Top 10 signs you know you're a parent of a newborn

1) You wear your glasses to bed to save that few seconds when you wake up for the nth time to soothe your whimpering offspring.
2) You discover you're actually able to shower and be clean in half the time it used to take you.
3) You believe that diapering should be an Olympic sport.
4) As should swaddling.
5) You've mastered the art of being almost fully functional while half-asleep.
6) You're more diligent with recording the frequency of feeds and number of wet and dirty diapers than you've ever been with balancing your checkbook or doing your taxes.
7) You wonder why you ever needed to carry a separate purse when everything you need really fits into just one pocket of the diaper bag.
8) Your idea of a good night's sleep is when you wake up twice instead of four times.
9) When you say "Moby", you mean the baby sling, not Richard Melville Hall.
10) Staring at a person who can't quite communicate with you yet is the most satisfying thing in the world...