Just because we're not home...

...doesn't mean Sophie doesn't get to wish everyone 恭喜发财, 老虎年快乐!
Happy Lunar New Year!!

Daddy's home

Daddy's home
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

Jude's home. And all is good in the world again :)

I have to say, parenting alone these last 6 days has given me revived respect for single parents or people who raise their children without their partners nearby. I can only imagine the patience and fortitude it takes. It was a tad overwhelming, I have to admit, looking after Sophie alone, even with daycare thrown in. It didn't help that of all the weekends in Month 6, Sophie chose the weekend Daddy wasn't around to have her 6-month growth spurt AND to start teething. She was ravenous, nursing almost every 2 hours including through the night, was especially clingy and needy, and didn't sleep well. I was constantly hungry and thirsty from feeding her so much (during one of her naps, I swear I downed half a carton of juice and half a banana bread...) and thoroughly exhausted from her night wakings. During a particularly fussy 3am feeding when Sophie simultaneously tried to nurse while screaming her little lungs out from what I imagine were her gums aching AND after having already fed her 3 times since I put her down to sleep at 7.30pm, I thought I was going to lose it...

Thankfully, that went as quickly as it came and she was back to her normal feeding schedule after a day and a half. Her onesies have gotten a tad snug after the milk fest and she seems a little longer too... We have her 6-month check-up tomorrow so we'll see how much she's grown. The teething saga continued though and she was still a little fussy at bedtime. But for some reason, tonight's been a lot better- she's seems calmer almost and put herself to sleep after waking up crying. I'd like to think that she somehow gets that her Daddy's home and that things are back to normal. She was constantly craning her neck to look at Jude while I was nursing her before bedtime; it was as if she was checking to make sure that he was still around and not going anywhere anytime soon. Plus Daddy and her clocked in some good snuggles this evening when we came home after playgroup to find Jude waiting for us. She shot him the widest smile ever and it was so very, very sweet... Yes punkin', your Daddy's home :)

This does not bode well for her developing a taste for ice-kacang...

1. I'm not sure about this, Sandra..., 2. Ok, just one bite..., 3. Here goes!..., 4. Ewwww... ppppft!

Snow day!

1. Alright Lucy, let's do this together!, 2. Many firsts!!!, 3. All comfy in her sled, 4. Hanging out with Lucy in the snow

In anticipation of Valentine's Day

I'm so loving this simple, charming, surprising, and just all-round lovely Google ad that played during the Superbowl on Sunday night. It manages to capture more heart in 52 seconds than most Holllywood romantic comedies do in 120 minutes. And as I sit here at my desk at home, with the house all to myself for the first time in 6 months, the video's also making me miss the other two-thirds of me quite a little bit...

Guess who got a surprise "birthday" party?

It was meant to be an innocent play date with the Pothen ladies. Jude's in Savannah for a conference and so we thought it would be good for us to schedule a couple of play dates this weekend to get Sophie out and about and not missing her Daddy. And so imagine our (okay, my) surprise when we arrive at Liz & Dan's to find that they'd planned a party of sorts to celebrate Sophie turning 6-months old tomorrow!! It was such an unbelievably sweet gesture and I appreciate it so very very much! There were Happy Birthday balloons on the wall, a string of balloons spelling out Sophie's name, they had brought out all their soft toys so Sophie could play with them, and Divya even dressed up in her princess outfit most appropriate for a celebration :) And there were also birthday waffles with homemade blueberry sauce that Dan made- a treat it would seem just for the special occasion. In return, Sophie busted out all her smiles, giggles, and laughs and dispensed them generously to everyone who came into her line of vision :) I'm sure she felt very loved and everyone had a terrific time. Thanks SO MUCH, Liz, Dan, Hannah, & Divya!! :)


1. It was a playdate that turned into a surprise 6-month birthday party for Sophie!!, 2. Hannah hugs, 3. Sweet girls :), 4. Guess who's sitting up on her own??!!, 5. How nice!, 6. Smiles all round, 7. Party hat for the "birthday girl", 8. Chaneling the Slim Shady, 9. Birthday waffles!

School(house) rocks!

I love school- I really do! I don't know why Mama and Daddy were sad the first day they dropped me off- Gretchen's House is so awesome and I love all my friends and teachers there. See me here getting my feet all squishy with paint for feet-painting- I had so much fun! Mom so needs to get some of these for the house so I can start channeling my inner Jackson Pollock :)


And my baby friends are too cool- I mean, I love Mama and Daddy and all, but sometimes, they just don't *get* me... Pooping, eating my toes, the pleasures of burping milk- what do they know? Lucy, Payton, and Isabel on the other hand- we have long, involved conversations about the best way to chew on our socks every time we do some tummy time together. Girlfriends- they rock.




Let's not forget my teachers- Sandra plays silly games with me and Erin's the best when it comes to changing my diapers. I've gotten really used to them now and love giving them "Good morning" smiles whenever I see them in the morning. They both call me "Soph" and give me the awesomest cuddles when I'm missing Daddy and Mama.



Apparently, my teachers think I'm doing really good in school too. This is what they wrote in my daily report yesterday (which made my parents really proud...):

"Sophie had another terrific day! She's been doing great with her naps! For her 2nd and 3rd naps of the day, we just laid her in her crib when she started to act tired and she put herself right to sleep. We're so proud of her! Also, Sophie's been such a social butterfly. Today, she joined us for a small staff meeting. She just sat with us quiet and alert the whole time like she was part of the meeting!"

I'm not sure what a social butterfly is-- is it any different from a regular butterfly?-- but from the way Mama was beaming, I'm thinking it's not a bad thing. So yes, school- I'm loving it. My parents hope this bodes well for my prospects of higher education, which I guess is where I go to learn how to count. For now though, I'm still working on sitting up on my own...

The beginning of the end

The last time Lost was on TV...
1) The weather outside was above 50 degrees.
2) We slept 8- to 10-hour stretches uninterrupted.
3) Frozen milk was a foreign concept.
4) I cooked.
5) Sophie was the size of a cauliflower.

Alright, bring it on...

[click for enlarged version of this awesome Last Supper-esque teaser pic]

Our weekend

It was just one of those weekends- exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. On the yucky side, Jude and I both came down with a vicious stomach flu. Friday night saw me slouched in the bathroom, practically hugging the toilet as I threw my entire dinner out, and then some... Let's just say, macaroni tastes a lot better going down than coming up. I barely slept Friday night and was too queasy and weak to even support Sophie for her night feeds. Jude had to carry her and bring her to me in bed. We thought we might have to mobilize our emergency stash of breastmilk in the freezer since I couldn't keep anything- food or liquids-- down and was worried that I wouldn't be producing enough milk; but thank god, that never happened. I saw the doctor but she said there's basically nothing she could give me that wouldn't in turn affect Sophie so I just had to let my immune system kick in get me better on its own. And so the weekend saw Jude and I 1) eating a copious amount of toast which was the only thing that settled in our stomachs that didn't threaten to propel itself back out; and 2) sneaking in as much sleep as we could-- whenever Sophie slept, we all slept. As Jude said, "A family that naps together stays together..." ;)

On the plus side though, Sophie decided that this was the weekend to accomplish a whole bunch of exciting developmental milestones!: 1) She can now sit unassisted for a few seconds (!) before veering to one side and falling headlong onto her toes (then proceeding to chew on her sock...); 2) She's finally rolling from stomach to back, which makes me so relieved since she's been taking to sleeping on her tummy and at least now I know she can roll back if she needs to; 3) She's taking to solid foods ravenously like her parents always suspected she would; 4) She's now moved on to her Stage 3 Adiri bottles as she nears her 6-month birthday; and 5) We think she's comprehending our ASL sign for "up"- every time we're about to pick her up, we sign "up" so that she associates the sign with the action. She always looks intently at our hands so we hope she can soon sign that back to us whenever she wants to be picked up. We'll also be working on "milk" and "more"- wish us luck on that! Imagine how much I had to write on her chart when we dropped her off at school today just so her teachers can take note of them as she goes about her day :)

We're loving every second of Sophie turning 6-months- everyday is a discovery, some new thing she's doing- a new expression, some new sound, a new gesture, and of course the many, many smiles, giggles and cuddles she's been generously dispensing these past few weeks. It blows my mind just thinking of all the profoundly wondrous processes that are going through her little brain and body every second of the day as they help her mature. It must take so much out of her. Just getting over a bug knocked her Mama out the entire weekend but our pumpkin not only accomplished so much but still managed to stay beautiful and adorable while doing it! Go sunshine- you rock our world!

What we do on a Saturday morning around here

Sophie vs. solid food- take one.

I'm not sure why organic rice ground down to a powder, then cooked into a puree with milk, counts as a solid, but apparently it is, and Sophie lapped it all up today :) Thanks to her Bumkins bib, two damp towels, an adorable feeding set from Debra, and our sturdy Stokke highchair, Sophie's first solid food experience was as fun (and hopefully satisfying) for her to enjoy as it was for us to watch. We knew our daughter would take to solid food easily, but no one told us how messily- the bib was practically eating as much rice cereal as she was and so our greedy little pumpkin was simultaneously trying to eat out of the spoon as well as off the bib... It was hilarious- you had to be there :)

BFFs

Sophie, meet Isabel. Isabel, meet Sophie.

1. Hey good lookin'!, 2. Smooch!, 3. Coming in for a kiss, 4. *nom nom nom*

Isabel's about 4 months older than Sophie and sitting up pretty well on her own. I think her initial plan was to give Sophie a smooch on the forehead but it somehow evolved into a full-on open-mouth slobber over the head instead... Heehee...

And *that's* what friends are for :)

Guess what our daughter was up to in school today?

From the daily note we get from her teachers:
"Sophie had another great day in Cozy Cove! She really enjoyed sitting up in the Bumbo chair and chatting at her reflection in the mirror. Sophie also explored painting with her feet! Sophie mixed paint colors with her toes and explored the texture of the paint as her feet slipped around!"

We actually did see Sophie's "masterpiece" drying in the classroom and we'll bring it home with us tomorrow :) As for the whole talking to her reflection thing, wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation?:
Sophie to mirror: Well, hello. You sure have a big head. And no hair. Wow, you *really* have no hair. I like to sit in the Bumbo too. And I have one at home. Do you? So do you hang around these parts often? Aren't Erin and Sandra just awesome? Did I tell you have a big head? I like to drink milk. And poop.

My loves...

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
On the day that you were born
and the angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true

So they sprinkled moon dust
in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
- "Close to You", The Carpenters

Sophie goes to daycare

I think it was harder on us than it was for her. I held my tears in till we got in the car and Jude admitted that he teared up a little too. It was the first time she would be apart from us both for such an extended period. But Sophie seemed just fine and dandy when we said goodbye- she was being held by Erin, her primary caregiver, had a chew-toy in her hand, and was probably too curious about her new surroundings to realize that she wasn’t going to see Mama and Daddy till 5pm.

After dropping Sophie off, Jude and I went for breakfast- Date #2!- and in between mouthfuls of pancakes, all I could think of was if she was ok, whether she’d play well with her teachers and new friends, whether she missed us, or had any idea what this whole daycare business is. Then I got a phone call from Sandra, the other teacher in Sophie’s family room who just wanted to update us on how Sophie was doing: she assured us that Sophie was doing fine, snuggled with her teachers for a bit and was down for her nap already, right on time as if she were home. It was a welcomed phone call and reinforced in us that we made the right choice in sending Sophie to Gretchen’s House. I can now see why they come so highly recommended and why everyone we know who has had some experience with them loves them so much. They’re really committed to making both the children and families feel safe and comfortable. Like how we were greeted with a little poster welcoming Sophie to daycare and that reassuring phone call in the morning.

And when we picked her up in the evening, we saw on the door of the classroom a collage of pictures of Sophie throughout the day!

We even got a little report on the number of diapers she went through (1 wet, 4 poopy), how she drank her milk (finished all her bottles), and how her naps went (three 45 minute naps). This is what else her teacher wrote:

Sophie had such a great first day! We really enjoyed getting to know her and it seems like she really enjoyed her time here. Sophie snuggled her teachers and made sounds with the other babies. Sophie also explored the classroom toys and even went on a stroller ride through the school. See you tomorrow!

Sophie was in a great mood when we arrived, playing her Erin and rolling on the floor with her new friend, Lucy. We were told she did good on her first day and that after a little bout of anxiety waking up from her first nap and going slow with her first bottle, everything went smooth-sailing all day. We missed her so much and it was just wonderful to see that she was fine and happy while we were apart.

Like our friend Wendy said, it was an emotionally complex day- feeling sad and guilty for leaving her there, but also glad and comforted that she’s in such good hands and doing well away from us. At the end of the day, we think this is a good thing for everyone- Jude and I can get work done and graduate soon, while Sophie gets the developmentally appropriate interaction and stimulation she needs. We saw how much the month-long trip home and all that interaction with family and friends really helped Sophie’s maturity, especially her verbal skills, and we’re sure the awesome care she’s getting Gretchen’s House will be really good for her too.

So it's 3.10am on a Sunday...

We've been back in Ann Arbor since Thursday night although it doesn't quite feel like three days. The days have sort of melted into each other with loads of sleeping (Sophie especially) blurring our nights and days. The little one's actually doing remarkably well considering the circumstances- the flight home was looooong (we calculated, door to door, with two connections, it took us just under 30 hours to get from my parents' in Singapore to our place in AA) but Sophie slept through most of it (in our arms again- she has deemed the bassinet such a thing of the 2000s...). Our daughter was a real trooper, barely crying throughout the flights and was even forgiving enough to let us eat our meals (most of them anyway) fairly successfully (grilled chicken with linguine- good; yakisoba- not). We even managed to watch a couple of movies while she slept soundly (All About Steve-ok; Four Christmases- not so much). She didn't even fuss during our frantic mad dash to make our connection in Atlanta or when we had to wait at the Detroit airport for an hour because Delta had inexplicably put our luggages on THREE separate flights (we only got all our bags on Friday morning...) All in all, I would say Sophie's on her way to being quite the international jet-setter :)

The house is pretty much the same as we left it, albeit tens of degrees colder. Right now, our bags are understandably still unpacked and we only managed to do a grocery run today (while surviving on take-out, frozen food, and believe it or not, black sesame premixed paste the last two days). After tomorrow's trip to Target, and when Sophie starts daycare on Tuesday and we can properly unpack, I think we'll be able to get a better hold over things. It still feels a little odd not having family hovering around us, offering to watch Sophie while we eat or shower or read the papers, having the grandparents coo over her all the time, or the aunts and uncle showering her with their affectionate attention. Remarkably, when we Skyped with my parents and sis today, Sophie seemed to recognize them and was more than happy to smile and squeal at them like she's been doing the past month back in Singapore. I was afraid that something about the computer would get in the way of her remembering them, but nope, she responded to their chuckles and calls as if they were right in front of her. It was really sweet to watch :) We're going to keep the Skyping up just so Sophie will always be aware of family in Singapore- just because we are thousands of miles away geographically doesn't mean she shouldn't always be reminded of how much she's loved back home...

I will remember

In sixteen years, during a bout of adolescent rebellion and hormonal upheaval, when Sophie tells me she hates me and accuses me of ruining her life because I refuse to let her go to the prom with a boy named Spikebomb or leave the house in whatever inappropriate attire teenagers in 2026 deem fashionable, remind me that there was a time in her life when I was the center of her universe, when afternoons spent cuddling and snuggling with me was the highlight of the day, and when her reaching out and drawing me into her kisses was one of the most beautiful and profound things her mother has ever experienced.

If I loved our daughter any more, I think I might fall apart...

Our sick bunny

Sophie's sick :( And I hate it. I hate that I can't do anything to drain the phlegm from her windpipe, I hate that I can't soothe her throat that must be hurting from the coughing, and I hate that I can't communicate to her that the medicine she resists taking will make her feel better.

More importantly, I'm incensed at the first pediatrician we visited on Wednesday when Sophie first showed signs of a cough. She prescribed a whole cocktail of medications that made me feel like our daughter was deathly ill and used a bunch of obtuse medical terms to describe a condition I'm quite sure Sophie didn't have. We were nervous enough as it was, and really didn't need to be made more anxious by the doctor's need to show us that she can use big words. Our daughter expresses one cough every three hours- does she really need an antihistamine? And not only did Sophie not get better, it's almost as if her cough got worse after. After a full day of hacking, phlegmy cough and several bouts of crying yesterday, we decided to get a second opinion this morning. Lo and behold, we were told to literally throw away half the medicines we now have! It turns out that Doctor #1 is quite the alarmist and prescribed meds more suited for a chronically asthmatic child with allergies. Our daughter just has a cough!! Today, we got just good ol' cough syrup and something for her phlegm, were told she'll continue to cough over the next couple of days to expectorate the phlegm and clear her throat, and were thoughtfully and sensibly assured that she'll better on the mend in no time. Thanks Dr. Hew- you were always good with Sam and now Sophie loves you too.

In the meantime though, we've had to postpone our flight back to AA. We were supposed to leave on Monday but it would be 1) tough on Sophie, and 2) nerve-wrecking and socially irresponsible of us to travel when both Sophie and Jude are ill. Also, in light of tighter TSA regulations, who knows if we'll be able to bring Sophie's meds on board so we'd rather her be well before the flight. We're crossing our fingers that this 27-hour journey will be as relatively painless as our last...

Having a sick child at home is no fun, having a sick child and a sick husband, even less so. But at least we're with family and there's plenty of care, cuddles, and homemade barley water to go around... :)

[Oh, and world, Sam says hi! :)]

2010 New Year resolutions

1) Eat more vegetables (I think I've made this resolution every year since I was 12).
2) Get a jogging stroller and re-start some kind of running routine (The last time I ran was a week after I completed the Half. These days, workout is rocking a 5-month old to sleep).
3) Not freak out when Season 1 of Glee and the entire series of Lost ends in May. I may be inconsolable.
4) Be better about bringing our own bags to the store, recycling, and taking the bus.
5) Not hoard library books.
6) Practice yoga again. Mommy-baby yoga :)
7) Finish writing my dissertation (Please self, please...).
8) Love this little person with everything my soul can muster.

"Us" time

In the end, it was definitely well worth our while. Jude and I were planning our first date night in 5 months (yay for parents and sisters!) and it was a toss-up between Avatar in 3D (there's no way we'd be able to make it to the theatres for this in AA and watching it on video would have been pointless...) or Bodyguards and Assassins, a Hong Kong movie about a little known assassination plot against Dr. Sun Yat-Sen (it'll be next to impossible to catch this anywhere else but in Chinese-speaking Asia.) We eventually went with Avatar and Mr. Cameron did not disappoint. The plot-- while a little predictable-- was actually stronger than expected, and the CG and special effects, truly (and literally), other-worldly. After a while, I almost forgot we were watching it in 3D (but only just almost since we were 3 rows from the front and I had a throbbing head and neck ache from watching through those glasses) which I guess is testimony to how seamless James Cameron made the medium and its subject. I really felt I was watching movie history in the making, and some new frontier in film production being carved...

I enjoyed the movie a lot, but was also very conscious of the phone in my pocket, anticipating a buzz from home any minute telling me that Sophie's having a meltdown and that we needed to race home stat. But that never came. Instead I get messages from my dad and sis about be how soundly she was sleeping. Such a relief :) But my heart still wasn't a hundred percent on the film nor on the supper we had after (which partly had to do with how sub-par it was...)- I was missing our baby so much... When we finally got home and I was holding her in my arms again, it was like homecoming even though it had only been 4 hours since we left. I needed to see her cherubic face, needed to nuzzle in her scent, kiss her sweet cheeks, and feel her snuggling in my arms. I almost didn't want to put her down and told myself it was because if I did she would cry. But on hindsight, it was probably more for my comfort than anything else.

Looks like going on a date will never be the same for Jude and I anymore. It was really nice to get out for some long-delayed "us" time, and now, even nicer to know that a different kind of "us" time would be waiting for us when we get home... :)

Our year in Sophie

1. Sushi!, 2. Yew(s) are..., 3. Yew(s) are pregnant!!!, 4. Ultrasound, 5. Journaling to Baby before bed, 6. @ 23 weeks, 7. 30 secs in this world, 8. First of many family portraits, 9. Is that a smile?, 10. The doting grandparents falling in love, 11. This is how a one-month old looks like :), 12. Hanging out with her new friend, Moosey, 13. In Daddy's arms, 14. IMG_7080, 15. IMG_7140, 16. The whole family!

A year ago tonight, I celebrated New Year's Eve 2008 with Jude and our friends over copious amounts of spicy tuna sushi and champagne. The next day, on New Year's Day 2009, we found out we were pregnant. And my first thought? That I had irreparably poisoned our unborn child with all that alcohol and raw fish...

A year later, Sophie is a delightful 12lbs bundle, with lungs of steel and a smile that can put a song in your heart. And none the worse for wear from her mother's indulgence 355 days ago. From that day on, Sophie has been the gift that keeps on giving. Whether it's the gift of nausea when she was a 2-month fetus, her first kick at 4 months, intestinal acrobatics at the Sonic Youth concert at 7 months, rendering me practically immobile at 8 months, or the 23-hour labor leading up to her birth, we knew Sophie was going to be a feisty one, even as a fetus. And now, as an almost 5-month old, she brightens up our days and (literally) livens up our nights. Our peanut is no longer a peanut, her cries, no longer whimpers (not that they ever have been), and when she looks into your eyes, it's not with the blankness of a mere creature in need, but with a deep human awareness and desire for communication and affection.

Our lives will no longer be the same because of her, because of our love for her, and hopefully, her love for us. She's the most precious, special, and profound thing 2009 has bestowed on us and we will always remember this past year as the most beautiful 12 months of our lives.

Thank you 2009, you've been great :)

Great-grandma

Some of my fondest memories of childhood are spending Saturdays at my grandma's in Bukit Ho Swee. My aunts and cousins all gathered for the lunch my grandma would make and while the adults caught up with each other on their week, my cousins and I indulged in the kind of carefree whimsy and mischief I can only hope Sophie will be able to enjoy with her cousins one day. The image of my grandma looms large in these memories- she of that kind face and doting disposition. I remember her constant laughter, perfectly coiffed hair, and gentle affection for all her grandchildren. These days, as she ages into her eighties, she doesn't always remember us all anymore. Over the past six years, seeing her only once or twice a year constantly reminds me how old she now is- her body becoming thinner and more frail, her posture and gait weakening. But the light and laughter are not gone from her eyes. Nor is the desire to painstakingly maintain her beautiful perm every week. I visited her with Sophie yesterday and while she probably doesn't remember me very well, and I had to tell her several times that Sophie's a girl and not a boy, she responded to Sophie the same way I remember her looking at me when I was a child- always with a smile. She could even say that Sophie looks just like Jude, no mean feat for someone who sometimes can't recognize her children's faces...


I'm glad Sophie got to meet her great-grandmother. It was a beautiful visit, seeing the youngest member of the family meet the oldest. It was also a little sad, looking at how much my grandma has aged while Sophie's little life has only just begun. I know how trite and hackneyed it is to evoke the whole circle of life thing but it was hard not to think that as I watched my 20-week old daughter and 87 year old grandmother in the same room.


When Sophie's older, I'll remind her of her great-grandma. And how much she loved me. I will tell her how special a grandmother's love is and impart to her one of life's greatest wisdoms I learned from her- a woman should always take care of her hair...

My first Christmas...

was so very exciting indeed! I was told that there would be presents and I could barely contain my anticipation! See me here getting ready for the big reveal :)

My first Christmas present was a cool new toy from Daddy and Mama to help me practice my skills with shapes.

I had to chew it first to make sure it was tasty, i.e. quality control.

Many people I had never met before were really happy to see me. Daddy and Mama tells me that they're family. I really like them coz I got plenty of hugs and kisses all round :)

See how much love I'm getting?

I must be a really lucky little girl. I didn't just get many presents this Christmas but also got showered tons of good loving from everyone around me. It made the 27-hour flight to this very hot country and the eczema that was exploding all over my body so worth it!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas too!

Sophie wishes everyone a very Merry Christmas from Singapore!

Breakfast Club

[In another time, this post would have been accompanied by relevant photos. But I seem to have stopped taking pictures of food altogether and almost exclusively take photos of Sophie, so tough...]

Back in Ann Arbor, my typical breakfasts (yes, plural- a combination of Sophie's early wake-up time and breastfeeding makes me ravenous in the morning and I usually have two breakfasts before noon...) involve some combination of bagel/cream cheese, cereal, toast/jam/peanut butter, or oatmeal. That fills me up pretty well and one breakfast takes me from 7.30 to about 10.00, and the other from 10.00 till whenever lunch is. Breakfast in Singapore, on the other hand, is a whole other ball game altogether. There are few other countries in the world where grease is an almost requisite ingredients in the nation's favorite breakfast foods. Since we've been home, my first meal of the day has consisted of:
Tuesday: Fried beehoon (rice vermicelli) and chai tow kway (fried carrot cake, a.k.a. Greasebomb Central)
Wednesday: Nasi Lemak (coconut rice with fried fish and otak)
Thursday: 2 pieces of savory bread richly and generously studded with dried pork jerky (bah-kwa)
Friday: Wonton mee (with what I'm sure was a bucketful of lard)
Saturday: Prawn mee soup, rice porridge, boiled chicken, and wonton soup

I'm telling myself that as a nursing mother, the exponential increase in my caloric intake is forgivable and perhaps necessary (heh...) and that I've lost all my pregnancy weight plus two pounds. Although I suspect by the end of this trip, I may not be able to say that anymore... ;)

One of the three of us does not have jetlag

And it's neither Jude nor I. Believe it or not, Sophie's internal clock pretty much re-calibrated itself and she's already back to her regular schedule since Day 2. Her Daddy & Mama on the other hand are still groggy by 7pm and up and about at 4 in the morning checking mail and uploading photos. She's clearly made of sterner stuff than us both...

Which is also why I think the flight home went better than we expected. Oh, there were the shrieks at take-off and landing despite my dutiful attempts to nurse her, and that one time during the Detroit-Tokyo leg when she decided to time a fuss moment with meal time and Jude and I had to maneuver a Cirque du Soleil while trying to finish our very dismal teriyaki chicken with fried rice while not squirting cocktail sauce all over each other and Sophie. Yes, we did have the bassinet for both legs of the journey, but No, our daughter did not take to them very well. She slept for about an hour in the first, and barely at all in the second. Basically, for the entire time between Tokyo and Singapore, Sophie slept in "Mama's Arm" Class and there was barely any feeling left between by left shoulder and elbow by the time we landed. But honestly, Sophie did good and only cried probably about 30 mins spread across the entire 21-hour journey, which I guess is more than can be expected for a child who has the lungs of Kiri Te Kanawa and isn't afraid to let you know.

I have to say though that landing in Changi Airport this time has got to be the most exhilarating of the many times I've done so in the past 6 years. Not only was the family jumping for joy at first sight of Sophie, our brother-in-law, Piao, was armed with his fancy camera, documenting each emotion, from anticipation to delight. It's been wonderful being home and just watching everyone from Jude's and my parents, to my grandparents fall in love with Sophie. Our little girl has everyone wrapped around her teeny little finger and with just one smile and gurgle from her, in my dad's words, "...the heart just melts" :)

1. The grandparents wait in anticipation, 2. Sophie has been spotted!, 3. Through the looking glass, 4. IMG_7055, 5. Smothered with love, 6. IMG_7080, 7. It was 2.30 in the morning and the whole house was up, 8. Sam's first diapering experience, 9. Auntie Sam LOVES Sophie!

Starved

Looking at the way our daughter is going to town with that burp cloth, you'd think we were depriving her of real food.



And please note that the little yelp she lets out in the beginning of the video is just a modest 1% of what she's really capable of- passengers on NW0341 and NW0321, you've been duly forewarned. Brace yourselves...

Counting down to home #2

Things to do before we leave:
1) Return library books
2) Clean house (don't ask- I just feel like we can't leave behind a dirty house.)
3) Do laundry. Just so we have clean clothes to bring home and not have soiled clothes festering for a month.
4) Empty Diaper Genie (what's worse than festering soiled clothes? Festering soiled diapers.)
5) Hold mail
6) Suspend NYT Sunday Edition
7) Clear kitchen of anything perishable (note to self: must finish the container of fresh peanut butter, two heads of romaine lettuce, and packet of Havarti cheese. Not necessarily together.)
8) Download NVivo off our home server so I can do some data coding and analysis for my dissertation at home.
9) Unplug all electrical appliances (who knows what kind of craziness might happen from power outages during winter storms)
10) Find time to pack...

Counting down to home #1

We're counting down 4 days to our flight home, and 5-half days to actually being home. I think we're going to have to start packing *tomorrow* if we want to be ready in time- it's not like we can set aside an hour randomly to pack anymore, plus there's so much of Sophie's things to pack that I'm sure I'm going to forget something if we do this on Saturday. We're really looking forward to the month-long stay at home; the flight though, we're not so sure. On the one hand, I have visions of Sophie terrorizing everyone on NW0341 for hours with her screams so much that we'll need to disembark under protection or risk having used air-sickness bags thrown at us; on the other, I'm praying she'll surprise us and sleep like a dream through most of the two flights (13 hours + 7 hours). Maybe the vibrations on the plane will feel like her bouncer- *sigh* one can only hope... We've decided we're going to dress her up in her cutest outfit possible and pray that the people in the seats next to and behind us, and the flight attendants will fall in love with her before she goes all Tasmanian Devil on us.

Essentials to pack for the flight (or so I've been told- thanks Dot!):
1) Some kind of infant carrier. Because we're going to have to put Sophie's brace on at some point during the flight, it's going to have to be the Bjorn (although we're bring both the Ergo and Moby home too- we like them better)
2) Surprise toy(s). Apparently, the element of surprise will grab Sophie's attention enough to distract her for at least a while)
3) Comfort toy(s). For when the novelty of the surprise toy wears off and she wants something familiar.
4) 2 changes of clothes. For those poop-tastic moments she's having much of lately.
5) As many diapers as our Timbuk2 bag can hold (see #4)
6) My Bebe au Lait nursing cover. I suspect I'm going to have to feed her often just to keep her sucking and relieve the pressure on her ears.
7) Several pacifiers. See #6.
6) Nothing for ourselves because we're going to be a) too busy tending to her to read/ do puzzles/ work/ play with the Nintendo DS; and b) gratefullly sleeping when we're not doing a).
7) A zen attitude and as calm a disposition as possible. We don't want any crankiness to rub off on Sophie!

Wish us luck!

Rockabye baby

Thank you, Bouncer- you've been good to us...
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

So- we've been trying out a new sleep program (or programs actually) with Sophie starting last week. And it's been a little trying. For the past 2 months or so, Sophie's only ever slept in her bouncer, even at nights. Something about the enclosed space and micro-vibrations really calmed and soothed her through her naps and night-sleep. She was actually sleeping well in her crib from birth but sometime in Month 2, she just refused to take to it and would cry for hours between 10.00 and midnight. We tried the Moby Wrap which worked really well until she moved to wearing the brace after her casts and then we were stumped again. We didn't really think about putting her in the bouncer at first because she didn't like it much when she was younger, but one nap, out of desperation, I put her in it, tucked a blanket around her, turned on the vibration, and voila!, she fell right asleep! It was like magic, and we were so proud of ourselves. While other parents were complaining about sleepless nights, not being able to get anything done, and their child waking up every hour, as long as she was in her bouncer, Sophie slept like an angel, from 8.30 to 7.30, waking up only once or twice to feed. Sometimes, I even had to check in on her just to make sure she was OK because she was sleeping so very soundly. Jude and I had time at night to do work, catch up with each other on our day, watch recorded episodes of Glee and Flashforward. All was good...

But as with all feelings of smugness, karma's a b*tch and payback was harsh... :( Sophie's finally outgrown the bouncer- she's getting to big for it, and her brace has started to tear a whole in the fabric from all the thrashing she does. Now what? Plus the impending trip home also means that Sophie needs to learn how to sleep motionlessly. So we figured this is about as good a time as any to transition her to the crib. We're not doing any kind of strict sleep training- Sophie's too young for that. But we are trying to get her to learn to self-soothe to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of nap or night-sleep, and also to get used to the crib. The past 3 or 4 days has had it's ups and downs- Sophie takes a really nice, long morning nap in the crib without fussing very much, but things just get progressing harder through the day, with the afternoon naps being really tricky. And don't even get me started on the nights... One thing's for sure: our daughter loves to cry. As in has a deep, elemental, and profound love for the very act of crying. And she's gotten good at it too. We're talking a loud, piercing, for-all-that-is-good-and-holy-woe-is-me-the-earth-is-ending mother of all cries. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called child protective services on us yet because if I were them, I'd be convinced someone was torturing the poor babe from the sounds of her wails. And for a barely 4 month old, boy does out daughter have stamina. She can go on for hours if you let her. At least we know her lungs and vocal chords are getting a good workout...

Tonight, we're trying something new (again...)- having me put her to sleep in my arms and sleeping with her for a while in our bed first. She's sound asleep right now and we'll move her to her crib later in the night. Hopefully, being surrounded by our scent in the bed will comfort her until she's deep in sleep. Despite what it seems, sleeping does not come easy to babies- the need to does, but the act of falling and staying asleep is a harder thing to do for them. It's a work in progress, and for now, we're all learning...

Happy feet!

Look guys, no brace!
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

After 2 and a half months of wearing the brace for 23 hours a day, we got the OK from Dr. Caird yesterday for Sophie to move to nighttime-only wear!! Jude and I were hopeful before the appointment but didn't want to bring it up- the possibility of a relapse was too terrifying so we agreed to defer to whatever Dr. Caird's professional opinion would be. And so when she suggested that we move to nighttime-only without our prodding, we were only too happy for words :) All that obsessive shoe-tying and re-tying was worth it, as was all that massaging during that one hour a day when Sophie had her foot free. Dr. Caird looked for suppleness and dorsiflexion (which is the movement which decreases the angle between the foot and the leg, so that the toes are brought closer to the shin) and on both counts, Sophie's doing superbly!

We don't want to stop being vigilant about her foot though so we decided that while we'll have her foot free for most of the day (so her left foot can catch up to her right, and to encourage her gross motor development), there will be days when we'll leave it on longer than others just in case. I've read too many stories of non-compliant parents whose children had to then start the whole process again from casting, and that would just be too devastating for us to even imagine... So while we're really ecstatic at Sophie's progress, we don't want to be complacent either.

As for the little trooper- see how happy she was to do tummy-time today without her brace :)

My first Thanksgiving...

1. Ursus curious about Sophie, 2. Showing Sophie the outside world, 3. Serene's Whole Wheat Stuffing with Pancetta, Chestnuts, and Parmesan, 4. A deep fried turkey is a beautiful thing, 5. Family Portrait Thanksgiving 09, 6. Jude grilling the scallops, 7. Rick & Emilee, 8. Serene's plate doth overfloweth ..., 9. Can I have some turkey too ... please?

...was fun! I didn't really know what Daddy, Mama, and their friends were celebrating though. There was just a lot of eating and many dogs in a house I had never been to. So I guess Thanksgiving is about dogs and food? I liked the dogs (Kumo, Ursus, Emmet, & Asher)- it was the first time I had seen them and they seemed to like me- sniffing me like I was the most interesting thing in the world (which I am, I know...). And the smells of all the cooking that was going on made me a little sad- all I got was Mama's milk, which is delicious, but from the smell of things, not as delicious as deep-fried turkey and all the other yummy stuff I saw on Mama and Daddy's plate. I really wanted some to try-- see bottom right photo-- but everyone ignored my plaintive expressions of need :(

I also saw Auntie Emilee and Uncle Rick again. They were the first of Daddy and Mama's friends to see me when they visited at the hospital. I like Uncle Rick. He's got nice hair. I shamelessly flirted with him all through Thanksgiving dinner by giving him lots of smiles. And then there was Auntie Beth, Auntie Emilee's sister. They both have such nice smiles- and they think I'm cute. So I really like them too :)

I think I did good on my first full-day social soiree- Mama and Daddy were clever enough to time the hour-long drive up to Haslett (20 minutes from East Lansing) with my morning nap; they brought my bouncer along so I could take naps in the guest bedroom; and they brought my PJs so that they could get me ready for bedtime there and then put me to sleep before driving home. My parents are so smart. I love them so much... :)

I hope everyone in the U.S. had a good Thanksgiving! Did you do much eating and have many dogs over at your house too?

Guess what-- or who-- we're thankful for this year?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

Counting down to the fried bird

Last year, I made the mistake of going to Trader Joe's the day before Thanksgiving to buy some last minute things. Big mistake. Not only was there a line to get into the parking lot, just paying for brown sugar and chicken stock took me 20 minutes. In the 15 Items or Less line. This year, we thought to avoid the same mistake by doing our Thanksgiving grocery shopping early. But clearly not early enough because on Sunday, Trader Joe's was already out of fresh green beans and pumpkin pies (that we wanted to buy for ourselves). Which means we're still going to have to run to the store tomorrow for green beans and scallops (we didn't want to get the frozen ones at TJ). Let's hope we don't get marauded...

Ingredients which we did manage to get:
For Whole Wheat Stuffing with Pancetta, Chestnuts,and Parmesan:
Artisanal whole wheat boule
Pancetta
Chicken stock
Chestnuts
Shallots
Extra Parmesan (just in case...)
(I still have to snip rosemary and thyme from our backyard...)

For Green Bean Casserole:
Baby portabella mushrooms
Fried onions
Half-and-half

Shopping list for tomorrow:
Fresh green beans
Fresh scallops
Lime (I think I'll briefly marinate the scallops in lemongrass, lime peel and olive oil before grilling)

Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday and we look forward to it every year; actually, more specifically, my tummy looks forward to Rick's deep-fried turkey and Emilee's sweet potato mash!! That and passing out after the meal in front of some completely mindless, inanely enjoyable movie like Roxanne or Better Off Dead :) Let's see how much of it Sophie will be able to deal with on her first Thanksgiving- it'll be good training for the even bigger Christmas bash coming her way in Singapore!

Gleeful

These days, three things make me happiest:
1) Seeing Jude coming home in the evenings.
2) Looking at Sophie wake up in the mornings.
3) Watching Glee on Wednesdays.

I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cherrios to live in a constant state of fear by creating an environment of irrational random terror.
-Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch)

Of scallops, noodles, and apples

Yup, there's no doubt that Sophie has our genes...





No child has ever been this happy over the talk of food she can't ingest yet... :)

Flip out (or in this case, over)...

Ok everyone, pay attention- this is Sophie. And I'm on way to becoming very dangerous... Fear me for I am trying to flip over!


1. #1: From the top, 2. #2: Here we go, 3. #3: Some help from her mini pillow, 4. #4: D'oh..., 5. #5: Trying again, 6. #6: Almost there

It's hard work, this flipping over- sometimes I'd rather just hold my head up and look around the room. And the thing holding my legs together isn't helping much coz it's so heavy :( But Mama and Daddy help me along by propping me with my little pillow and egging me on with my favorite crazy star toy. I love it to bits even though my parents think it's the most psychotic thing created. What do these adults know?...

I finally get half way there though and Daddy helped me the rest of the way with a little nudge- the first of many I'm expecting him to give me for the rest of my life. That's how much I know he loves me :) And can you hear my Mama squealing in the background? Sometimes, she gets too excited...



Oh don't you worry, you know I'll flip over completely on my own one day. Because I'm Sophie Yew, and I'm awesome!

Separation anxiety

Come January, after we come back from Singapore, Jude and I will be putting Sophie in daycare. It breaks our heart to do it but if both of us want to finish our dissertations in any decent amount of time, we really don't have a choice. Now that she's increasingly responsive and social, it's taking me a lot to manage my time between work and playing with her. I can only squeeze in pockets of time when she's napping (which are getting shorter and fewer in the day) or at night after we've put her to bed to get anything done. And so yesterday, we visited Gretchen's House at Dhu Varren to have a look. It's the closest Gretchen's House to our place (distance is a huge factor for us) and comes highly recommended both from parents who've sent their kids there as well as friends who've taught there before.

It's a lovely, lovely place- bright and warm, with cheery rooms and even cheerier teachers. The infants we saw looked so happy playing in their sensory areas and are clearly well taken care of. One of the biggest things for us is that Sophie will be actively cared for at daycare and not just left in a crib to entertain herself (or as Jude fears, abandoned to wallow in her own dirty diaper...). We want to know that she's being appropriately engaged and stimulated, given lots of affection and hugs and it looks like that's what they do at Gretchen's House. All the teachers have at least a 4-year B.A. degree in a child development field which assures us that Sophie will be getting the most developmentally appropriate care possible.

As we were walking around, I was thinking how funny it was that my work and personal life have collided in this way- in my research job, I work quite a bit on child care quality and in one of the papers I produced for Columbia University, I presented research which suggests that for infants, family day care is more appropriate because of the more intimate environment that simulates the home. I always thought I'd put Sophie in family day care because of that but high quality ones are so hard to find, especially high quality ones near us. And in a situation like this, I'd rather put her in a high quality center than a low quality family day care. Besides, at Gretchen's House, even though they're licensed for a teacher to child ratio of 1:4, they keep it at 1:3 so that the babies get as much personal attention as possible. The whole place is also designed to replicate a home environment, with pods of classrooms that are self-contained units with access to a central living space and the outdoor area.

The tuition for Gretchen's House will be expensive (it costs more than our monthly rent!) but with a student subsidy, we're hoping to make it work. Besides, nothing's more important to us that making sure that Sophie is well taken care of so if it means cutting back on our expenses (thanks to Hulu, we're thinking of dropping our cable anyway...) and being very mindful about how we spend our money, it'll be well worth it!

The moment that made my day

Sophie laughed out loud today.

I can't imagine a more beautiful sound in the world! :)

Working girl

1. Hi Serena!, 2. How Sophie occupied herself while Mama worked, 3. Sprawled out across the office table, 4. Morning nap at Mama's research office

Hi everyone,
So today was a big day for me- Mama brought me to her research office with her and I had a great time! I took a nice morning nap in my stroller, letting Mama get some work done. But I wasn't comfortable in there for too long and so she had to take me out and put me in the Baby Bjorn. That was nice- I like being able to look around me. Lights are SO COOL!! But they're tiring to look at so I fell asleep again. I think this allowed Mama to get more work done with her co-workers. They're nice- they said I look cute in my pajamas and let me play with them :) One of them asked Mama if the pound she's convinced I put on during my growth spurt all went to my cheeks- I don't know what that meant but I smiled anyway, puffing out my cheeks, and that made everyone laugh. Who knows why... adults... I woke up in time for Mama's lunch and she brought me to get a salad from Za's with Aunt Serena while I was still in the Bjorn. That was super-duper awesome coz I got to go outside and soak in the gorgeous Fall weather that Mama loves to much. I saw people, and cars, a big blue bus, more people, felt the sun shine on my face, burped while Mama was in line at the cafe which made Aunt Serena laugh out loud. These big people are so easily amused.

Mama was worried that I would be bored so she brought along my favorite toys- Sophie the Giraffe and my rattle as well as a quilt and fleece blanket so I'll be comfortable. And I was! Mama put me on a large office table so she could keep an eye on me and I just chilled there and watched her shuffle papers about. I guess that's what Work is. It looked hard. And tiring. Just looking at her so busy tired *me* out so I fell asleep again. Mama didn't have to Bjorn me this time- I was so pooped from all the smiling and light-staring that I slept soundly in the car seat.

I hope Mama brings me to the office more often- I really had a good time :) Although someone needs to remind her to change my diaper more often. She was so busy at one point that she missed one of my catastro-poops and I did not smell nice. *Adults*!!

The only constant is change

As Sophie turns 3 months old today-- happy 3-month old birthday punkin'!-- I have to say that neither one of us can fathom not having her around anymore, and it's almost like I can't remember how things were like without her. In just 13 short weeks, she has irrevocably turned our lives upside down, and inside-out:

1. Crossing the road is no longer just crossing the road- I literally practice the "look right, then left, and then right again" rule at least 3 times before crossing when she's with me.

2. No sacrifice is too big for her- like giving up caffeine. No questions asked.

3. My heart can now be broken by just hearing her cry.

4. I'm taking better care of myself-- like what I eat-- because it determines what she eats.

5. If she sleeps well, it doesn't matter if I don't.

6. When I carry her and look in the mirror, I look at her instead of myself.

7. I've become a morning person.

8. I'd rather buy her a chew toy than a new winter hat for myself.

9.I've almost completely stopped wearing a watch. Time is defined by the hours in between her feeds.

10. I want to make the world a better place because I want it to be a better place for her.

Kisses to the 3-month old!

All shot up

The line for the H1N1 vaccine (EMU)
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

We finally did it. After missing several H1N1 flu clinics both at the University and in Ann Arbor, we packed breakfast, bundled Sophie up, and hauled ourselves out of the house before 9am yesterday to Ypsi to get in line for the mass H1N1 clinic for high priority groups. Jude and I fall into this category because we're caring for a child under 6 months old and we also really wanted to get it in anticipation of flying home and not wanting to self-quarantine ourselves for 2 weeks in Singapore.

After hearing horror stories of 5-hour long waits and complete chaos at the Ann Arbor clinics, we were prepared for the worse. It didn't help that it was chilly out and I didn't bring a hat nor gloves (Sophie, on the other hand, was warm and toasty in her Bundle-Me). Fortunately, I think the county learned from its mistakes and the experience was actually rather civilized. We were indoors within 20 minutes and the wristband system definitely helped-- depending on what time you arrived, you got a colored wristband that corresponds to the approximate time you might receive your shot. We got there early enough to make the first group-- and so did the many staff members at hand to handle questions and dispense information. In the end, it still took us 3 hours from start to finish, but it was a chill 3 hours- we were in line with our friend Jina and her daughter, Willow, who was most entertaining, Sophie-- who's thankfully coming out of her growth spurt-- slept through most of it, waking up just to cuddle and flirt with the lady standing behind us, and we stuffed our faces with the English muffins and cinnamon rolls we had packed so we weren't squirming in hunger from 9am to noon.

So Jude and I are now H1N1-vaccinated, with paperwork to show for it. Coupled with having gotten the seasonal flu shots last month, let's hope this household will be illness-free through the Winter!

Growing up is hard to do

I appreciate baby growth spurts in theory, but abhor them in actuality. I get that babies have these periods where they eat A LOT and fuss more because their bodies are going through profound growth. I get it. I really do. And if I weren't so intimately acquainted with it right now, I might even go so far as to say that I'm rather fascinated by this whole process. It's like witnessing Growth right before your eyes. Pretty cool stuff.

But Growth Spurt Genie, if you're reading this, listen up. I hate you.

I hate that you've replaced our sweet baby with a fussing, crying, ravenous Tasmanian Devil incarnate. I hate that I've had to give up my play time with Sophie in exchange for long periods of shushing and soothing her while she cries like she's having an existential meltdown. And so if you'd like to get back into my good graces before manifesting again for Sophie's 6-month growth spurt, you'd better return our daughter back to her normal self. I am a woman surviving on little sleep and exhausted from frequent feeds. I am constantly thirsty and hungry and feel like a pig (or a cow, depending on the situation). I am not happy. And you don't want to mess with Serene Koh when she's not happy. So yes, Growth Spurt Genie, be afraid, be very afraid...

How do you say No to a face like this?

You don't.

Unless you're trying to wean her off her beloved bouncer, in which case you sit helplessly and listen to her whimper in her crib via the baby monitor and resolutely resist any temptation to put her where she really wants to be.

Tough love sucks.

Happy day after Halloween!

Dear everyone,
Apparently, it's the day after Halloween. I don't know what this Halloween thing is but my Mama's been putting me in strange clothes these past two days so I'm assuming it's some kind of fashion festival. On Friday, she wrapped me up in a ladybug blankie and pulled a hat over my head. I hate hats. But I was in a good mood so I let her have her way. I think it made her happy :) Besides, I entertained myself with my hand- I never knew it tasted so good till last week. *nom*...


Then yesterday, when Daddy was home, they put me in another outfit, this time a DJ onesie and a pirate beanie hat. Auntie Jenn in Boston got me the outfit and I think I rocked it, if I should say so myself :) DJ Sophie in da house- hijacking the airwaves, and rockin' yours (and my) booties off! I still didn't like the hat so much but it was tiring being so adorable so I slept most of the day and just let my parents do what they wanted. Letting them have their way once in while keeps them on their toes, I think- I make their life interesting that way...

Here's me with Daddy- I think we both look very good, don't you agree? Oh, and I love my Rainbow Brite leg warmers- they make my legs look a little chubby, but oh so cute!