I want you back

Sophie's first icepop is a pedialyte icepop :(
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

It's like she's a tiny baby all over again- awake for only a couple of hours at a time, a liquids-only diet, frequent clothing and diaper changes, inactive, and wanting to be held all the time. Sophie's down with a vicious stomach bug and my heart aches just looking at her all listless and despondent. She's been vomiting for more than 24-hours now and not keeping down much of the breast-milk I've been pumping and giving her through the sippy cup. I can't nurse her because her tummy's too sensitive to be taking too much liquid at any one time. We've also been giving her Pedialyte which she doesn't like as much but seems to be doing a better job of keeping down.

A stomach flu is a high-maintenance illness- since Wednesday night, we've done laundry five times (and that's a feat considering we don't have our own washer and dryer right now- that's a lot of quarters...), and cleaned and disinfected the kitchen floor, bathroom floor, kitchen sink, counter- and tabletops, and various parts of the carpet around the house so many times I've lost count. It would seem that our daughter applies the same gusto to puking as she does to all other matters of life. I'm not feeling quite myself either (feverish with a sore throat) and add my unforgiving dissertation deadline to the mix, you can imagine what a nerve-wrecking couple of days we've been having. But that's nothing compared to the emotional stress of looking at how sick Sophie is. There's no trace of the lovable, rambunctious hellion that she really is. She's in energy conservation mode right now so she's just sort of lethargic and limp all the time. She also doesn't want to be put down, hasn't been crawling, hasn't smiled, chattered, or laughed in 12 hours. And she actually laid still for a diaper change this morning- something she hasn't done in more than 4 months. And this all breaks our hearts. I get teary just watching her loll around the bed and then plonk herself face down because she has no energy to finish turning over. I hate getting a stomach flu myself and can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be for a one-year old. But most of all, it's the helplessness I can't stand. Apart from keeping her hydrated and holding her close whenever she she wants to, there's nothing else I can do to make her feel better. And that just sucks.

I miss my baby's spunk, her sass, even her screaming... Yes, even her screaming. That's how badly I want her to get better.