Growing up

When people who haven't seen Sophie in a while tell me how much she's grown, I always say I can't tell. Because I really can't. I guess it's hard when you're caught up in the everyday minutiae of parenting to be conscious of how much growing your child is actually doing- how much taller, stronger, how many more words, new skills and abilities. In fact, until a couple of days ago when Sophie was laughing so hard that I could actually see into the insides of her mouth, I hadn't realized that her last molars have almost completely popped out.

Then last night, I happened upon a photo taken of Sophie in January of 2011 and I was struck by what I saw.

Sophie 2011

Sophie 2012

In the photo on the top, Sophie still had her soft, short, untouched baby hair. In fact, it wouldn't be for another five months before she would get her hair cut for the first time. And even though she already had most of her front teeth, her incisors were still growing out.

Of course, in the photo on the bottom, which was taken just last weekend, I see such a different girl. There is a new maturity and strength behind her eyes, and her features are looking more and more like the features of an adult. You can almost see how she'd look like as a grown-up. Her fast growing hair needs to be brushed every morning and held back with either a hair clip or a rubber band.

You've done so much good growing this last year Sophie- Mama and Dada can't wait to see how much more you'll do come the rest of your life...

In lieu of a hug

As someone who's been in school for close to 23 years, I'd like to think that I know a thing or two about taking exams, and surviving them. And throughout my entire academic career, I've always considered the 'A' levels to be the hardest thing I ever had to do, the Ph.D. included. Writing the dissertation was a breeze compared to the months of studying, the excruciating build-up, and finally the grueling weeks of the actual 'A' levels exams themselves. It is not an experience I'd ever want to go through again and something I would never wish on even my worse enemy.

But having said that, it is (unfortunately) a critical aspect of many young Singaporeans' life, my baby sister non exempt. And yesterday, she demonstrated what it means to not just rock the exam, but how to take it to town and show it who's boss. She experienced one of the hardest things a Singaporean student has to undergo and did it with grit, gumption, and grace, and emerged with grades that surpassed even her own expectations of herself. Everyone in the family would have been proud of her regardless of how she did, but her stellar performance (and more importantly, what it represents-- all the hard work, sacrifices, and prayers) is just what she needs right now as she stands on the cusp of the rest of her life. So many more doors are now open with so many more possibilities, and all those hypothetical "maybe"s now replaced by attainable "whether"s.

Sam- you are AWESOME. And we are so very very very proud! This is your moment- embrace it. Own it.

Sam and I sharing a moment when the family visited in Christmas 2010

Weekend

So I found myself-- last night-- torn between: 1) watching the Oscars (which ended up being a bit of a snooze fest- not the most exciting ceremony I've seen since I started watching almost 20 years ago now) and 2) baking a cake for Sophie for breakfast. Yes, that's the kind of mother I am, the kind who feeds her toddler dessert at 8.00 in the morning. Well, if your toddler had pooped in the potty the night before (to much fanfare, no less), you would be baking up a buffet of treats too :)

Chocolate cake for breakfast, as promised

Yup- so it would seem that it wasn't a fluke after all- Sophie had her first (almost) diaper-free weekend, and I'm happy to say that it went really well. We did everything we'd normally do-- went to the library, ran errands, sledded, did a Target run-- all without diapers and happily, there were no accidents. The whole constantly asking if she needed to potty thing took some getting used to but after a while, we learned to trust her to tell us when she needs to go. She still wears her diapers during nap and bedtime and we're still working on her going diaper-free at daycare, but it's nice to know she's on her way.

To add to an already exciting weekend, we also decided to introduce Sophie to the wonderful world of chopsticks. She's always curious when she watches us eat with them and since she was feeling so proud of herself for accomplishing so much this weekend, we thought to just throw something else into the mix. We had bought a pair of training chopsticks from Singapore and I have to say, these are rather well designed. There's a training bridge to help the child hold the chopsticks properly by using the thumb and eventually, when he/she is ready, you can then remove the support. I actually don't think either Jude or I hold chopsticks "properly"- my grandma used to tell me off when I was a kid. Hopefully, Sophie will have better chopstick manners, although looking at her first attempt, I'm not holding my breath (not in the near future anyway...)

[Watch how by the end, she settles on a more efficient means of delivering food into her mouth. Nothing-- eating implements included-- must get in between Sophie Yew and her food :)]

Little victories

Jude is convinced that Sophie has actually been holding out on us with this potty training business and that this whole time, she's just been waiting until a reasonable reward presented itself. Which in this case appears to be... Haribo peach-flavored gummies.

SO (drumroll please...)- this evening, as we were all just lounging around the house, Sophie declares that she needs to go sit on her potty. We haven't had much success since the last time we made a concerted effort to "train" her, but since then, every time she says she wants/needs to, we put her on the potty even though she almost never actually pees in it.

But then this evening, we heard it.

The undeniable trickle of pee in the potty.

A glorious sound, the first time your child voluntarily and consciously pees in the potty. A sound that should be accompanied by a heavenly choir, by angels trumpeting.

Hallelujah.

I look at her and she peers back at me in amazement. Her face blooms with a wide adorable smile and she beams with pride.

"I peed in the potty! I peed in the potty, Mama! Listen, my pee is so noisy!" she shouts.

So I think our reaction was a little over the top for a successful pee attempt but basically, we celebrated-  two-gold stars! the Potty Dance! hugs all round! kisses! applause! and most importantly, CANDY!!! If we could, we would have declared tomorrow a public holiday! (although I suspect the snow storm we're having right now might take care of that)

And then, she goes on to do it two more times! Each time, she just told us that she needed to go and she did :) I almost had to slap myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming this all up...

Granted, I wouldn't say that she's entirely potty trained-- it was just tonight and we still have some ways to go-- but after the semi-fiasco that was our last attempt, I'll take any small victory. At least we now know she recognizes what the sensation feels like and can tell us before it needs to happen.

Still, this just reminds me once again that maybe I really should just trust our daughter more when it comes to these milestones, and that when she's good and ready, she'll reach them just fine. I was convinced she would NEVER roll over, walk, drink out of a sippy cup, or sleep through the night, and she's now gone and done all those things and more. When we dedicated an entire weekend to potty-training her, that sort of fell apart; but when we pulled back a little and gave her some space, she came to it when her little wonderful, precious, amazing mind decided it was time.

Old friends, new favorites

I love watching Sophie discover new books, that rapt wonder on her face as we're reading to her, her bubbling giggles when something funny comes up, and her ernest pleading for us to read the book again and again, and again (sometimes on the same night). And even better than that, I love discovering these new books with her, especially books from authors we've already come to love dearly, like this family's favorites, Eric Carle and Mo Willems.

Every child I know owns one copy (if not more) of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and we are no exception. But Sophie also loves The Very Busy Spider, 10 Little Rubber Ducks, and From Head to Toe. So imagine her delight when we picked up another Eric Carle book from the library this weekend. Mister Seahorse is gorgeously illustrated (as one would expect from Mr. Carle) and a "hide and seek" feature with acetate overlays adds that extra something that Sophie really enjoys. It's also the perfect book for her because of her particular obsession with all sea creatures- who knew a two-year-old could get so excited by tilapia and kurtus? More importantly though, Jude and I like it because it's so rare to find good books about dads and fathering. With so many books out there about mothers' love, it's been nice to spend some time (or in the case of tonight, three readings of the book back-to-back) talking about the role of daddies in taking care of babies. It doesn't hurt, of course, that the book is helping Sophie learn a little more about fish reproduction and care-giving... :)

Another current favorite from an old friend is Mo Willems' I Broke My Trunk. We are huge fans of Willems' Knuffle Bunny and Pigeon books, but we've only just recently discovered the Elephant and Piggie books. And I Broke My Trunk is a particular delight. Jude and I actually fight to see who gets to read it out loud because it is HILARIOUS. It doesn't matter how many times we've read it, all three of us laugh uncontrollably every. single. time. In his customary spare prose and expressive illustrations, Willems' has created a wonderfully sweet and silly story about Piggie, her best friend, Gerald, and the "crazy long story" about how Gerald broke his trunk. Sophie has already committed parts of the story to memory and will "read" it to us while laughing uproariously at the same time. In her words, "Is Mo Willems silly, Mama? He so funny! Hahahahahaha..."

Such a chore

One of the things that's really important to Jude and I is that Sophie learns to help out around the house. With both of us working full-time, chores are pretty much left to nights and weekends and we've decided that we should slowly involve Sophie in small ways. She already knows to clean up her toys after she's done and to return her books to the shelf. It doesn't always get done efficiently or gets done every time we ask her, but when we show that we're helping her in some way, she'll almost always do her own little part.

Lately, she's become really interested in helping out in the kitchen- maybe it's because we baked bread together last weekend or the fact that she's been playing with the toy kitchen in her play yard for months. Whatever the case may be, when I asked if she wanted to help me with dinner last night, she was so enthused, you'd think I had asked her if she wanted to go to the circus! And so I set a tray of asparagus on the floor and taught her how to snap them at their ends to trim off the hard inedible stalks. It took only a few tries before she became a pro.

My happy sous chef

Sophie's also been helping us with the laundry-- transferring the wet clothes into the dryer and emptying the dry clothes into the laundry basket-- and she absolutely loves it :) I think a lot of it has to do with being allowed in the basement, which for the longest time has been The Place Into Which You Shall Not Descend, so there's that element of mystery and excitement. But I also think that Sophie genuinely enjoys doing these chores because it makes her feel valued and important. We always pile on the praise when she does her part and tell her what a good job she's done. We've also been using her potty training chart as a general chore chart so every time she does a task well-- like puts her books away or helps with the laundry-- we give her a gold star :)

We're still working on small chores so no folding laundry (too tricky) or any actually cleaning (too daunting) any time soon. It's not like we're depending on Sophie to get housework done but it's a good start. She's learning what it's like to be part of a team — in this case, family — that relies on and values her contributions and hopefully, she'll pick up some good habits along the way too :)

We made bread

It started out with wanting to do some kind of Valentine's Day project with Sophie. Jude was going to be away for most of the weekend at a workshop on campus so I thought it would be kind of fun for us to make something that we could then share with him when he was done on Sunday. And of course, being who I am, all the different ideas invariably involved food of some sort. But I didn't want to make candy or chocolate since Sophie can't have most of the ingredients. Then I chanced upon this recipe from the New York Times for No-Knead Bread. Sophie loves bread and I couldn't think of anything more perfectly soulful and heartwarming than baking our own bread for Valentine's Day :)

I've actually never made bread-- something about the whole intricate measuring and complicated kneading intimidated me (and still does, to some degree). But this recipe is brilliant and so fuss-free and easy, a two-year can do it... And so ours did (with some help, of course).

I let Sophie mix all the ingredients together on Saturday:

In goes the yeast and salt

Mixing like a champion

I told her we had to wait a day for the dough to rise before we could bake it and she insisted on watching the rising in action. She stared at the bowl for five intense minutes. It was very cute :)

The next day, I folded the risen dough on itself (which took all of ten seconds- I'm not kidding), let it rise one more time under a kitchen towel, then literally threw it into a heated Dutch oven, and into the oven. And the results: thin, crunchy brown crust, large, open holes. The bread is slightly chewy, flavorful and with absolutely perfect texture.

Quite a thing of beauty

When it came out of the oven, Sophie wanted to cut into it immediately. She was so adorably excited about the bread that "she" had made, she could barely sit or stand still in her play yard as she waited for it to cool. And when I did cut into it, I knew without tasting it that Sophie and I had made a delicious loaf of bread-  the snap and crunch of the crust gave way to tender, spongy body. We sat together at the table, my hands still with traces of flour, and had a wonderful moment of just enjoying the bread that we made together. I had bought some good butter in anticipation of our homemade bread and slathered my slices with it. Perfection. Sophie-- the bread fiend-- had three thick slices. One after another, she asked for more. Plain and unadorned, just as it was. "My bread is delicious, Mama. It's so fluffy!" she declared happily.

So there- Valentine's Day weekend and my daughter and I baked together for the first time. And it was great :)

Our little bread fiend on her third slice of bread

Duck tales

This morning , as we were driving across Huron River/Gallup Park where we were at last week, Sophie noticed that the river is now frozen. Which then motivated this conversation:

Sophie: Mama, look- the river is frozen!
Me: Yes it is Sophie. Because it's really cold.
Sophie: Where did the ducks go?
Me: Where do you think they went? Do you think they're still in the river?
Sophie: No, it's too cold for them. They went somewhere where it's warmer.
Me: That's right. Maybe somewhere down south.

(after a couple of minutes of silence...)

Sophie: Our car is warmer. The ducks can fly here. One duck can sit here, and one can sit in front with you. And one duck can sit on Dada's lap. And one can sit here with me. Ok? That's a very special idea I think.

Feeding the ducks, geese, and swans last week

So tight

At Gallup Park last weekend

[As I was putting her to bed tonight]

Sophie: Mama, do you love me?
Me: Of course I do, silly goose.
Sophie: How much?
Me: Mama loves you very very much. How much do you love me?
Sophie: So tight. So so tight...

I can't read!

As I was getting ready the other morning, I asked Sophie to pick a book to read while she waited for me. These days, this is our go-to thing for her to do whenever we need a small window of time to do something. She's always more than happy to spend time with her books and is usually happy looking through the pictures by herself. But that day, after a couple of minutes, she got upset and almost started to cry, and then she whined-- almost helplessly-- "I can't read the words, Mama. I can't read the words!"

I wasn't quite sure what to do or say- I was pleasantly surprised at her self-awareness and understanding of what it means to read (i.e. we read the words and not just the pictures) and sort of amused at how genuinely sad she was that she can't make out the words. So I asked if she wanted to learn how to read the letters and words and she nodded. And so begins Project Read in our house :)

Jude and I are both big readers and we've read to Sophie constantly since the day she was born. As a result, she really loves her books. And I'm not just saying that in a "I have to tell people this so they'll think I'm a good parent" way- Sophie honestly adores her books and loves to read (there have been times when she'd rather read than eat). And for that, I'm thankful. If I could choose one trait of mine that she would take with her to adulthood it would be this one. You cannot overestimate how a love for reading can change a life.

[Click for more photos of Sophie with her books]

1. Reading on the way to Costco, 2. Reading at Target, 3. At the orthotics clinic, 4. Early morning book with Grandpa, 5. Child-sized chintz reading armchair!, 6. Open flap, 7. Spending the morning with books from the library, 8. At Barnes and Noble, 9. I can read a book that's bigger than my face!

Sounds of laughter, shades of life

Sometimes, I look at Sophie and I think, I can't possibly love this child anymore than I do right now.

And then, the next moment I realize, I can.



We will laugh together like this until I'm an old, old woman.

Who says you can't have fun when it's snowing out?

Unless it's extremely frigid out or if the snow is coming down too hard, Sophie spends some time outside everyday, even in the winter. That's what she does at daycare and that's what we do over the weekends as well. She just needs the fresh air and runabout time, even if it's cold. We tell her she can't be outside too long and she needs to wear her hat and gloves if she wants to go out (optional pieces of winter gear for our child if given a choice...) We got her new winter boots this year so she's been relishing stomping in the snow and slush- something she enjoys doing even more than sledding.

Tea party with Dodo and Tess

So this past weekend, after a rather delightful (if gastronomically eclectic) tea party where all present (including Jude and I) had the pleasure of being served "toast" with a side of "onions", "fish", "mushroom" and "candy", we bundled the munchkin up and headed outside.

1. Kiss break on the way up the climber, 2. Swing, 3. Ice at the end of the slide, 4. Letting the sensation set in :)

I sometimes wonder if it's worth the trouble for everyone to layer up the winter clothes just for 20 minutes outside; and then I see how much fun Sophie has and how much she savors every second of that time, and I remember why we do it each and every time :)

Ode to our slow cooker

How do working parents who arrive home at 5.45pm every evening get dinner on the table by 6.30pm? No, not take out. Or delivery pizza. Or make everyone eat crackers, cheese, and salad. I'm talking a hot, home-cooked, healthy, and delicious meal.

Answer: the slow cooker. It rocks. Really. It truly has been the best kitchen purchase we've made since... oh I don't know... our microwave? Jude got ours for my birthday last year and since then, we've made everything from congee to carnitas. I love the fact that I can just turn it on in the morning and almost like magic, 9 hours later, we return to a house that smells as if someone had been slogging in the kitchen all day. It's especially comforting during these winter months when all you want when you get home is something hearty and warm.

Most slow cooker recipes require some element of prep- some chopping, searing, seasoning, etc., and so what I do is get everything ready the night before, throw the ingredients into the slow cooker insert, and put it in the fridge. And then in the morning, as I'm waiting for my coffee to brew, I add the liquids (if they're called for), or simply put the insert back in and turn the cooker on. Voila! I've even put frozen meat in there and it still manages to turn our wonderfully tender by the end of the day.

It helps that our particular slow cooker insert is made of stainless steel and goes on the stove top so I can sear and sauté first and then move the whole insert into the slow cooker- no need for a separate pan for the pre-cooking. And then when we come home in the evening, all I have to do is to make some kind of starch (rice/pasta/potato) and/or veggie and we're all set for dinner, like last week when we made BBQ baby-back ribs. I followed the suggestions of the reviewers and made some adjustments and it turned out beautifully. All it needed was a salad and some sweet potato fries, and we had a $50 meal on the table for a fraction of that price. Sophie would not touch the meat but she was more than happy with the fries and some chicken I quickly cooked up for her.

We may never eats ribs outside again.

Some of our favorite slow cooker recipes:
Beef, leek, and barley soup (adapted for slow cooker)
Bean and kale soup with ham
Chicken congee
Whole "roasted" chicken (yes, you can cook a whole chicken in the slow cooker!)
Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic
Teriyaki chicken (made with store-bought teriyaki sauce)
Beef stew
Sausage lentil soup
Bolognese sauce (a.k.a. dinner tonight)

恭喜恭喜 everybody!

Sophie wishes everyone a happy lunar new year from frosty Ann Arbor! She may not have any idea what she's missing, but her Mama and Dada sure are missing those pineapple tarts and kueh bangkits!

Everyone goes potty

So about our potty training weekend...

I don't think it was a complete failure-- Sophie actually did manage to pee in the potty a few times (see star sticker chart below), but I think it was more out of attrition-- we made her sit on the potty with a book for about 15 minutes-- than her actually telling us she needed to pee.

Five stickers- that's the total number of times Sophie
went to the potty all weekend. It's a work in progress...

Intellectually, she knows she should poop and pee in the potty- she can say to us over and over- "When I need to go potty, I have to tell Mama and Dada." or "When I need to go potty, I run to the potty NOW!"; but physically, I think she's a little afraid to do it without the security of the diaper. In fact, there were a few instances when she told us that her bottom was hurting because I think she was holding it all in.

We used all manner of bribes-- snacks, juice, videos and even threats-- no snacks, no juice, no videos, and that worked to varying degrees of effectiveness. But I think the most resonant (though not yet successful) incentive is the prospect of preschool. Sophie is constantly fascinated by the preschool classroom next to hers. The kids are only a year older but to Sophie, it's like a whole other world, and she talks about the preschoolers and what they do with the kind of awe and reverence usually reserved for deities or Thomas the Tank Engine. And so we've been telling her that until she's potty-trained, she can't go to preschool (which is only a partial white lie- she still can, but the daycare won't provide the diapers like they do now- we'd have to do it).

In the end though, it was not to be. She had a couple of accidents which made her cry (which I guess is a good thing coz that means she knows she wasn't supposed to do what she did), she developed a fever that just wouldn't go away, and on Monday, woke up with a bad case of hives. For a moment there, I was convinced she was experiencing some potty-training post-traumatic stress disorder, and I felt horrible. But then it turned out that it was a virus of some sort that went just as soon as it came.

So we're going to try again in a couple of weeks and told ourselves we're not going to be too stressed about it this time. I think a bit of our anxiety might have rubbed off on her over the weekend and the last thing I want is to have her associate going to the potty with something negative. In the meantime, we got her a bunch of books about the potty (see here and here) which have been heartily received. I don't know why I didn't think about this sooner- we only just got the books yesterday and we've already read them at least four times each. Because we've read them so many times plus they're fairly simple (I mean, there's only one message), Sophie's got parts of the books memorized and is able to relate the narrative to us. Let's just hope that translates into action when we try this whole thing again next time.

How was your weekend?

Potty training #FAIL

This pretty much sums up ours, together with Sophie running a 103F (39C) temperature, her body riddled with inexplicable hives, night wakings for everyone, and tantrums all round (yes, the grown ups included).

So yeah, exciting stuff.

With great power comes great responsibility

Last night, as Jude stood in front of our coat closet looking in vain for a hanger to hang his winter coat:

Sophie: Dada, do you need some help?
Jude: Thank you, Sophie but it's okay.
Sophie: I can help you, Dada. I have super-powers in my ponytail.
Jude: It's alright, Sophie.
Sophie: Tell me! Tell me! I can help you.
Jude: Okay- can you help me find a hanger to hang my coat?
Sophie: Oh. I cannot help you. [walks away]

Even superheroes have their limits...

Random daycare daily report #22

One of our favorite photos of Sophie during our trip

Sophie is still so proud of her trip to Singapore. Today, a parent was saying to Lucy, "Lucy, you're a big sister now?" and Sophie came running over and saying, "I went to Singapore!" Also, all of her friends take pretend trips to Singapore together. I even heard someone say they wanted to play "Singapore" today. What a sensation our little jet-setter has started! :)

Incidentally, yesterday, as we were picking Sophie up, one of her classmates' mom said to us, "Payton's been wanting to take a helicopter to Singapore. We've had to explain to her that we're probably not going to take a trip to Singapore any time soon..."

Sophie loves books

One of the last things we did before leaving for Singapore last year was put together Sophie's new bookshelf in her room. Until then, she had one bookshelf in our living room downstairs and a whole bunch of books we read at bedtime stacked (ok, strewn) on the futon in her room. We decided it was time to tidy up her room now that she's getting older and more in need of her own space and so when I saw this display bookcase on sale online, I grabbed it without thinking twice. And I have to say, it's been great. Even the books on the highest tier are within Sophie's reach and she can see all the book covers at a glance, which allows her to pick the books she wants with ease. We rotate some of the books with those downstairs so there's always a new variety for our bedtime reading, but there's also a core set of favorites we always seem to revisit every now and then (the original Madeline and Harold and the Purple Crayon have more or less never left her room).

And so these days, our bedtime routine pretty much unfolds like this:
7:30- Finish up whatever we're doing downstairs-- reading/ playing/ post-dinner fruit/ post-dinner TV treat-- and get ready for bath time.
7:45- Bath.
8:00- Get Sophie dressed in her jammies while listening to either The Muppets or the Sesame Street channel on Pandora. Sometimes, she'll ask for some milk during this time.
8:15- She picks three books from her shelf that we bring to the futon with us to read. Often, she even has a specific order in which she would like them read.
8:40- We're usually done with books by this time but she'll almost always start whining and ask for one more. Depending on how long Book #4 is, I may or may not give in (I Want My Hat Back- yes; Owl Moon- no).
8:45 (at the latest)- We snuggle for a bit, put her in her crib, and say goodnight. She's been asking us to leave the door open as we walk out- I think it's just so she can hear us as we jostle about downstairs. It probably lulls her to sleep.

I love that Sophie enjoys reading so much- she'll pretty much give up anything to listen to a story or look at a book. Even breakfast...

Madeline's Rescue at breakfast this morning

Random daycare daily report #21

Sophie with Erin on her first day of daycare almost two years ago

Sometimes, Sophie just melts my heart. I returned from my lunch break today and Sophie yelled, "Erin's back!" like she hadn't seen me in months :) Then Sophie came up to me and said, "We love you so much, Erin." What a great feeling! I must say, the feeling is mutual too :)

What did you do in Singapore?

In the car on the way home from daycare:

Me: So Sophie, can you remember what you did in Singapore?

Sophie: Err... I play with Yiyi Sam. And Uncle Sam. 

Me: And what else?

Sophie: I smoochy kiss Baby Julianne so she won't cry anymore. 

Me: That was nice of you, right?

Sophie: Yah. Baby Julianne is so tiny. She needs a floatie. Like Sophie.

Me: When you go swimming?

Sophie: Yes, I have a Shamu floatie. 

Me: What else did you do in Singapore?

Sophie: I eat SO MUCH  tau sar pau and I see the Merlion.

Me: What was the Merlion doing?

Sophie: Spitting water from his mouth. Are you supposed to do that?

Me: Are you supposed to do that?

Sophie: No. You cannot do that. I was 'fraid of the Merlion. But Gong Gong protect me.

Me: Do you like Singapore, Sophie?

Sophie: Yah. We stay in Singapore tomorrow ok? We take the airplane and go to Gong Gong's house tomorrow. That's a good plan.

First family photo of 2012, last family photo of our holiday

The last 10 hours

1) Arrived in Ann Arbor after a fairly eventless flight although we did have one meltdown on the Tokyo-Detroit leg (which involved fellow passengers and one flight attendant actually offering us assistance. Thanks for asking- yes, our daughter does scream like a Tasmanian devil on steroids when she's throwing a tantrum, no, she's not having a seizure-- that's how she wails-- and no, a glass of milk isn't going to make it better...)

2) Was welcomed by a light dusting of snow, a forty degree Centigrade difference in temperature, and a 40% dip in humidity levels.

3) Made a quick instant noodle lunch for Jude and I and some oatmeal for Sophie. For the last 30 hours, with the exception of a bowl of udon at the Narita airport, Sophie only ate toast, pretzel sticks, her new favorite fishball crackers that we had packed from Singapore, and some fruit from her otherwise untouched airline meals. Jude and I weren't that lucky- we actually ate our airline meals.

4) Watched as Sophie reunited with her play yard and all her toys in there like family reuniting after years of being separated by the Berlin Wall or the Korean straits. I really think that was the only thing keeping her from giving in to the exhaustion and falling asleep at 4.00 in the afternoon.

5) Took our first showers in 36 hours.

6) Restocked our empty refrigerator with a Trader Joe's run. We gave Sophie her own kiddie cart and license to pick 5 things to put in it- another attempt to keep her up and awake until a reasonable bedtime. She chose bananas, dried cranberries, dried stuffed ravioli (even though she can't eat it), a bag of onions, and a jar of bruschetta spread (don't ask... it was at her eye-level. She also claimed she needed it.)

7) Put together dinner in a semi-haze- veggie and miso soup with pasta for Sophie (I had made a big pot of it before we left for Singapore and portioned it into freezable bags) and take-out BBQ for Jude and I.

8) Watched as Jude fell asleep in the middle of reading Sophie her bedtime story. Before 7.00pm.

9) Watched as Sophie fell asleep before she could even realize that her Dada had fallen asleep reading her her bedtime story.

10) Fell asleep myself after 8) and 9).

New Years Interview 2012

Here's my project to take a New Years Interview video of Sophie every year to be able to watch and remember her at each age. I think it'll be pretty neat to hear how her voice-- and her answers to the questions-- change over the years :)

So, as of 1 January, 2012:

Favorite book: Meet the Muppets (a spin-off of the movie, and a book that I've been reading at bedtime every night since we bought it two weeks ago)
Favorite color: green or purple
Favorite place: Singapore/ dinosaur museum
Favorite food: cantaloupe
Favorite drink: apple juice
Favorite toy: rubber duckie

Happy New Year everyone!

My Top 5 memories of 2011

5) Starting a new job that I really enjoy:



4) Jude successfully defending his dissertation!



3) Sophie turned 2 in August:



2) We welcomed my beautiful niece, Julianne, into our world :) Such joy!



1) Spending Christmas at home, surrounded by family, basking in much love :)



Farewell, 2011...

Little chums

Sophie's always been sort of a parallel play sort of kid- we'll have play dates with friends and for the most part, she'll be playing along side other children but not really with them. We're not really worried- her teachers tell us that most of the toddlers in her class do the same and it's a developmental thing that she'll outgrow soon enough.

So it was really nice when we found Sophie playing wonderfully with her little friend, Sean, at a play date today. Sean is my brother-in-law's nephew and just a week younger than Sophie. We had a little meet-cute for them the last time we were home but back then, it was more an excuse for the grown-ups to have a popiah party... :) This time though, they were old enough to actually interact with each other and it was such a joy to watch them together! Maybe it's because we had prepared Sophie for the play date beforehand (she actually woke up in the morning reminding us that Sean was coming even though she has no memory of who he is...) but there were no meltdowns, no possessive grabbing of toys, lots of good sharing, and tons of happy squealing and chasing around the house and garden. Basically, loads of fun was had all round. It definitely helped that Sean is such a sweet boy with such a gentle disposition- every time Sophie was out of his sight, he would call out "Sophie!..." or jie jie ("big sister" in Chinese, which was what his mom asked him to call Sophie). On her part, Sophie would happily call out, "Sean! Oh... Sean!"

Here's to more play dates with Sean every time we come back- he seems to bring out the best in Sophie!

Cousins

I grew up being really close to my cousins on both my paternal and maternal sides. In fact, we remain close till today and one of the joys of coming home is hanging out with all of them again. Sophie has no idea what or who cousins are yet-- I think the whole concept of family is something she's only beginning to grasp. But in the past two weeks, she's spent some time with both sets of cousins and if nothing else, she has developed a real affection for them and enjoys their company a whole lot. On my side, she's become really fond of showering Julianne with smoochy kisses whenever she can and gets really concerned when Julianne starts to cry ("Why is Baby Julianne crying, Mama?"). She also likes watching my sister and brother-in-law give Julianne her baths, which is really quite sweet.

On Jude's side, even though she's technically met Amelia and Aiden once before when we came back two years ago, it wasn't until Christmas that she really got to interact with them properly-- playing with playdoh together, attacking the Christmas piñata with gusto, and hitting the playground with equal relish. They even had a blast at the beach together yesterday, where Amelia schooled Sophie on the finer points of sandcastle architecture while Aiden modeled the proper way to enjoy the seawater splashing about you...

Being so far away-- at least for now-- may mean that Sophie won't get to play with her cousins as much as her Mama did with hers; but I'd like to think that familial ties are stronger than geography. I love my cousins dearly and-- if she doesn't already-- as she grows older, I want to believe that Sophie will love hers too.

I miss her so much...

This hasn't been an easy post to type. I started three times and had to stop each time because my eyes just kept welling up. Not being in Singapore when my grandmother passed away will always be one of the saddest moments of my life. She was peaceful at her deathbed, I am told; and for that, I am grateful. But it didn't make visiting her grave any easier.

It was important to both Jude and I that Sophie was with us. She obviously didn't grasp the gravity of where we were and what we were doing, but I think she understood that we were there to visit my Por Por (what she calls my mom) and was uncharacteristically quiet as she laid the flowers at my grandma's grave. She doesn't remember meeting her exactly two years before of course, but she'll have pictures. And my memories.

26th December 2009

26th December 2011

How do you take a Christmas family photo?

1) Negotiate the terms of agreement with a tantrumming two-year-old (I believe it was a bowl of udon soup in exchange for getting up for the family photo)



2) Mill about while everyone gets their act together (a.k.a our Modern Family moment)



3) Make the best of the slightly blurry but otherwise really festive seventh take:



Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

It doesn't matter what the climate

A beach is a beach whether it's almost freezing cold in Saugatuck, Michigan or tropical humidity in Changi Point, Singapore...

For picking up sand and shells

For playing with sticks

And for pictures with Mama...

Ode to Parkway

It had been the one unchangeable I could always count on, the one shopping mall I've always been able to find my way around virtually blindfolded since I was allowed to visit it by myself when I was twelve. But I guess two years is a long time to be away and in my absence, my beloved Parkway Parade has finally succumbed to the metamorphosis that seems to have beset so many familiar locales around the island. Having lived in the East of the island all my life, this shopping center has always had a special place in my heart, even with the fancier, shinier, brighter malls sprouting up in the city. In its own modest way, it had (well, still has, I guess) everything I need in a mall-- sundries, groceries, food, shopping, and services like my optician and watch repairman.

And having spent so much time there these past twenty some years, I knew exactly where everything was- every shop, how most of the owners and vendors looked like, even how competitors' prices matched up (particularly amongst the mall's many optical shops). So imagine my utter discombobulation when Jude and I popped by for what I thought was going to be an easy (and quick) errand trip. Armed with a list of things to buy and Sophie happily napping at my parents', I was certain I could get everything I needed within the two hours of Sophie's nap. In fact, I was convinced that if we were strategic enough in our shopping, we might even be able to do it all in under an hour, with time leftover for coffee and a snack. Clearly, I didn't factor in 1) the Christmas shopping crowd; 2) the many makeshift shopping carts that have sprung up in every available space all over the mall; 3) an expanded basement food court that I had to meander through just to get to the elevators; and 4) all the shops that have newly opened, expanded, shrunk, moved, changed names, or closed down. It actually made me feel a little sad-- disappointed almost-- like having an old friend change on you... In the end, we did manage to get our shopping done, but in two hours instead of one. There was coffee-- but to go-- and no time for a snack.

Five years ago, I blogged about something similar; five years later, I pretty much still feel the same way. Like I told Jude as we sat in an inexplicable traffic jam in the middle of the day along Orchard Road last week, every generation of Singaporeans has-- and will-- grow old in a Singapore that is nothing like the Singapore in which we grew up.

Christmas isn't Christmas till

This.

Now that, is what you call a Christmas tree

And we're baaaack!

In the end, the journey was more forgiving than anticipated- there were a couple of sort-of meltdowns, but they were mostly because Sophie was just really tired from her sleep schedule getting messed up. She did really well on the flights, mostly because we were *very* liberal with the whole watching videos on the iPad thing- basically, for 18 hours, we allowed our toddler's brain to turn into Kipper mush. Oh, and consider this my public service announcement to our vegetarian/vegan friends out there who are going to fly Delta in the future- because I love you, I'm just going to tell you right now to stock up on whatever you can get at the airport to sustain you throughout your flight, because you're not going to get anything (sustenance, nutrition, flavor) from the vegetarian meal option. The only things Sophie (or I) would eat were the fruit platters, a cold bagel, and a side of plain couscous. She basically survived on packets of the airline's complimentary pretzels.

But putting that all behind us, we're home now, and that's what matters. Sophie's been thriving on all the attention she's been getting from family, and really having a wonderful time. She's still a little jetlagged and she literally starts perspiring just sitting still in the living room, but I don't think it bothers her at all. Everything is just so new and exciting for her that every second has been spent just asking and learning about new things. Like chicken rice :) And wild monkeys at MacRitchie Reservoir (where we found ourselves early this morning when Sophie decided to wake up at 5.30). But most importantly, Sophie got to meet Baby Julianne in person, and it was really sweet:

"I give Baby Julianne a kiss."

Two weeks. At home. With family. And friends. Christmas. Good food. I say, bring it!

Last hurrah for the year

Why, hello there!

I guess it's fitting that two days before we leave for the sunny, warm, and humid tropics, we should spend the morning frolicking (and I mean that fairly literally) in the wintry snow and bracing cold. It had snowed a couple of days ago and even though there isn't that much snow out, it was enough for one last sledding attempt for the year. The last two times we tried sledding with Sophie weren't the greatest of successes (the first of which was almost exactly a year ago actually...), but today, what with being much older and even more fearless, Sophie had a whale of a time and couldn't get enough!

Click for more photos

When Jude brought her down the first time, I swear the entire neighborhood could hear her squeal of delight :) And all the "wheeeee!"s that came after too, of course... She tried to make a snow angel like what she's seen in one of her books but we had to tell her there wasn't really enough snow to see the full effect.

This time Wednesday morning (Singapore time), we'll be basking in 90F/33C weather in a city 2 degrees north of the equator. Snow and cold will almost literally be half a world away.

One more week

Sophie loving her new headphones

This time next week, we'll probably be sound asleep in Jude's parents' place in Singapore; we would undoubtedly still be reeling from jet lag but relieved to have survived the 25-hour journey from Ann Arbor to his parents' doorstep. And that's what worrying me the most right now- that dastardly flight. It's actually making it a little hard for me to get excited about being home because all I want is to get the flight over and done with first. A combined 21 hours on the plane with a rambunctious 2 year-old who *needs* her fresh air and run-around time (even in winter), and for whom only a fine line divides pure euphoria and a total and epic existential meltdown. If that doesn't send shivers of dread down any parent's spine, then I don't know what does.

I know the flight is only going to be as stressful as I allow it so we're going to try to be as prepared as we can, but also not to get hung up about it too much either. Sophie's actually traveled well on planes the last two times we've traveled recently, but they were only 2-hour long trips and we timed them during her afternoon nap so she slept most of the way. This time though, we're going to have to make sure we have enough to occupy her with or she's just going to go all banshee-crazy with cabin fever... So this weekend, we're going to the Dollar Store to get a bunch of cheap chachkies, wrap them up in newspaper, and give one to her every hour to just unwrap and play with. Hopefully, the novelty will be fun. I'm also packing crayons, a coloring/sticker/activity book, and a couple of "search-and-find" books that usually occupy her for quite a while (like her favorite of the moment, In the Town, All Year Round).

Between Jude and I, we have two iPads with a combined battery life of 16.5 hours, identical sets of kiddie apps, all three Toy Story movies, and as many Kipper episodes as I could download from YouTube. We got Sophie her own kiddie headphones (which she LOVES) so she's all set in the entertainment department. I know, three movies and a whole load of cartoons might seem a little excessive but I've reconciled myself to the notion that a long-haul flight is NOT the time for interactive intellectually-stimulating books or carrot sticks. Sophie's going to get all the mind-numbing animation and whatever snacks she wants/needs to stay calm. Thankfully, her dairy allergies mean that the snacks she loves are mostly crackers and gummies, so they're not even really that bad for her... I'm also packing her favorite snacks because I'm not holding my breath on the vegan meal option I got for her as part of her ticket. I dislike airplane food enough as it is, I can't imagine what the vegan version is going to be like... I'm thinking, what's the worst that can happen? That she has nothing but soy milk, saltine crackers, chocolate bunny rabbit crackers, fruit gummies, and a bowl of udon during our transit in Tokyo over the course of the entire journey? I mean, honestly...

Café Sophie

So we found out a little too late that all Sophie wants for Christmas is carrot. Thankfully, what we did get her isn't too far removed from the vegetable. On top of a second hand lemonade/vegetable stand we had gotten her a while back and a tea set she got for her birthday, Sophie also has various varieties of toy food that have been gifted to her over time. And so for the longest time, her favorite thing to do has been setting up picnics and tea parties with Jude and I and her soft toys. Then when we were at our friends' place for a play date one day, we noticed how taken Sophie was with their play kitchen. She would be all engrossed, talking to herself about what she was doing ("Be careful, the oven is hot." "I put some carrots in the pot." "I'm hungry. I'm cooking."), and playing independently of us, which is something we've noticed she's doing quite a bit of lately.

So we thought it would be a good idea to shop around for one for her for Christmas. We had several criteria: 1) it has to be made of wood; 2) it has to be fairly compact to fit in Sophie's play yard (which is basically all of our very small living room); 3) it has to be reasonably priced; and 4) it has to be well-designed. And we found it all in the Educo My Creative Cookery Club.

Early Christmas present

We decided to set it up early since we'll be spending Christmas in Singapore and there is no way we are going to haul the kitchen set all the way across three continents just so Sophie can open it on Christmas morning. It's been a couple of weeks since she's had it and she LOVES it to bits. Even her teachers at school know about it because apparently she talks about it all the time. She has a field day putting all manner of toy food into the pots, stirring and frying, putting things into the "oven" and "refrigerator", checking to see if they're cold/hot enough, and taking them out. We've also been using it to teach her new words like spatula, salt and pepper shaker, and temperature.

And even though she's more than happy to play with the kitchen set by herself, it's actually been a lot of fun playing along with her. She asks us for our orders, we tell her what we want (Jude always gets a sandwich with everything and I have a burger with red peppers and onions), and she'll make it for us. Of course, service is not always the promptest at Café Sophie- Jude's been waiting on his last order for six days. Every time he asks Sophie where his sandwich is, she'll open the "oven", peek in, and tell him, "Be patient, Dada, it's in the oven. It's hot."

Meeting Santa for the first time

So- guess who we bumped into at the farmer's market yesterday?



I'm quite sure Sophie doesn't comprehend exactly who Santa Claus is or what he represents but she was excited enough to see him nonetheless. We didn't know he was going to be there and I guess no one did either because we barely had to wait 5 minutes before it was Sophie's turn to sit on his lap. Maybe because there was none of the hype or anticipation that sometimes accompanies the first Santa meeting, Sophie was actually really comfortable being held by him. She duly answered his questions (What's your name? How old are you? What would you like for Christmas?, which she breezily answered with "carrot"- I wish we had known that earlier coz it would have been much easier than what we've gotten her- for another post...) and was more than happy to give him a hug and snuggle.

She was still talking about her little tête-à-tête with Santa later in the afternoon and so I think it did mean something special to her. We haven't decided if we're going to do the whole "Santa brings children gifts on Christmas thing" but if we do, we know she at least likes the idea of the guy... :)

Got milk?

We were listening to The Muppets channel on Pandora when Rufus Wainwright's version of "Hallelujah" came on (don't ask- I haven't yet figured out which music gene in The Muppets is somehow related to this track...). About a minute into the song, Sophie asks quizzically, "Why is the man sad?" Now, while I appreciate her sensitivity to melancholy, anyone who's heard the original (or better yet, Jeff Buckley's version) would tell you that Rufus Wainwright emphatically does not sound half as sad, but what does Sophie know? She thinks Elmo is the paragon of normal... Anyways, before I could suggest that she have a conversation with Leonard Cohen about his songwriting, this is what she offers as a solution:

"Maybe he needs to drink some soy milk."

Now if only she were right and epic heartache could be cured by a dairy substitute...

Random daycare daily report #20

I've never seen a child more excited about playing in the snow than Sophie was today. All morning long, she kept going over and trying to put her snow boots on. Then we were finally getting ready to put on snow clothes, we had a hard time convincing Sophie that her boots has to go on last. She was excited about those boots! :)

Incidentally, at drop-off this morning, Sophie basically burst into her classroom and shouted out loud, "ARE WE GOING SLEDDING??!!" I guess they sort of did :)