A room of one's own**

Until we moved back to Singapore, Sophie hadn't had a room to call her own. In Ann Arbor, she shared a room with our books and Jude's wardrobe while her toys and books took over our living room downstairs. So one of the most important things we wanted to give her in our new place was her own room that she can call her little haven.

We didn't bring any big pieces of furniture back with us, but we did bring a whole ton of books, including three boxes of just Sophie's. And so that became the central focus of her room. I had blogged about Jane Mount's children's books spine portraits, specifically her Ideal Bookshelf 1 a couple of years ago and we were finally able to frame and hang it up.

We brought Sophie's display bookcase back with us so that went in her room as well.

Initially, when we first started buying books with book jackets, I found them such a bother and Sophie would always pull them out anyway. But then I started saving the book jackets of books that Sophie really enjoys reading and got the idea to frame them as wall art now that we have a little more wall space.

Her kitchen set and lemonade stand are also in her room which makes Sophie so happy because she now basically has all her favorite things in one place. It's easily our favorite room in the house and we spend a lot time there just hanging out- reading to Sophie, allowing her to "serve" us food, having pretend picnics, etc. Whenever we need to be doing something else-- write an email, do the laundry, make dinner-- we know we can leave Sophie in her room and she will be perfectly content and happy. Sometimes, we actually have to bribe her to leave the room because she can stay in there forever if you let her.

The room has come together really nicely and we're quite proud of it. And to make things sweeter, we found out yesterday that Sophie's room has been featured in apartment therapy's My Room series!

[click for link]

apartment therapy is one of my favorite home and design websites and I love browsing through their Nursery and Kids room tours. And so it's just really exciting to have them showcase something we've put together, especially something as close to our hearts as Sophie's love for reading and books, and the room we've created to nurture that.

**From my favorite Woolf essay.

34 boxes

I've never been happier to see our vacuum cleaner. Or our can opener. Or our books. And don't even get me started on how happy Sophie's been now that all her toys and books have arrived.

And arrived they have. All 34 boxes.

1. And our boxes have arrived!, 2. More boxes..., 3. Sophie's room in disarray, 4. So.Many.Books

It feels great to have all our things in one place again. For a while, it was a little tricky getting certain things done-- like opening a can (I know that sounds so silly...)-- because I didn't want to spend money buying a can opener just for the moment when I knew I had packed our awesome one somewhere in those boxes. There was also some anxiety about whether our boxes would arrive unscathed and all accounted for- I've heard too many horror stories about international moves. But thankfully, we got a great moving company and nothing was broken or lost in the transit.

Most importantly, Sophie is ecstatic that she has all her beloved toys and books with her again. Mostly her books. Since our boxes arrived, we've been able to pretty much leave her in her room while we prepare dinner and this is what she'll be reliably doing:



Like I said, happy camper :)

Setting up home

So let's see- we've been to Ikea probably half a dozen times in the last 3 weeks, I have the nearby DIY store on speed dial, and I've probably bought enough 3M Command products (mostly hooks and hanging strips) to qualify for stock option...

Setting up a home from scratch has been more exhausting than I had expected and this isn't even taking into account the 32 boxes of stuff that are sitting at a warehouse somewhere in Singapore waiting to clear customs. The major things were out of the way fairly quickly-- our apartment comes furnished with the big items like beds, desks, and closets and our families have been so helpful with things like household products, pots, silverware, linens, etc. But it's one or some other little thing that needs constant attention almost everyday- organizer boxes for the bathroom (who knew they'd be so important?), foil and parchment paper (we used to buy these in bulk and never had to think about them), or basic medical supplies like band-aids or paracetamol.

Thankfully, I haven't started work yet and with Sophie at daycare for most of the day, I've been exploiting the fuel efficiency of zippy Honda and driving about town getting stuff done. And in the process, I've learned that I no longer derive any pleasure from shopping. Oh, I will shop if I have to get something, but if nothing in the store is on my list of things to buy for the day, then I'm not going in. I used to love just walking around malls- soaking in the atmosphere, browsing the racks just because I could. But I think a combination of having had Sophie (anyone with a kid will tell you that the first buzzkill of window-shopping is a clingy, whiny 3-year-old) and having lived in a city where we only went to the mall once every three or four of months (and only because there was something specific to get), I no longer have the patience nor fortitude to bustle at a crowded shopping center.

Which also explains why we keep going back to Ikea and to the same DIY store- I know where things are and who I spoke to last. And that's what's going to help me get things done in the shortest amount of time so I can get out of there and conquer that next bit of household minutiae.

Don't get me wrong, I'm actually enjoying this whole process-- yes, it's been tiring, but I'm also appreciating the me-time to do my own thing once house stuff has been overcome. I'm reading a lot more than I have (just finished this and have this and this started), writing quite a fair bit too, and also setting aside time for Sophie.

When Jude and I were both working, our days were a harried blur of breakfast- daycare drop-off- work- daycare pickup- dinner- bathtime- books- sleep. And while I know we'll be replicating that once I start work, it's been nice these past couple of weeks not to have to do that. Sophie can see the expressway from her window and so we take some time to watch the cars together after I rouse her as she slowly wakes up on my lap; or I pick her up early from daycare whenever I can. Most of her toys and games are spread out in those 32 boxes so we read a lot, and do art, or just talk about our day. She's at that age where she can fully engage you in a conversation so we just lounge on the couch and chat. She tells me about not drinking chrysanthemum tea at school because it was too bitter and I tell her about having to return the water filter because it broke.

Speaking of which, our 32 boxes are scheduled to arrive on Monday. Just as we got comfortable and have the house as set up as it can be...

Settling in

My sister reminded me recently that it's only been four weeks since we've arrived in Singapore. And yet it feels like so much has happened in this short span of time. In fact, so much has happened just in the last 10 days alone.

1) Jude officially started at his new job. Although it's been hard work and he's been really busy, I think it's also something he's feeling good about.

2) We finally moved into our new apartment after living out of our suitcases for close to 4 weeks. We're still in a mild state of disbelief that we get to call this home for at least the next year and are counting our blessings that we get to enjoy it for even that long.

Our new place

In the little time since we've moved in, I think we've gotten it pretty much as livable as it can be right now. Many thanks go to our parents for bringing us essentials like kitchenware and pantry items- this move would not have been possible without them. Ikea has also been a great friend (I've been there three times in the past week alone) and so have several different DIY stores around the island. We are a little nervous about the 36 boxes of our stuff that is presumably in the middle of some ocean right now- I'm already mentally picturing where we're going to put certain things and it's making my head hurt...

3) We bought a car. We still miss our VW (shout out to the Cooneys- We're so happy that Tempest has found such a loving family!!) but this Honda has been a really zippy ride.

4) We found a daycare for Sophie that we all love. It's a lab school, which makes the educator geek in me so happy :) I'm particularly excited that we'll get to support the research and professional development that goes on in the center. And best of all, Sophie has been having a whale of a time since she started last week.

5) I submitted an article-- my first in Singapore-- to IPSCommons, an online platform for our local policy think-tank. It was published yesterday. I'm quite happy with the piece and excited to have it up somewhere for public consumption.

So there- not too shabby for 10 days, I think. There are still odds and ends that need to be tied up but for the most part-- until the rest of our stuff arrives in two weeks-- we're pretty much settled in. And with that is a profound sense of gratitude and we feel really blessed to have family close by to make this all relatively painless.

Sophie at the Elizabeth

It's not quite The Plaza, I'm no Nanny, and we don't have a pug or a turtle. But for the past three weeks, it's almost like Sophie's been living the life of Eloise (at the Plaza).

Since we arrived in Singapore, we've been staying at The Elizabeth Hotel in the heart of Orchard Road. Even though it's meant cramming all that we've brought along with us and the energies of a now 3-year-old into one room, it's actually been quite a nice stay. For one, it's literally a 2-minute walk away from the hospital my grandfather was at when he was ill, which made visiting him so easy. It's also right in the middle of the shopping district so Sophie got an immediate introduction to big city living right from Day One. Let's hope she doesn't think walking through fancy shiny malls is going to be part of her daily routine once we've moved into our new apartment...

The staff at the hotel has been nothing but kind- three weeks is a long time to be staying at a hotel and because the hotel isn't a huge one, we've become familiar with the people who work here. The lady who cleans the elevator is always careful to tell Sophie not to run after she's just mopped the floors; Suresh, the waiter in the hotel cafe knows Sophie by name and always says 'hi' and 'good morning' when we go down for breakfast and always has Sophie's highchair ready for her; and the porters out front never fail to ask to help with our bags even when it's obvious we only have the diaper bag with us. Sophie of course knowns everyone- waves to everyone, says 'hi' and introduces herself to everyone-- staff or guest--, and has on more than one occasion, invited various members of the housekeeping crew to her birthday party :) They adore her, I think, which is why we come back every evening to a room well made and Sophie's toys all meticulously laid out the extra bed she sleeps on, no matter the toys were were when we left the room.

We check out tomorrow morning and while it'll be a relief to have more space again, a small piece of me will miss The Elizabeth a little. It's been our haven from the whirlwind that's been the past three weeks and for that, we'll always be grateful.

Homecoming is sweet

The sun's been unforgiving, jet lag lingers, and I still miss our car.

But being bathed with love does have the tendency to take the edge of things like that :) It's been a wonderful homecoming and as it gradually sinks in that we've moved back to Singapore permanently-- you mean, I don't have to cram every family commitment, social engagement, and food imperative into 20 days??-- it's also slowly feeling more and more like we've made the right decision. In particular, Sophie is SO happy to be here. She wakes up with a smile every morning, asking if she's going to see one set of grandparents or the other today; her face lights up with delight when she's informed that she will indeed be; and she's been so curious and accepting of all the new sights and sounds she's encountered just in the last three days alone. She waves at everyone she sees, asks about the plants she's never seen before, is immensely thrilled by the prospect of one day riding on a double-decker bus ("How do they get up there, Mama?" she asks, eyes widening in amazement...), and asks to translate everything into Chinese, which she seems to recognize as the second most widely spoken language in Singapore.

She still thinks her friends and teachers from daycare are "on their way here"-- I think she didn't really get the whole goodbye Gretchen's House part-- but apart from that, we couldn't have asked for a more wholehearted embrace of Singapore from her. The real test will be when she starts school of course, but until then, we're pretty confident that she's loving her new home as much as we could have hoped for her to :)

Cousin love with Julianne!

Our last day

View of the Pacific Ocean from Highway 1

In the end, it was a fitting way to end our last whole day in the U.S. Of all the things we will miss about this country-- and Northern California in particular-- this is one of the most significant- the breathtaking vision of the Pacific Ocean from Highway 1. There's something in that wild, untameable, almost violent oceanscape that gets me every time, a profound reminder almost, that Life is larger than our immediate cares. Which is sort of how we're viewing the next stage of our lives in Singapore-- the end of one adventure merely signifies the beginning of another; and another will follow after. As our friend, Rachael reminded us today, "Life is long."

The next time I blog, we will be several time zones away. We will miss our life here in the U.S. but a new exciting adventure beckons us in Singapore. We are looking forward to being with family, to reconnect with old friends, and to build a home in a country that hasn't really felt like home for nine years now...

Here's to finding our New Normal.

How we spent our last 36 hours in Ann Arbor

Saturday
1. Jude and Sophie spent the morning at the Hands-On Museum: We've spent so much time here with Sophie over the years, the attendants at the front desk don't even bother checking our membership card anymore when we visit.
2. Final drop-off at the Salvation Army: I've lost count of how many boxes we've taken to them. Every time we think we've brought our last box, we find enough things to fill another...
3. Gave Tempest a final car wash: It deserved it and we wanted to hand it over to Dan and Wendy in as clean a condition as we could get it.
4. Spent the rest of the day with the people we love and hold dear in Ann Arbor: thank you everyone for braving the scorching heat and coming to our farewell party. Thank you for your kind words, hugs, kisses, tears, and years of friendship. You mean more to us than you can ever imagine. Thank you also for being so enthusiastic about our white elephant game and taking a little piece of us with you, whether it was a bag of binder clips, dishwashing detergent, or batteries :)
5. Did our last load of laundry in Ann Arbor: And as a result, slept at 1.30am getting packing done.

Sunday
1. Woke up early to do last minute packing.
2. Threw last bulk of trash (including everything that was left in the fridge, bathroom, and basement)
3. Stripped our bed and sent it off with a friend who thankfully allowed us a final night on a proper bed instead of on our quilts or an inflatable bed like we thought we'd have to.
4. Said our last goodbyes to our neighbors: we had an impromptu breakfast in our shared backyard and it was really really nice.
5. Made sure the cleaning lady came and left our keys with her. It was hard handing over the keys to a place you've called home for the past 8 years.
6. Had lunch at Zingerman's. But of course. We had our favorite #13- grilled Sherman's Sure Choice (corned beef, coleslaw, and white cheddar, and a side of mac & cheese. That really made leaving Ann Arbor even harder. Jude likened it to breaking up- "Really, it's not you; it's me."
7. Spent the next couple of hours with the Cooney-Flanigans at their house: we made/ate popcorn, Sophie got in some quality Julianne time (even got to see Ginny, their cat, who she adores), and we just talked. Like it was any other visit we've paid to them. Except it wasn't. Saying goodbye to them was tough- together with the Cooks, they've been the closest thing to family we had in Ann Arbor. And having had them all in our lives these past 9 years has been nothing but a complete privilege. We've been so blessed...

There's an Ann Arbor-shaped place in our hearts that no other city will fill. Bye bye A2- you have NO idea how much you'll be missed.

Bye bye, Gretchen's House

Big goodbye hug from Harmony

It was a very strange jumble of emotions-- sadness, wistfulness, gratitude, and an odd sort of pride-- as we bade farewell to Gretchen's House this evening. It didn't feel like that long ago when we first visited GH to decide whether or not to send Sophie there, or her first day in the Baby Room 2.5 years ago. It's been her second home since then and she knows the place-- and the people-- pretty much inside out. Sophie knows all the teachers by name, almost all the children in her wing, their siblings, and often, even their parents too! We would choose to send Sophie to GH again if we had to things all over and I really can't think of a better place for Sophie to have spent such a significant part of her life.

Everyone there has taken such wonderful care of her, even if they weren't her primary care givers, and it is obvious that everyone knows her, as in really knows her-- not just her name, but her personality, likes (the Muppets, dinosaurs, sand, and the color purple) and dislikes (spiders, tornadoes, and "scary things"...) And that's where the pride thing comes in. At pick-up today, not only did all the teachers and principal come up to us to say their goodbyes, they were genuinely sad to see Sophie go. Everyone clamored to give her hugs and kisses (sometimes multiple times), some even teared up, and we were made to promise to send emails and photo updates of how Sophie does at her new school in Singapore. Everyone just stood there, morose at having to let her go. And strangely, that was the moment that made us feel that as her parents, we must be doing at least something right. That Sophie's a child people would miss, whose positive presence was something others were sad to see go.

I think a part of Sophie was sad to leave GH. She understood that it's her last day at school; which is why I think she took some time to hang out in the Baby Room, the place where it all started (see here)...

Remembering her time in the Baby Room way back when

But the other part of her also couldn't quite understand what the fuss was all about. Her teachers and I were probably more emotional about the whole thing than she was (I started crying the moment we walked out of GH- ask Jude). Sophie knows we're moving to Singapore, but she also told all her teachers and friends that they'll be moving with us. And that they'll be sleeping in her Singapore school ;) So maybe that's why the real sadness of separation didn't really sink in for her. She was more than happy to receive hugs and kisses from everyone and was free and generous with hers, but whether or not she truly comprehended the profundity of the goodbyes, well, that remains to be seen. Who knows if she might wake up one morning a month from now in our apartment in Singapore and start demanding to see her teachers and friends at GH preschool?...

More photos here.

A very Singaporean farewell

[click for full album]

1. My wonderful co-workers!!!!, 2. Surprise!!, 3. Hand made Singapore flag banners!, 4. American "classics" I had never eaten before

No one has cooler co-workers than I did. NO ONE. Because if you did, you'd have had a Singapore-themed farewell party thrown for you. Did your co-workers throw you said party? No? See, that's why my co-workers are the best!

It was a party befitting a research center-- no one there knew anything about Singapore, and so what did they do? Research! In the end, everyone's place card was of a famous Singaporean-- Dick Lee, Kumar, Lee Kuan Yew, Phua Chu Kang, etc.-- and there was a string banner of handmade Singaporean flags (which I don't think I've actually ever seen in Ann Arbor), complete with painstakingly hand cut stars. My co-workers had shut me in my room and I had no idea what they were doing. So imagine my utter surprise and delight when I walked in to see what they had done- it was so so so wonderful :)

The menu was as diametrically opposed to that as possible, though- the food theme was "American Classics Serene Has Not Yet Eaten" ;) And so on the menu was an old school tuna casserole (complete with canned corn, Campbell cream of mushroom soup, and shredded cheese), Sunny-D orange drink (I hesitate to use the term "juice" because I'm not sure how much juice there actually is in Sunny-D), mac & cheese from a box, jello salad, all manner of Hostess cakes, banana pudding, and other processed American delights :) Everything pretty much looked like it was the same color-- Basic Beige-- and I didn't even want to know what the calorie, sugar, and sodium content of some of the foods were; but it all tasted delicious because it was put together with so much fun and good cheer.

It really was the best farewell party anyone could have asked for and I'm so going to miss working with these folks. This was my first real job after graduation and I looked forward to going to work everyday because I loved what I did and I loved the people I worked with. And there really isn't much more a person can ask for in a job.

"Research" rocks!

Eating Flying Spaghetti Monsters

Sophie's dinner tonight

This is what I imagine dinner is like in the Ridley Scott household- amidst conversations about aliens and extraterrestrial lifeforms, the Scott children eat whole wheat pasta threaded through chicken dogs ;) I told Sophie she was eating Flying Spaghetti monsters and their monster eggs. And she inhaled dinner like it was her job :)

This was actually my way of jazzing up whatever's left in our fridge for the poor girl. Between purging the house and not having time to cook properly, not wanting to accumulate more food that we might not be able to finish eating, and packing up the kitchen, it's been difficult to make sure that Sophie eats nutritiously and enjoyably. We don't really care if we have to eat take-out for the rest of the week, but I can't imagine feeding Sophie chicken nuggets and hotdogs for the next 5 days.

And so thanks to Pinterest, I decided to make dinner a little fun for her. I broke uncooked whole wheat spaghetti into half, pierced them through chicken dogs that I had cut into thirds, and just threw them into boiling water. Everything took 20 minutes tops, including boiling the peas in the microwave.

Sophie thought it was a hoot and attacked the spaghetti monsters with glee, starting with the "tentacles" and eating her way into the "guts". She had so much fun with them :)

*sniff*

We leave Ann Arbor in a week and to say goodbye, I made this video to remember our 9 years here. It was wonderful going through hundreds of photos to put this together, but it was also bittersweet, reliving memories and thinking about how much we're going to miss everyone and everything we've held dear over the years.

Thanks, Ann Arbor- you've been great to us...


Goodbye, Michigan from serene koh on Vimeo.

Goodbye, Tempest

Our VW Jetta SportsWagen, the day we bought it

As of last evening, we no longer own a car.

One of the most important things we had to do before we moved was to make sure we sold our car to pay off the loan that remains on it. Thankfully, our good friends, Dan and Wendy were on the market for a new car and bought it from us. The papers were signed yesterday and the car now officially belongs to them. But being the fantastic people that they are, they're letting us drive it till our last day in Ann Arbor- told you they're fantastic :)

We love our car-- Tempest, as Sophie affectionately calls it (after its color, Tempest blue). We've never owned a brand new car before this and it took a lot of shopping, researching, and bargaining (mostly on Jude's part) before we settled on a Volkswagen Jetta SportsWagen. And it's one of the best purchases we've ever made. Driving-- whether it's just around town or road trips to Chicago-- has never been more enjoyable thanks to the smooth ride, built-in SiriusXM satellite radio, and the assurance that it's probably the safest car there is on the market.

Sophie sometimes even talks about Tempest like it's a part of the family-- asking whether it needs gas, "telling" it to take us places, "thanking" it for protecting her from the rain and wind outside, and "apologizing" to it whenever she spills something in the car. We just told her that Dan and Wendy are "helping us take care of Tempest" when we're in Singapore (I don't think she quite grasps the intricacies of buying and selling yet) and I think it comforts her somewhat- "Now Tempest will take Julianne and Tobin (their kids) to the store too!", she says :)

We've been casually looking at cars in Singapore and considering whether or not we can afford one. And it doesn't look like we can, not immediately anyway. Cars are obscenely expensive back home; besides, we couldn't buy a model like Tempest even if we could afford to- the VW Jetta SportsWagen is not available in Asia. We've always loved VWs and now that we've been spoiled by having actually owned one, it's going to be hard finding a car that we'll (Sophie included) love just as much... :(

What Sophie has to say about The Move

T minus 9 days

[When she woke up from her nap and came downstairs to see that we had taken down all the posters from the wall and that we had dismantled her lemonade stand] Oh wow, it looks so different!

I will help pack my kitchen set, and my books, and also my work table. But I cannot do the work table by myself. It is too heavy. It is a Dada job.

[As we're sorting through her books and deciding which ones to bring with us first and which ones to go with the movers] I think "10 Little Rubber Ducks" will go on the ship. They can swim if they fall off the ship.

I know what- I have a great idea! Let's bring my dinosaurs to Singapore too! Then Mr. Triceratops can see the Merlion spit the water out!

[When we ask her if she's going to miss her friends and teachers at Gretchen's House] No. Because they will come with me to Singapore. And they will sleep in my Singapore school.

I am happy to go to Singapore. But also a little bit sad. [When we ask why she's a little bit sad...] Because I'm not a lot sad.

Thinking back

Us in front of the Michigan Union, 20 August 2003

This is us, nine years ago, hanging out on a campus that we were just getting to know. We had been married less than 2 months and you could say that this was the beginning of a very long extended honeymoon away from our families... :)

Packing up our house and saying goodbye to people has naturally gotten me thinking about our first days in Ann Arbor, and surprisingly, I remember them quite vividly. It was 10 Aug 2003 and I remember our flight out to Detroit from Singapore being really early in the morning, which meant that I had to be at the airport by 3.30am. And yet, despite the ungodly hour, our nearest and dearest friends and family turned up to see us off. It was a significant crowd which was wonderful and yet so sad, because it made saying goodbye just that much harder. We had no idea then that we'd end up staying for almost a decade, but even just a couple of years away from home seemed such a long time then...

We arrived in Detroit on a Sunday and had to check into a motel in Ann Arbor-- the Red Roof Inn on Plymouth Road-- because we couldn't collect the keys to our apartment on a weekend. Our first meal was at the Big Boy's next door- Jude had a meatloaf meal and I had the Caesar salad. Don't ask me why I remember... They tasted unremarkable. I think we were really tired by then, American classics, or not. Not knowing what our breakfast situation would be like, we bought some fruit strips and granola bars from CVS, the pharmacy close by, and ended up really eating them for breakfast the next morning.

We make it to our one-bedroom apartment the next day and it was pretty much what we expected. It was fully furnished-- very retro '70s without meaning to be retro-- and nothing to write home about. I do remember being constantly perturbed by the poop-brown carpeting though. Anyways, we make it to campus to officially matriculate and get our student IDs all sorted out. We would keep those same ID cards for the next 7 years (before we were issued new ones after graduation). We had lunch at the Union where I foolishly ordered pad thai from the now defunct Magic Wok, thinking that it would remind us of home. Like I said, foolish. It tasted like rice noodles fried with soy sauce with peanuts crushed over it. I was not hopeful at that point about the availability of good Asian food in Ann Arbor. Thank goodness the years have proven me wrong.

In the evening, we decided it was time to stock up our apartment with household supplies and we walked over to Kroger, the closest grocery store to us. We bought toiletries, toilet paper, a frying pan, cooking implements, two mugs, a bunch of other things, etc. And dinner. A roast chicken. This I remember vividly. What I also remember vividly is sitting in our spartan apartment tearing into the chicken with our bare hands because we hadn't bought utensils. And cleaning our hands on toilet paper because we didn't buy paper napkins or kitchen towels. There were also packets of ketchup we had "taken" from MacDonald's. Fun times... :)

Oh, and then two days later-- after moving almost 10,000 miles away from home to a firstworld country that is widely-acknowledged to be the only super-power left in the world-- we get caught in the great Northeast blackout of 2003, the second most widespread blackout in history that affected 45 million people in the U.S.

Now *that*, was fun...

Some photos from those early days here.

Bye bye, Erin

Erin with Sophie on the first day of daycare, 19 Jan 2010

Erin with Sophie earlier this month, 5 June 2012

Erin and Sophie today, Erin's last day at Gretchen's House

Today is Sophie's teacher, Erin's last day at Gretchen's House. She's moving to Nebraska so we've actually been swapping notes about our moving woes... Erin's been Sophie's primary caregiver from the very first day Sophie started daycare and the two of them have developed quite the special bond. In fact, if Sophie had it her way, we would 1) stop in Nebraska on our way to Singapore, and 2) take Erin (and the rest of her preschool friends) with us home :) Next to Jude and I, Erin probably knows Sophie the best-- Sophie's likes and dislikes, Sophie's strengths and weaknesses, how she's like when she throws a tantrum, what to do when she gets a boo-boo, etc. And Erin is just such a lovely person to begin with- we really really like her; not just because she's Sophie's teacher, but as a person, she's so fabulous. That she is also an awesome teacher makes us count our blessings everyday. We never worry when Sophie's at daycare because we know she's in good hands and that Erin's around to care for her.

If you ask her, Sophie will tell you that Erin is moving to Nebraska and that she is sad that it's Erin's last day. But I'm not sure if she fully comprehends what that really means. But Jude and I do, and we're genuinely sad. We can only hope to be able to find a caregiver who will take care of Sophie as wonderfully as Erin has...

Today, as part of a project I'm working on for Sophie, I brought our copy of Dr. Suess's Oh, the Places You'll Go! for Erin to write in- just a little message so that Sophie can remember her by in the future.

What she wrote made me cry:

Sophie-
It puts a smile on my face to imagine all the places you'll go. Just think of the places you've been so far-- Chicago, California, Singapore, Ann Arbor... the Muppet Studio (in your imagination!). Just the past few years I've seen you go places. First you were a cute, wiggly baby with an active set of lungs. Then you were a fun, curious toddler. Now you're a smart, thoughtful, creative, hilarious, fun-loving PRESCHOOLER! Your future is wide-open and you're sure to go any place you set your mind to. Some "places" are still a mystery-- will you grow up to be a teacher? Or an actor? Or a firegirl?! Other places are already clear-- you're going to be a thinker. You're going to be a book lover. You're going to have a wonderful sense of humor. Caring for you and seeing you become who you are has been my honor and I can't wait to see you continue to grow, learn, and mature. There's a Sophie-shaped place in my heart that no one else will fill. I know you won't remember me but I hope to have made a positive impression in your life as you have in mine. I wish you all the best in all the places you go and I love you very much Sophie Yew. Much love,
Erin

Bye bye, Erin. We miss you already :(

Remembering when...

The thing about having to purge your house for a big move is that you unearth things you don't even remember you had kept away. Like Sophie's club foot casts.

Sophie's casts from when she was 10 days old to 7 weeks

It doesn't seem like that long time ago when we were taking her to the hospital every week to get her leg cast and how unnerving it was to contemplate the possibility that she might never have normal use of her left foot. And now, every time she annoys us by running away faster than we can catch up or when she heedlessly climbs up the play structure without us close by, I have to remind myself what a gift that actually is.

Sophie still wears her Markell shoes to sleep at night, just as she has every night for the last 2.5 years. At this point, she knows nothing else and probably thinks every child goes to sleep with a pair of shoes connected by a bar in between. She is starting to protest a little-- just because they sometimes get in the way of her getting comfortable in bed-- but we're going to try to persevere and keep her in them till she's four. Our pediatric orthopedics doctor gave us some references to specialists in Singapore who can take over supervising Sophie's progress and thankfully, they're at the university hospital and so close to us.

Markell shoes then and now

We just absolutely have no space to bring all her casts or shoes back to Singapore with us, but we are going to keep the first ones. They'll make for good show-and-tell items when the time comes.

See photos of Sophie's club foot treatment here.

Chronicling The Move

We're leaving Ann Arbor in just under a month. And we've arranged for the movers to pack and load the week before that. Which means every waking non-work, non-Sophie moment has been spent purging, packing, recycling, throwing, and donating. Having gotten rid of all the clothes we won't be taking with us, our next task was to tackle our books and papers. Between the two of us, Jude and I have clocked in 120 credit hours of coursework for our doctoral degrees, two prelim exams, and two dissertations. That's a lot of lecture notes, data printouts, assignments, journal articles, books, and copied book chapters. Oh and drafts of our dissertations. You should have seen the boxes of books we're setting aside to donate to Jude's school. Every year, they hold a book drive to raise funds for Alternative Spring Break (ASB). Basically, next year's ASB will pretty much be underwritten by us and our friend, Eric whose family is moving to Dublin in a few weeks too. And ever wondered how many trees two doctoral degrees kills? This is Cart 1 of two full shopping carts we had to take the the recycling bin.

I'm taking pictures of our house as we slowly (ok, maybe not so slowly) empty it out. These were taken before Jude and I got started this past weekend, so exactly a month before we leave:

Living room

Sophie's room/ Office

Basement

As you can tell, we've got our work cut out for us. We've actually already made quite some progress since-- closets have been trimmed of clothes we won't be taking with us, books have been packed away, and the filing cabinet in our monstrosity of a basement is now nothing but hanging folders. We'll be doing more everyday so watch this space for updates.

The First Purge

Nine bags of clothes off to the Salvation Army

You wouldn't think that packing up and giving away nine bags of clothes would be hard. But it was. Part of it was plain depressing, looking at the clothes and thinking, "Man... I used to fit into these?" Then there was a little bit of wistfulness, "Oh, I remember where I got those pants...". And of course some relief (particularly with some ratty thermal long johns), "Well, we're not going to you in Singapore."

Since we're going to need to purge before we actually start packing, we foresee many more trips to the Salvation Army and Kiwanis in our future. Clothes are one thing- thinking about furniture and kitchenware is something else. Oh, and did I mention we have a basement? A basement which has always been so useful but has now become a source of trepidation precisely because it has always been so useful. It was a place we would stow away things we didn't want to have to think about (camping gear, Sophie's "too-small" clothes, Sophie's "too-big" clothes, off-season shoes and coats, boxes and boxes and boxes which contain things I don't even remember owning anymore...)

We have about 5 weeks. Let's see this whole packing/moving business drive me completely batty.

Home

After almost a decade away, we are returning to Singapore.

It was not an easy or uncomplicated decision to make but it has been the perfect storm of factors and we think this is the right thing to do for now. Jude has been made a very generous job offer that we couldn't turn down and the research prospects in Singapore appear much more promising for me than they are here in the U.S. More importantly, when we asked Sophie if she'd rather stay in Ann Arbor or go back to Singapore, she batted nary an eyelid and replied, "I want to go to Singapore." I think she has very fond and vivid memories of when we were home over Christmas and is really looking forward to reliving them again. She talks about her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, and all the things she remembers seeing and doing- she's ready to leave right now if we'd let her :) I doubt she understands the magnitude or permanence of this move but she's happy about the prospect and I guess that's more than we can ask of her right now. And of course, there's our families, who couldn't be more ecstatic about our decision. The happy vibes that were jumping right out of Skype when we broke the news to them could probably generate enough electricity to power a small country :)

We're going to miss Ann Arbor in so many ways- this is after all where Jude and I shared our first home, bought our first car, started and completed grad school, and had our child. And where Sophie is concerned, Ann Arbor has given her just about the most blessed childhood we could have asked for her. It has given her great caregivers and friends, taught her about seasons, and inculcated in her a love for and curiosity about nature and the great outdoors. Ann Arbor made it possible for us to expose her to the array of intellectually and culturally-rich experiences that have shaped her early years. Singapore will do the same as she moves past toddlerhood, but in different ways, and it'll be quite the adventure for all of us.

We recognize that we'll be going home with some degree of privilege-- not of money or status-- but of experience. The last nine years here has influenced us tremendously in the way we now think, behave, and make decisions. And we want to use that experience to do good. To be good. That is what makes me hopeful about this next stage of our lives- that by going home, we can be of greater service than if we stayed here, that we can better contribute to something larger than ourselves, put something out into the ether that was not there before us.

But for now, there are more modest concerns that occupy us- purging and packing up the house, figuring out the details of the move, and dealing with mundane things like car payments, loans, credit cards, etc. Basically, we're slowly erasing the traces of our life here in the U.S. and re-carving one in Singapore.

See you in August, Singapore.

Sunset at MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore