Home

After almost a decade away, we are returning to Singapore.

It was not an easy or uncomplicated decision to make but it has been the perfect storm of factors and we think this is the right thing to do for now. Jude has been made a very generous job offer that we couldn't turn down and the research prospects in Singapore appear much more promising for me than they are here in the U.S. More importantly, when we asked Sophie if she'd rather stay in Ann Arbor or go back to Singapore, she batted nary an eyelid and replied, "I want to go to Singapore." I think she has very fond and vivid memories of when we were home over Christmas and is really looking forward to reliving them again. She talks about her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, and all the things she remembers seeing and doing- she's ready to leave right now if we'd let her :) I doubt she understands the magnitude or permanence of this move but she's happy about the prospect and I guess that's more than we can ask of her right now. And of course, there's our families, who couldn't be more ecstatic about our decision. The happy vibes that were jumping right out of Skype when we broke the news to them could probably generate enough electricity to power a small country :)

We're going to miss Ann Arbor in so many ways- this is after all where Jude and I shared our first home, bought our first car, started and completed grad school, and had our child. And where Sophie is concerned, Ann Arbor has given her just about the most blessed childhood we could have asked for her. It has given her great caregivers and friends, taught her about seasons, and inculcated in her a love for and curiosity about nature and the great outdoors. Ann Arbor made it possible for us to expose her to the array of intellectually and culturally-rich experiences that have shaped her early years. Singapore will do the same as she moves past toddlerhood, but in different ways, and it'll be quite the adventure for all of us.

We recognize that we'll be going home with some degree of privilege-- not of money or status-- but of experience. The last nine years here has influenced us tremendously in the way we now think, behave, and make decisions. And we want to use that experience to do good. To be good. That is what makes me hopeful about this next stage of our lives- that by going home, we can be of greater service than if we stayed here, that we can better contribute to something larger than ourselves, put something out into the ether that was not there before us.

But for now, there are more modest concerns that occupy us- purging and packing up the house, figuring out the details of the move, and dealing with mundane things like car payments, loans, credit cards, etc. Basically, we're slowly erasing the traces of our life here in the U.S. and re-carving one in Singapore.

See you in August, Singapore.

Sunset at MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore

Random daycare daily report #30

Our daughter, the firetruck groupie...

The firetruck visits daycare!

You were right, Sophie was pretty thrilled about the fire truck visit. The kids were a little nervous that the siren might sound, but Sophie wasn't going to let that slow her down. Before we left the room, she slapped on a set of headphones, just in case, and she was good to go. When the firefighter asked if anyone wanted to get in the truck, most of the kids said no and scooted away. But not Sophie. She said, "I do!" and let the firefighter pick her up and put her on the truck :)

I really don't know clouds at all

Girl on grass

This was Sophie this evening in our backyard as Jude was firing up the grill for dinner. She spent a good 10 minutes rolling around the grass, sometimes lying still and just starring up into the sky. I asked her later why she was lying on the grass.

"I was watching the clouds go by."

How very Joni Mitchell of our daughter :)

Random daycare daily report #29

Sophie's Mothers' Day present to me from daycare

Sophie had a terrific day. This morning, she wanted me to rock her like a baby. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I *was* rocking her to sleep. Sophie loves for me to tell her stories about when she was in the baby room and I love that I've known her long enough that I can tell her those stories :) Have a wonderful Mothers' Day. You have one fantastic kid!

Random daycare daily report #28

Sophie is really excited for the month of June. She keeps telling me that Dada's birthday is in June, then she will go to Preschool. Sophie also informs me that on Dada's birthday, she will have to help him blow out the candles because there will be [arms thrown out wide] "sooooooooooo many!"

Jude's birthday in 2010

Blown away

[click for photo album]

1. Our loft apartment for the next 5 days, 2. Crown Fountain, 3. Shedd Aquarium, 4. With Dada, 5. Sophie's first bacon!, 6. Mini paleontologists , 7. Beautiful brides, 8. Sophie & Uncle Han :), 9. Beginning of the 4-hour solo drive back to Ann Arbor

And we're back from our Windy City vacation and it was wonderful. We all had a blast of a time and it was beautifully memorable for a whole host of reasons. We have always loved Chicago and even though Sophie's been there two other times (once when she was 8 months old and the other when she was 14 months), this is the first time she will probably remember any of the things we've seen or done.

One of her favorite books has always been Good Night Chicago (that we bought during one of those earlier trips) and ever since we knew we were taking this holiday, Jude and I have been highlighting to Sophie the different things in the book we would be doing with her. We brought the book around with us throughout the trip and whenever we were someplace highlighted in there (like the aquarium, or Millennium Park, or a Cubs game), we'd whip it out and show her the page. I think having a pictorial checklist of sorts was particularly exciting for her :)

Some highlights:
1) Thanks to airbnb.com, we scored a bright, airy, eclectic, and beautiful loft apartment in the city (with internet and parking included) for a fraction of what it would cost to stay in a hotel. The location was unbeatable and we were always just five to ten minutes away from anywhere we wanted to go.

2) Just like the children in her book, Sophie wanted to walk bare feet in the waters of the Crown Fountain at Millennium Park. We did, and she was thrilled.

3) Sophie loves sea creatures. Always has. And there was no way we were going to miss out on the Shedd Aquarium. I cannot describe to you how happy she was all day that day. All she could talk about was the dolphins, and jellyfish, and seahorses she saw, the beluga whales in their huge pools, and the aquatic show that just awed her so completely. You would not have found a happier two-year-old that day.

4) Sophie attended her first baseball game, at a good 'ole traditional ballpark no less! Complete with baseball cap and ballpark hotdog. The Cubs were playing the L.A. Dodgers and although we didn't stay for the whole game (it got too cold), it was definitely quite an experience for Sophie. She even got an official "My First Game" certificate from the folks at Wrigley Field to commemorate the event!

5) Sophie's first taste of bacon (at nana). 'Nuff said- it was an important day :)

6) Another highlight was definitely the dinosaur exhibit at the Chicago Children's Museum. Designed to be a faux excavation site, the children could pretend to be mini paleontologists digging for dinosaur bones. Sophie took the task very seriously and was determined to "dig" up at least the dinosaur's tail before she would leave the exhibit.

7) The main reason we were in Chicago was to celebrate the wedding of our good friends, Libby and Naomi. It was a beautiful ceremony and there was much happy crying all round. Sophie remembers them fondly from when they visited us last year, and so she's been looking forward to the wedding for a long time (mostly because so she could wear her sparkly purple sneakers). They are two of our favorite people in the world and we're just so happy that we could share in their special day.

8) By sheer coincidence, my uncle happened to be in Chicago for a food convention. Sophie and I met up with him for a delicious brunch at sola and it so nice to be able to catch up with family even if it was only for a couple of hours.

9) Jude left for a conference early yesterday morning so I had to drive back to Ann Arbor with Sophie on my own. Let's just say, it was exhausting being engaging, answering questions, telling stories, and singing songs, all the while trying to maintain a 75mph speed limit and keeping a safe distance from the car in front of you... For four hours. Thank god for Sirius satellite radio, the Muppets soundtrack, and a venti Pike Place coffee from Starbucks.

Pancakes, Pancakes

So this is our new favorite bedtime story and has been for the past week or so. Sophie goes through phases and we never really know when or why she becomes fixated with a particular book. But we're not complaining, particularly when it's a fun book like Pancakes, Pancakes, which is about a boy who craves a big pancake for breakfast and has to go through an entire process-- from threshing the wheat to milking the cow-- to get the different ingredients. I think it's good for Sophie to know that food doesn't just appear on your table and that there is a process by which it gets there.

And so, to make things a little more fun, we decided to make pancakes yesterday morning. I showed her all the different things that go into her pancake and we talked about how different they are from the story. No eggs, butter, and milk for us, but there was soy milk, baking powder, and oil. I asked her to choose between strawberry jam that the boy in the book had or chocolate chips, and of course, the wise toddler chose chocolate :) And while I was making the pancakes in the kitchen, she sat and read the book with Jude:

In anticipation of breakfast

Thanks to this really easy recipe, it didn't take long for yummy, fluffy pancakes to reach the breakfast table:

Pancakes, Pancakes!

I think Sophie was sufficiently pleased- she was silent the whole time, carefully chewing and savoring the melty chocolate chips, and finished the entire pancake in less than 10 minutes.

And then went right back to reading Pancakes, Pancakes just to complete the experience :)

"Can you graduation me?"

"I will be Dr. Sophie En En Yew."

I think Sophie was more excited about it than either one of us. We've been telling her that we'll be attending Jude's graduation for a week or so now and it clearly has been on her mind ever since. In fact, by Thursday, everyone at her school was congratulating Jude because Sophie had been telling anyone who would listen that Jude was graduating:

Sophie has been talking a lot about Jude's graduation. I asked her what was going to happen at the graduation and she said, "They are going to call Dada, Dr. Jude Yew!" I asked her if she would also have to start calling him Dr. Jude Yew but she assured me that she would still call him "Dada" :)

In the end, I think she was sufficiently excited by the whole experience- even before we made it to the auditorium, she was virtually bursting with anticipation- "It's Dada graduation! I'm so excited!" She probably doesn't have a clue what it means to graduate but we've been talking about it to her enough that she knows it's something worth celebrating. She did really well for most of the ceremony- sat quietly while the faculty proceeded in to the strains of Pomp and Circumstance, waited patiently for everyone to sit and settle in, listened in awe as our friend, Devin, sang a stirring rendition of the national anthem, and was even really good through an opening address AND the Commencement speech (with the exception of that one loud outburst which I'm sure EVERYONE heard because the auditorium was so hushed- "Why did the graduation music stop? Where's Dada? Oh Dada, where are you??" Jude said he definitely heard her all the way up front...)

We think Sophie definitely had a memorable day- she was still talking about it this morning, mostly about Jude's academic dress and what she saw/heard/did in the auditorium yesterday. And this is one of the main reasons why Jude decided to attend the ceremony in the first place. He had actually defended his dissertation in August last year and started his new job the month after, so it's not as if yesterday's proceedings meant a whole lot to him personally. But we wanted Sophie to experience the pomp and ceremony of it all- how many times in your life are you going to witness one of your parents properly receive his Ph.D.? She was only 16 months old when I got mine and probably doesn't remember anything, so we thought it would nice for her to be part of Jude's special day, even if it is just symbolic.

Just so you have a sense of what a difference almost a year and a half makes, here's us three at our two graduation ceremonies:

My graduation, Dec 2010

Jude's graduation, April 2012

Toddler problem solving

The problem that Sophie and her friend, Conor, encountered at daycare today:
How to get onto the tire swing all by themselves? (because clearly, toddlers are fully independent creatures who require no assistance from anyone)

Solution:
1) Work together
2) Find crate to prop themselves up
3) Realize that said crate is too high to get up as well
4) Gather more crates and build a row of them to the slide so that the slide handle can be used as an assist up the crates



Honestly, when their teachers told us what Sophie and Conor had done, we could barely believe it; but when we saw the structure for ourselves and also how proud the two of them were of their accomplishment, that incredulity turned into a profound sense of pride :) According to the teachers, they worked really hard at it and it took them a while to put everything together all by themselves. Apart from being so very very proud of her ingenuity and thoughtfulness, we also appreciate that the teachers allowed them to explore their own solution without 1) stopping them from "making a mess" or 2) solving the problem for them.

Oh, and even better, Sophie managed to do it all without losing her balance or her hat! :)

Sparkle

"Mama, can you wear the sparkly shoes to your office today, please?"

She asked so nicely, I couldn't say no.

Seeking the ultimate grilled cheese sandwich

What do you like in your grilled cheese sandwich?

Jude and I were inspired by the cheese department at Whole Foods this weekend and decided to experiment with a slightly non-traditional take on the classic. We started with some good Zingerman's sesame semolina bread and then several kinds of cheese as recommended by the cheese guy at Whole Foods- a soft sheep's milk cheese for melting and a Parmesan/Asiago mix for flavor. I heeded the advice of Ruth Reichl, former editor-in-chief of Gourmet magazine and former food critic of the New York Times and added some finely chopped scallions and garlic into the cheeses before building the sandwich for an extra layer of flavor. And a couple of slices of capicola ham, which i know, isn't technically traditional, but heck,  it tasted SO good :) As Reichl suggested, I generously buttered both sides of the bread, grated the cheeses (not sliced), and spread a thin layer of mustard inside for a slight tang to offset the richness of the bread and cheese.

Three minutes each side, some squishing of the sandwich in between, and lunch, was served.

Grilled cheese sandwich for lunch today

The result was crunchy, gooey, and deeply flavorful, all at the same time. Those alliums definitely made a difference to the cheese and the ham added another layer of deliciouness to just round everything off. That and a cup of tangy tomato soup- lunchtime nirvana I tell you :)

S for Sophie

It all started when we received this adorable personalized plate in the mail last week- a surprise present from my sister, Sherri, which has gotten Sophie really excited about mealtimes ever since :) It not only has her name on it, the picture of the little girl with two ponytails looks a little like her too, which of course, thrills Sophie to no end. She's been wanting to eat everything off that plate, including noodle soup and I had to tell her no, but place a couple pieces of popcorn on it just to placate her.

"This is my S for Sophie plate!"

The other thing the plate has inspired is an interest in the alphabet. When I told Sophie that the word on the plate spells "Sophie," she asked, "What else the letters say?" which got me really excited :) She was showing an interest in reading and learning her letters and I was more than happy to jump in! I explained to her that 'S' is Sophie's special letter because that's the first letter of her name.

Now, it's the one letter she can confidently identify- "S for Sophie!" she would shout, whenever she sees the letter. Like when we were walking towards our neighbourhood grocery store, Busch's yesterday- Sophie saw the two large 'S's on the sign and practically yelled to the entire parking lot- "Two 'S's for Sophie! There are two 'S's for Sophie!" Or when we were reading the book, Spring is Here: A Story About Seeds that she got from school- she was almost delirious with joy :) I think it helps that she thinks the letter looks like a snake and a worm so it's easy for her to remember. We also put a star sticker on the 'S' of a used keyboard she plays with so she easily identifies it whenever she "send(s) Gong Gong (my dad) an email"...

So far, apart from 'S', she can often also identify 'O' and 'P'- 'O' simply because once you mimic the shape with your mouth, it's a pretty easy one, and 'P' because I told her 'P' is for Payton, her best friend at school. I also said 'P' looks like a magnifying glass (I mean, it sort of does, no?) so that helps her a little too. These days, whenever we look at the title of whatever book we're reading, I'll ask her to find 'S', 'O', and 'P'. It's been a fun little game and I'm hoping it helps her slowly learn the other letters of her name. I'm in no hurry for her to grasp the entire alphabet-- she'll get there eventually-- but I think it's been quite the special thing for her to understand that these disparate symbols come together to spell her name.

All this, because of a plate. Thanks, 姨姨二二＊!

＊This is what Sophie calls my sister, Sherri: 姨(aunt); 二(two/second)

Memories

Lately, Sophie has been keenly interested in her birth story and things that happened when she "was just a teeny tiny baby". "Can you tell me the story of when I was born, Mama?" she would ask, or we'd have to go through photos of her first year for the umpteenth time where I'd describe to her the story behind every photo exactly as I had already did the day before. And as a result, she can now tell us what she calls her "baby stories"; and even more funny, she talks about them as if she actually remembers these things happening. She's internalized everything we've told her to the point that they've become almost like real memories to her.

Sonic Youth @ Royal Oak

Example 1: We went to watch Sonic Youth in concert when I was 7 months pregnant. They were amazing but we had to leave early because Sophie started kicking me so hard mid-way through. We think she might have been bothered by the sheer volume of the music.
Sophie's version: "Remember when I was still in Mama's belly? You went to watch a concert and the music was too loud! I kicked Mama so hard. I'm sorry I hurt you, Mama. But the music was really loud!"

Example 2: I've lost count how many times I've told her our birth story (the abridged version, at least), particularly the parts involving being woken up by contractions, calling our mothers, and the whole pushing her out bit.
Sophie's version: "Remember when Sophie was born, Mama was sleeping and Sophie woke her up because I was kicking and kicking." "You call Grandma and Por Por and said, "Sophie is coming! Sophie is coming!""Mama push and she push, and she push, and then I pop out!"

30 seconds in our world

Example 3: Sophie was born 3 weeks early and weighed 5lbs 12oz (2.6kg). She was a really tiny baby and the nurses and doctors ended up calling her Peanut because of her size.
Sophie's version: "Remember, when Sophie was born, the doctors and nurses call me Peanut because I was a teeny tiny baby!"

First bath at the hospital

Example 4: Sophie was not a happy camper when the nurse gave her her first bath the day after she was born. In fact, it was then that we knew we have a screamer on our hands...
Sophie's version: "When Sophie was a baby, I didn't want to take a bath. Remember, I cried so loud."

Random daycare daily report #27

The Threadless t-shirt that Sophie wore to school today

At snack today, Sophie was trying to explain to all her friends about her shirt. She said, "The dinosaur is using the bus as a rollerskate and the people are all falling out." Payton said, "Oooo, that's scary." Sophie just looked at Payton and said, "It's not scary, Payton. It's funny." I think maybe Sophie was annoyed that her friends didn't "get" her shirt :) I get it, though, and I think it's hilarious!"

Random daycare daily report #26

Our little imp at daycare

For art today we made a collage of pictures of our favorite places. I thought I was prepared with the pictures of Singapore, the Hands-on-Museum, and California. But as we got started, Sophie looked up at me and said, "Where is the Muppet Studio?" How could I forget?! So I printed some pictures of the Muppet Studio and Sophie had a great time putting all her favorite places together in one place :)

Princess Duckweed of Black Pond

There were no eggs or rabbits or chocolate for Sophie on Easter Sunday, but there was lots of walking in forests and among trees (nope, no bunnies there either...). With the Hands-on-Museum and YMCA closed for Easter, our usual Sunday afternoon plans were pretty much shot; but we knew the one place that would always be open and that Sophie enjoys is the Leslie Science Center. The trails and raptor enclosures are opened all year round from dawn to dusk and since it was too beautiful spring day to squander indoors, we decided to do a little impromptu hike.



Sophie's never gone on a hike before and I wasn't sure how she'd take to all the walking. But it would seem that we have a little woodland nymph on our hands and she walked through the woods like she'd be doing it all her life. We took a mile-long trail through the Black Pond Woods towards Black Pond and she never once asked to be picked up. She was too busy picking up sticks, looking at insects, and trying to sit on fallen logs or tree stumps. It was really quite wonderful to see her enjoy herself so much :)



But what she really loved was sitting on the bridge at Black Pond and stirring the duckweeds around with a huge stick. We were literally there for close to 45 minutes, basking in the quiet of the woods, watching her play, listening to her little running narrative about catching us fish for dinner and cooking it in black soup. She even said to us, "I don't want to go home. I want to stay here, please?" We were compelled to ceremoniously crown her Princess Duckweed of Black Pond :)



We promised her that we would come back often and that Black Pond wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon (we didn't tell her that it probably dries up in the hot summer months, though...). We then took a shorter half-mile route back to the science center and by that time, it was obvious that woodland nymphs get tired too...



It thrills us that Sophie doesn't really need fancy toys or gadgets to amuse herself. Give her a stick, some duckweed, sit her by a pond, and then let her imagination do the rest :)

Sophie cheers for Singapore

It's funny how things come around- I spent the bulk of my doctoral program studying children's notions of national identity and wrote a 250-page dissertation on the topic. I spoke to 140 students from both Singapore and the U.S. as part of my research and read everything that can be read on the topic. So you would think pretty much nothing can surprise me when it comes to little kids talking about what it means to be a citizen of a country. Unless it's my own two-year old that is.

So apparently, Sophie's teachers have been talking to them about the upcoming Olympics at daycare (I'm not sure what kinds of conversations toddlers can have about international sporting events but ok...). One of her classmate's parents are from Canada and so he kept saying, "I cheer for Canada!" According to her teachers, Sophie was not to be outdone and declared to everyone, "I cheer for Singapore!" Now, on the surface, that doesn't seem surprising. But Jude and I have never talked to Sophie about her citizenship, about how she's born in the U.S. but both her parents are Singaporeans. I wasn't even sure she knows what a country is, lest of all that Singapore is one. So how she knows to cheer for a country which she only remembers traveling to once is beyond me- as far as she's concerned, Singapore could be like Boston or Chicago- the two other places she remembers visiting.

It might be that it's the only place we talk about frequently- we hardly make references to Ann Arbor specifically or the U.S. in general since living here means we sort of take it for granted (or talk about local places instead, like the library, grocery store, or the museum, etc); whereas Singapore is "there", where family is- her grandparents, her aunts, uncles, and cousins, and where we spent Christmas and New Year. I doubt there's any of those ephemeral feelings of belonging or allegiance that are accompanying her "support" of Singapore for the Olympics (honestly, I'm wondering if she even really understands what it means to cheer something on), but right now, it's obvious that to Sophie, Singapore is just different, special somehow.

Look at this picture we took of Sophie's artwork that's on display right now at our neighborhood cafe. It has a little sign in the corner about how old she is and what her Likes are. Sophie's Likes- "The Muppets, Singapore, singing." :)

Sophie's artwork on display at Cafe Marie

Random daycare daily report #25

I wish you could have seen the position Sophie fell asleep in at nap today (I tried to get a picture but she moved before I could get the camera). She was feeling a little nervous about the thunder, so she fell asleep on her side with her fingers in her ears. It was so cute :) Also, Sophie told me when Dada gets home, she's going to give him a smoochie woochie kiss. If that's not something to hurry home for, I don't know what is! :)

Dada is home!

Ouch

Sophie post-stomach flu Day #3:
Energetic, happy, chatty, and with an appetite that is back with a vengeance- her dinner tonight included a huge bowl of udon noodles with soup, half a dozen strawberries, milk, and a handful of crackers, after which she starred into the empty dish and whined, "I have nothing left to eat... I'm still hungry, Mama." So I gave her a small serving of plain popcorn, which she obliterated in less than 5 minutes. Oh, and for breakfast this morning, she had two slices of toast (she usually only takes one). And then asked for more after.... Like I said, with a vengeance.

Serene post-stomach flu Day #1:
Slightly more energetic than yesterday, infinitely grateful for daycare so that she could stay home from work and sleep the day away, and with an appetite that hasn't quite come back yet- her dinner tonight included two slices of toast, some soup, one strawberry, and one errant popcorn that Sophie was barely willing to share. And for breakfast, one slice of toast less than her daughter. Like I said, not quite back yet.

Believe them when they say that the stomach flu bug is lethal.

Sick bunny

What do you do when you catch some inexplicable bug that renders you listless and appetite-less? You're not your usual chatty happy self and when faced with your favorite banana chocolate-chip muffin for breakfast or miso soup for dinner, you only take a couple of bites. You've thrown up twice in the last 24 hours and haven't had an easy time in the pooping department, either.



You fall asleep on the table at lunch, that's what :(

Don't forget the lyrics!

Sophie loves music. She likes listening to it at dinner, as we're getting ready for bed, and most especially when we're in the car, which is a subject for a whole other post because she has basically hijacked our car stereo and subjected us to an infinite loop of The Muppets soundtrack and Gustafer Yellowgold ad nauseum. You try explaining to a two-year-old why Dada and Mama have as much right to listen to Goyte and R.E.M. as she does to Jason Segel and Kermit the Frog. I guarantee, you will lose.

The upside though, is listening to her sing along (or try to) when her favorite songs come on. It's particularly hysterical when she mangles the lyrics and insists on singing it her way even after we've corrected her a gazillion times. It's HILARIOUS...

"My Favorite Things", Julie Andrews
Original version: When the dog bites, when the bee stings...
Sophie's version: When the dog bites, when the bee sings

"1 2 3 4", Feist
Original version: 1 2 3 4, tell me that you love me more
Sophie's version: 1 2 3 4, tell me that you love me door

"Octopus Garden", The Beatles
Original version: I'd like to be under the sea, In an octopus' garden in the shade
Sophie's version: I'd like to be under the sea, In an octopus' garden in the spade

and my favorite:

"Rainbow Connection", Kermit the Frog
Original version: The lovers, the dreamers, and me... All of us, under its spell...
Sophie's version: The lovers, the dreamers, and me... All of us, under its smell...

Oh, and then there's her listening to The Muppets channel on Pandora last week when Rufus Wainwright's "Hallelujah" comes on. Sophie says, "Hey Mama, you really like this song!" which made me happy enough (although the Jeff Buckley version is my favorite, I'd listen to any version of the song, really). And then she follows that up with, "It's "Hallelulah"!" I don't know how she knew that but it made me almost a little teary... :)

Attack of the killer tomatoes

1. Snuggling, 2. Sitting on the laundry basket and covering her ears, 3. Distracting her with pretend camping with our camping equipment

It was Sophie's first tornado (or in her words, "tomatoes", which she distinguishes specifically from the vegetable/fruit) warning. Things started when I picked her up from daycare- Ann Arbor was already under a tornado watch so adhering to standard practice, all the children were in their designated shelter areas within the building. Sophie and her classmates were in the babies' napping room and when she saw me, Sophie excitedly shouted, "We're having a tomato drill, Mama! Come join us!"

I don't think she had any clue what a tornado was then and just knew it was something for which they'd occasionally have a drill to prepare. I bundled her into the car and by then, it had already started to rain and the sky was darkening threateningly. In the car, I explained to Sophie that tornadoes are huge funnels of wind that can sweep things away and that when we get home, we have to go down into the basement for a while just in case a tornado came by the house. She got really quiet and just watched the rain come down outside. By the time we reached our parking lot, the city-wide tornado sirens were already going off and bits of hail started pelting down on us. That was when Sophie started getting a little scared and shouted, "Tomato sirens, Mama! Tomatoes are coming! We have to go to the basement! Hurry! Hurry! Protect me!" I had to laugh as visions of projectile cherry tomatoes came to mind...

We got home and I managed to grab some milk and crackers for Sophie and my phone before heading down into the basement. By then it was about 6.00pm and the National Weather Service's statement was that the tornado warning would only be till 6.30pm. We sat as far as we could from the basement window as Sophie clung tightly to me. Between the tornado sirens, the rattling of the windows, thunder, and the pounding wind and hail, she was petrified. We listened to a bunch of Jack Johnson and The Beatles on my phone just to drown out the weather sounds and I think that made her feel better for a while. She was still clingy and scared though and kept her fingers in her ears for most the hour that we were downstairs. She would try to be brave and say, "I'm not scared. Mama and the basement protect me." But then she'd hear a rumble of thunder and bolt into my arms again. Poor baby...

I kept checking the local newspaper reports and found out that not only was the tornado warning extended to 7.15pm, a tornado had actually made land in Dexter, a town about 20-minutes from us (click here for images of the destruction it caused). Funnels were also being spotted all across the county. To make things worse, Jude was at that time, sitting in a plane in Minneapolis, not being able to take off to come back because of the bad weather here. We texted back and forth to keep him posted and he even took a photo of himself making a funny face to make Sophie feel better. It worked :) He also suggested that I take out some of our camping equipment and do some pretend camping to distract the poor girl. So out came the sleeping bags and a couple lanterns. They worked like a charm and before I knew it, mischievous, giggly Sophie was back as she rolled around the sleeping bag, playing peek-a-boo and pitching a pretend tent.

It was finally 7.15pm and I checked to make sure that the warning had really expired before bringing Sophie upstairs. I looked outside and while it was still raining, there were no signs that a tornado had hit any where near us. Sophie was fine by now and it seemed like she had almost forgot how scared she was just barely an hour ago. Thank god.

So there-- our first near-tornado experience. It got quite nerve-wrecking there for a bit and I really was half-expecting a tornado to make land closer to us. And while I'm relieved that none did, I do feel for the folks out in Dexter. News reports say that there are no deaths or serious injuries there from the tornado but I can only imagine how hard it must be to see your home in ruins like that. Our warmest thoughts go out to the folks out there.

Random daycare daily report #24

Walking hand in hand with her friends to Olson Park

Sophie had a blast at Olson Park today. We walked there and right as we were approaching the park, Sophie said, "Oh, I am so tired. We have walked so far!" Once she saw the park though, she regained her energy and had a great time!

Doing a Cirque du Soleil despite being "so tired"

I think Spring is here

There is just something so viscerally irresistible about piles of crunchy crackling leaves. It's like they're calling out to you, "Jump in us! Throw our leaves! Have fun!"

And so Sophie did :)

Random daycare daily report #23

Pretending to cook at daycare

Sophie is my kind of chef. This morning, she was pretending to make everyone hotdogs. She brought me mine and I asked her what was on my hotdog. Without hesitation, she said, "Gummi bears and all sorts of things, ok?" :) I do love hotdogs and gummi bears. I'd just never considered them together!

Nothing to fear but fear itself

This evening, as we were reading one of our favorite books, Bear Feels Scared, this conversation transpires:

Sophie: Sometimes, I feel scared also.
Me: When do you feel scared, sweetheart?
Sophie: (nonchalantly) On Thursdays.

Savor life

It was a rare 60F (15C) March evening here in Ann Arbor and we couldn't bear to squander it by being indoors. So Jude suggested that we take Sophie for a sorbet treat after school. Unfortunately, the only sorbet flavor at Zingerman's yesterday was raspberry with chocolate chips and I didn't want to risk Sophie's dairy allergy with the milk that might be in it, dark chocolate or not.

Instead we got her a mini vegan cupcake with rainbow sprinkles. And honestly, I think she loved it more than she would have loved a scoop of sorbet. You should have seen her savor the thing- first slowly picking each individual sprinkle and licking it off her chubby fingers, then tentatively tasting the frosting, nibbling around the edges initially. It was like she wanted it to go on forever :) But the moment she took a first bite though, the mini-cupcake didn't stand a chance. It was gone in a blink. Kinda like this:

Growing up

When people who haven't seen Sophie in a while tell me how much she's grown, I always say I can't tell. Because I really can't. I guess it's hard when you're caught up in the everyday minutiae of parenting to be conscious of how much growing your child is actually doing- how much taller, stronger, how many more words, new skills and abilities. In fact, until a couple of days ago when Sophie was laughing so hard that I could actually see into the insides of her mouth, I hadn't realized that her last molars have almost completely popped out.

Then last night, I happened upon a photo taken of Sophie in January of 2011 and I was struck by what I saw.

Sophie 2011

Sophie 2012

In the photo on the top, Sophie still had her soft, short, untouched baby hair. In fact, it wouldn't be for another five months before she would get her hair cut for the first time. And even though she already had most of her front teeth, her incisors were still growing out.

Of course, in the photo on the bottom, which was taken just last weekend, I see such a different girl. There is a new maturity and strength behind her eyes, and her features are looking more and more like the features of an adult. You can almost see how she'd look like as a grown-up. Her fast growing hair needs to be brushed every morning and held back with either a hair clip or a rubber band.

You've done so much good growing this last year Sophie- Mama and Dada can't wait to see how much more you'll do come the rest of your life...

In lieu of a hug

As someone who's been in school for close to 23 years, I'd like to think that I know a thing or two about taking exams, and surviving them. And throughout my entire academic career, I've always considered the 'A' levels to be the hardest thing I ever had to do, the Ph.D. included. Writing the dissertation was a breeze compared to the months of studying, the excruciating build-up, and finally the grueling weeks of the actual 'A' levels exams themselves. It is not an experience I'd ever want to go through again and something I would never wish on even my worse enemy.

But having said that, it is (unfortunately) a critical aspect of many young Singaporeans' life, my baby sister non exempt. And yesterday, she demonstrated what it means to not just rock the exam, but how to take it to town and show it who's boss. She experienced one of the hardest things a Singaporean student has to undergo and did it with grit, gumption, and grace, and emerged with grades that surpassed even her own expectations of herself. Everyone in the family would have been proud of her regardless of how she did, but her stellar performance (and more importantly, what it represents-- all the hard work, sacrifices, and prayers) is just what she needs right now as she stands on the cusp of the rest of her life. So many more doors are now open with so many more possibilities, and all those hypothetical "maybe"s now replaced by attainable "whether"s.

Sam- you are AWESOME. And we are so very very very proud! This is your moment- embrace it. Own it.

Sam and I sharing a moment when the family visited in Christmas 2010

Weekend

So I found myself-- last night-- torn between: 1) watching the Oscars (which ended up being a bit of a snooze fest- not the most exciting ceremony I've seen since I started watching almost 20 years ago now) and 2) baking a cake for Sophie for breakfast. Yes, that's the kind of mother I am, the kind who feeds her toddler dessert at 8.00 in the morning. Well, if your toddler had pooped in the potty the night before (to much fanfare, no less), you would be baking up a buffet of treats too :)

Chocolate cake for breakfast, as promised

Yup- so it would seem that it wasn't a fluke after all- Sophie had her first (almost) diaper-free weekend, and I'm happy to say that it went really well. We did everything we'd normally do-- went to the library, ran errands, sledded, did a Target run-- all without diapers and happily, there were no accidents. The whole constantly asking if she needed to potty thing took some getting used to but after a while, we learned to trust her to tell us when she needs to go. She still wears her diapers during nap and bedtime and we're still working on her going diaper-free at daycare, but it's nice to know she's on her way.

To add to an already exciting weekend, we also decided to introduce Sophie to the wonderful world of chopsticks. She's always curious when she watches us eat with them and since she was feeling so proud of herself for accomplishing so much this weekend, we thought to just throw something else into the mix. We had bought a pair of training chopsticks from Singapore and I have to say, these are rather well designed. There's a training bridge to help the child hold the chopsticks properly by using the thumb and eventually, when he/she is ready, you can then remove the support. I actually don't think either Jude or I hold chopsticks "properly"- my grandma used to tell me off when I was a kid. Hopefully, Sophie will have better chopstick manners, although looking at her first attempt, I'm not holding my breath (not in the near future anyway...)

[Watch how by the end, she settles on a more efficient means of delivering food into her mouth. Nothing-- eating implements included-- must get in between Sophie Yew and her food :)]

Little victories

Jude is convinced that Sophie has actually been holding out on us with this potty training business and that this whole time, she's just been waiting until a reasonable reward presented itself. Which in this case appears to be... Haribo peach-flavored gummies.

SO (drumroll please...)- this evening, as we were all just lounging around the house, Sophie declares that she needs to go sit on her potty. We haven't had much success since the last time we made a concerted effort to "train" her, but since then, every time she says she wants/needs to, we put her on the potty even though she almost never actually pees in it.

But then this evening, we heard it.

The undeniable trickle of pee in the potty.

A glorious sound, the first time your child voluntarily and consciously pees in the potty. A sound that should be accompanied by a heavenly choir, by angels trumpeting.

Hallelujah.

I look at her and she peers back at me in amazement. Her face blooms with a wide adorable smile and she beams with pride.

"I peed in the potty! I peed in the potty, Mama! Listen, my pee is so noisy!" she shouts.

So I think our reaction was a little over the top for a successful pee attempt but basically, we celebrated-  two-gold stars! the Potty Dance! hugs all round! kisses! applause! and most importantly, CANDY!!! If we could, we would have declared tomorrow a public holiday! (although I suspect the snow storm we're having right now might take care of that)

And then, she goes on to do it two more times! Each time, she just told us that she needed to go and she did :) I almost had to slap myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming this all up...

Granted, I wouldn't say that she's entirely potty trained-- it was just tonight and we still have some ways to go-- but after the semi-fiasco that was our last attempt, I'll take any small victory. At least we now know she recognizes what the sensation feels like and can tell us before it needs to happen.

Still, this just reminds me once again that maybe I really should just trust our daughter more when it comes to these milestones, and that when she's good and ready, she'll reach them just fine. I was convinced she would NEVER roll over, walk, drink out of a sippy cup, or sleep through the night, and she's now gone and done all those things and more. When we dedicated an entire weekend to potty-training her, that sort of fell apart; but when we pulled back a little and gave her some space, she came to it when her little wonderful, precious, amazing mind decided it was time.

Old friends, new favorites

I love watching Sophie discover new books, that rapt wonder on her face as we're reading to her, her bubbling giggles when something funny comes up, and her ernest pleading for us to read the book again and again, and again (sometimes on the same night). And even better than that, I love discovering these new books with her, especially books from authors we've already come to love dearly, like this family's favorites, Eric Carle and Mo Willems.

Every child I know owns one copy (if not more) of The Very Hungry Caterpillar and we are no exception. But Sophie also loves The Very Busy Spider, 10 Little Rubber Ducks, and From Head to Toe. So imagine her delight when we picked up another Eric Carle book from the library this weekend. Mister Seahorse is gorgeously illustrated (as one would expect from Mr. Carle) and a "hide and seek" feature with acetate overlays adds that extra something that Sophie really enjoys. It's also the perfect book for her because of her particular obsession with all sea creatures- who knew a two-year-old could get so excited by tilapia and kurtus? More importantly though, Jude and I like it because it's so rare to find good books about dads and fathering. With so many books out there about mothers' love, it's been nice to spend some time (or in the case of tonight, three readings of the book back-to-back) talking about the role of daddies in taking care of babies. It doesn't hurt, of course, that the book is helping Sophie learn a little more about fish reproduction and care-giving... :)

Another current favorite from an old friend is Mo Willems' I Broke My Trunk. We are huge fans of Willems' Knuffle Bunny and Pigeon books, but we've only just recently discovered the Elephant and Piggie books. And I Broke My Trunk is a particular delight. Jude and I actually fight to see who gets to read it out loud because it is HILARIOUS. It doesn't matter how many times we've read it, all three of us laugh uncontrollably every. single. time. In his customary spare prose and expressive illustrations, Willems' has created a wonderfully sweet and silly story about Piggie, her best friend, Gerald, and the "crazy long story" about how Gerald broke his trunk. Sophie has already committed parts of the story to memory and will "read" it to us while laughing uproariously at the same time. In her words, "Is Mo Willems silly, Mama? He so funny! Hahahahahaha..."

Such a chore

One of the things that's really important to Jude and I is that Sophie learns to help out around the house. With both of us working full-time, chores are pretty much left to nights and weekends and we've decided that we should slowly involve Sophie in small ways. She already knows to clean up her toys after she's done and to return her books to the shelf. It doesn't always get done efficiently or gets done every time we ask her, but when we show that we're helping her in some way, she'll almost always do her own little part.

Lately, she's become really interested in helping out in the kitchen- maybe it's because we baked bread together last weekend or the fact that she's been playing with the toy kitchen in her play yard for months. Whatever the case may be, when I asked if she wanted to help me with dinner last night, she was so enthused, you'd think I had asked her if she wanted to go to the circus! And so I set a tray of asparagus on the floor and taught her how to snap them at their ends to trim off the hard inedible stalks. It took only a few tries before she became a pro.

My happy sous chef

Sophie's also been helping us with the laundry-- transferring the wet clothes into the dryer and emptying the dry clothes into the laundry basket-- and she absolutely loves it :) I think a lot of it has to do with being allowed in the basement, which for the longest time has been The Place Into Which You Shall Not Descend, so there's that element of mystery and excitement. But I also think that Sophie genuinely enjoys doing these chores because it makes her feel valued and important. We always pile on the praise when she does her part and tell her what a good job she's done. We've also been using her potty training chart as a general chore chart so every time she does a task well-- like puts her books away or helps with the laundry-- we give her a gold star :)

We're still working on small chores so no folding laundry (too tricky) or any actually cleaning (too daunting) any time soon. It's not like we're depending on Sophie to get housework done but it's a good start. She's learning what it's like to be part of a team — in this case, family — that relies on and values her contributions and hopefully, she'll pick up some good habits along the way too :)

We made bread

It started out with wanting to do some kind of Valentine's Day project with Sophie. Jude was going to be away for most of the weekend at a workshop on campus so I thought it would be kind of fun for us to make something that we could then share with him when he was done on Sunday. And of course, being who I am, all the different ideas invariably involved food of some sort. But I didn't want to make candy or chocolate since Sophie can't have most of the ingredients. Then I chanced upon this recipe from the New York Times for No-Knead Bread. Sophie loves bread and I couldn't think of anything more perfectly soulful and heartwarming than baking our own bread for Valentine's Day :)

I've actually never made bread-- something about the whole intricate measuring and complicated kneading intimidated me (and still does, to some degree). But this recipe is brilliant and so fuss-free and easy, a two-year can do it... And so ours did (with some help, of course).

I let Sophie mix all the ingredients together on Saturday:

In goes the yeast and salt

Mixing like a champion

I told her we had to wait a day for the dough to rise before we could bake it and she insisted on watching the rising in action. She stared at the bowl for five intense minutes. It was very cute :)

The next day, I folded the risen dough on itself (which took all of ten seconds- I'm not kidding), let it rise one more time under a kitchen towel, then literally threw it into a heated Dutch oven, and into the oven. And the results: thin, crunchy brown crust, large, open holes. The bread is slightly chewy, flavorful and with absolutely perfect texture.

Quite a thing of beauty

When it came out of the oven, Sophie wanted to cut into it immediately. She was so adorably excited about the bread that "she" had made, she could barely sit or stand still in her play yard as she waited for it to cool. And when I did cut into it, I knew without tasting it that Sophie and I had made a delicious loaf of bread-  the snap and crunch of the crust gave way to tender, spongy body. We sat together at the table, my hands still with traces of flour, and had a wonderful moment of just enjoying the bread that we made together. I had bought some good butter in anticipation of our homemade bread and slathered my slices with it. Perfection. Sophie-- the bread fiend-- had three thick slices. One after another, she asked for more. Plain and unadorned, just as it was. "My bread is delicious, Mama. It's so fluffy!" she declared happily.

So there- Valentine's Day weekend and my daughter and I baked together for the first time. And it was great :)

Our little bread fiend on her third slice of bread

Duck tales

This morning , as we were driving across Huron River/Gallup Park where we were at last week, Sophie noticed that the river is now frozen. Which then motivated this conversation:

Sophie: Mama, look- the river is frozen!
Me: Yes it is Sophie. Because it's really cold.
Sophie: Where did the ducks go?
Me: Where do you think they went? Do you think they're still in the river?
Sophie: No, it's too cold for them. They went somewhere where it's warmer.
Me: That's right. Maybe somewhere down south.

(after a couple of minutes of silence...)

Sophie: Our car is warmer. The ducks can fly here. One duck can sit here, and one can sit in front with you. And one duck can sit on Dada's lap. And one can sit here with me. Ok? That's a very special idea I think.

Feeding the ducks, geese, and swans last week

So tight

At Gallup Park last weekend

[As I was putting her to bed tonight]

Sophie: Mama, do you love me?
Me: Of course I do, silly goose.
Sophie: How much?
Me: Mama loves you very very much. How much do you love me?
Sophie: So tight. So so tight...

I can't read!

As I was getting ready the other morning, I asked Sophie to pick a book to read while she waited for me. These days, this is our go-to thing for her to do whenever we need a small window of time to do something. She's always more than happy to spend time with her books and is usually happy looking through the pictures by herself. But that day, after a couple of minutes, she got upset and almost started to cry, and then she whined-- almost helplessly-- "I can't read the words, Mama. I can't read the words!"

I wasn't quite sure what to do or say- I was pleasantly surprised at her self-awareness and understanding of what it means to read (i.e. we read the words and not just the pictures) and sort of amused at how genuinely sad she was that she can't make out the words. So I asked if she wanted to learn how to read the letters and words and she nodded. And so begins Project Read in our house :)

Jude and I are both big readers and we've read to Sophie constantly since the day she was born. As a result, she really loves her books. And I'm not just saying that in a "I have to tell people this so they'll think I'm a good parent" way- Sophie honestly adores her books and loves to read (there have been times when she'd rather read than eat). And for that, I'm thankful. If I could choose one trait of mine that she would take with her to adulthood it would be this one. You cannot overestimate how a love for reading can change a life.

[Click for more photos of Sophie with her books]

1. Reading on the way to Costco, 2. Reading at Target, 3. At the orthotics clinic, 4. Early morning book with Grandpa, 5. Child-sized chintz reading armchair!, 6. Open flap, 7. Spending the morning with books from the library, 8. At Barnes and Noble, 9. I can read a book that's bigger than my face!

Sounds of laughter, shades of life

Sometimes, I look at Sophie and I think, I can't possibly love this child anymore than I do right now.

And then, the next moment I realize, I can.



We will laugh together like this until I'm an old, old woman.