds and ends? :) My favorites, though, are Seamus Heaney's and Martin Amis'. For no other reason than the flood of natural light that comes in through their skylight.

While we aren't writers in the purest sense of the word, as graduate students, writing has become a huge part of our lives. And until that slideshow, I hadn't really thought about my writing space very much. It's just a place where I work and because it's also in our bedroom, it's not like it has some independent identity of its own like a real study room. But I should probably take more pride in my writing corner- it is after all a space of labor and thought, a space of creation, even if the product is a mundane dissertation.

Jude's writing space is in the smaller of our two rooms and while he does have a larger table, he shares the table with our printer, and the room with our guest futon and three huge shelves of all our books combined.

One day, we will have a large room devoted just to our books and our writing. It will have built-in shelves, generous working tables facing each other, a corner-to-corner-floor-to-ceiling white board wall, and preferably a skylight to let in as much natural light as possible. Yes, one day... :)

What does your writing space look like?

In Florida

In Florida
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

I'm in strip mall hell. Surrounded by a Harley Davidson store, a Walgreens, McDonald's (with a giant lit-up pack of fries up front), Popeye's, two gas stations, the world's largest Checkers restaurant (apparently), and a place called Bargain World which according to some tourist website, sells discounted Floridian apparel (what Floridian apparel is, I don't know...) I'm also just off the freeway and two exits away from Universal Studios.

Yikes...

I'm in Orlando for a conference for two days and looking at my surroundings, it looks like I'm going to be staying in the resort the whole time. Jude helpfully informed me that there's actually a mall two miles away, but honestly, trying to get there would probably be too much effort. Not that staying on-site would be any better. The resort I'm in is kind of weird- lots of fountains and pools you can't swim in, I had to get driven in a buggy to get from the lobby to my room, it actually looks like some kind of motel-- the kind you drive up to-- and in the middle of nowhere, there's suddenly an ice-cream parlor. Plus, I also had the WORST possible dinner ever at the hotel restaurant- some sad excuse for grilled salmon and saffron risotto. No good ever comes out of dry fish and gummy, gloppy rice.

The only saving grace is that the room is more than adequate and they have good coffee. So it looks like the next two days will be spent session-hopping, sitting in my room, sipping coffee, and doing work. Or if the weather gets warmer, sitting by the pool, sipping coffee, and doing work. Let's hope it's the latter.

Quote of the week

Decision-making — whether it’s taking out a loan or deciding whom to marry — isn’t a coldly rational, self-conscious act. Instead, decision-making is a long chain of processes, most of which happen beneath the level of awareness. We absorb a way of perceiving the world from parents and neighbors. We mimic the behavior around us. Only at the end of the process is there self-conscious oversight.

From an op-ed in the NYT by columnist David Brooks titled "The Culture of Debt".

Busy in the ole SG

Thought that I might as well keep everyone abreast with how I have been keeping myself busy in Singapore. I am spending 8 weeks in Singapore as part of NSF's East Asia and Pacific Summer Institute (EAPSI) contingent to Singapore. This is a program that has traditionally been conducted with Japan, Taiwan, China, Australia and NZ - Singapore has only signed up to receive students from the US this year. So I am here with 14 other US grad students from all over, and we are keeping ourselves very busy :) To stay updated with the group's activities, check out the EAPSI flickr album that I've created.

For work, I am being hosted by Lonce Wyse from the Communications and New Media Dept. at the National University of Singapore. While here, I will be working with Giorgos Cheliotis on a cultural analytics project studying patterns of behavior on an open sharing and contribution community called ccMixter. Essentially, I am hoping to apply the theoretical framework of "Social Performances" - a theoretical framework that I developed for my field prelim exams - on this data set. Finalized details of this project will be updated in this blog on a later post. While here, I am also hoping to speak to Singapore bloggers and I hope to conduct followup data collection with them. So, I am keeping myself very busy, especially with keeping a 9am - 7pm at the CNM dept in NUS.

Additionally, I will also be involved with a couple of conferences that the readers of this blog may be interested in:

ISEA 2008
This is a large conference that seeks to bring together artists and the innovative use of technology in their work. Lonce Wyse, my host, is one of the main organizers of this conference. And essentially, because of that connection, I have been having great/interesting lunch conversations with artists from all over the world. Highlights of the conference include

iCommons Summit 2008
This is the large creative commons meeting and is happening in Sapporo, Japan. Giorgos Cheliotis, whom I am working with is the chair of the very first research track at this conference. I have a paper accepted for this conference, but it's proving to be REALLY expensive to get to. So I am undecided about attending.

Launch of Creative Commons, SG
Singapore's very own creative commons license will be launched at the end of July. Details of the event haven't really been released yet. But there are a couple of associated events that may interest folks:
1) There will be a panel on Copyright and the Creative Commons during this conference:

http://www.isea2008singapore.org/conference/conf_panels.html#samtani

2) Lawrence Lessig will also be in town to deliver a keynote address about the Commons:
http://www.isea2008singapore.org/conference/conf_keynotes.html#lawrence

So there, that was quite a lot of information ... just in case you think that jude yew is slacking off the summer away in the ole SG ;)