In gratitude: The Ponseti method

We would be remiss if we did not acknowledge the important role that Dr. Ignacio Ponseti and the treatment he pioneered has on Sophie's ability to walk/run normally in the future. It's startling that this treatment for clubfeet is not practiced as widely as we would have thought even though it's been around for almost 50 years. It heartens us to know that we've been able to benefit from this non-surgical and highly effective method to correct what might otherwise be a permanent and painful disability. Dr. Ponseti-- at 95 years old-- is still alive and actively practicing and his mandate now is to spread the use of the Ponseti method to as wide a community as possible.

Sophie has done remarkably well throughout the process- being such a brave peanut through the serial casts and the tenotomy (an outpatient mini-surgery to release her Achilles heel); but now comes the toughest part of the treatment- the wearing of the Dennis-Brown shoes to keep the correction in place. Sophie has to wear them 23-hours a day for the next few months, and then only when she sleeps till she's about 2. The three of us are going to have to be very disciplined to stick to the routine-- no matter how uncomfortable it may initially be for Sophie, or how our hearts break at her cries when we put it on-- or the chances of relapse are very high. We've been reading the forum boards and found out that many parents-- for one reason or another-- give up wearing the shoes and then find themselves having to begin the procedure from scratch, beginning with the serial casts again. There is no way we're going to put Sophie through that again.



If you watch the above video - you'll understand why we are so grateful to Dr. Ponseti and all the Drs. and nurses at UM involved with Sophie's treatment. We couldn't have asked for a better or nicer pediatric ortho specialist than Dr. Michelle Caird. And this is why we are so moved to donate to the Ponseti foundation, to help them spread the method, so that children all over the world can benefit from the treatment just like Sophie.

Guess how much we love you?

Yes, she really is this perfect.

And no, we still can't believe we made her... :)

"I love you right up to the moon- and back."
-Big Nutbrown Hare, Guess How Much I Love You?

All wrapped up

Loving the Moby!
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

We're not sure if it's a developmental thing or if it's just general fussiness but for the past 10 days or so, Sophie's been having difficulty sleeping at nights. Specifically between the hours of 10pm- 2am, she's either really fussy and cries uncontrollably, or just wants to be awake and play. She's also taken to wanting only to fall asleep in our arms and doesn't like it when we put her down. It's odd because she's so very sweet in the day- playing, feeding, and sleeping without much fuss. We spoke to Dr. Youssef, her pediatrician, who says that this will pass by 8-10 weeks-- the night-crying especially-- and that for now, we should just do what we can to soothe her when she fusses and pick her up whenever she cries. Despite popular belief, in the first 3 months, there really is no such thing as spoiling a baby. Besides, it's hard for me not to pick her up when she cries so badly- it's like a small part of me dies a little every time I hear her plaintive wail...

So to get round her not sleeping, we've started using the Moby Wrap to soothe her into a deep sleep first early in the night and then transferring her to her crib later. The wrap keeps my hands free so I can still do some work when she's inside. She already loves it as it is- she sleeps extremely well and long in it, and it comforts her because she's so close to our bodies. Actually I think it comforts me, knowing that she's warm and secure, listening to my heartbeat lulling her to sleep. Invariably, she's also always clutching on to my blouse with her tiny hands whenever she's inside and that always makes my heart sing a little... :)

Waking up is hard to do...

In video- 3:49pm, Saturday, Sep 26, 2009: Miss Sophie Yew seemingly content waking up from her afternoon nap.

Not in video- 3:50pm, Saturday, Sep 26, 2009: Miss Sophie Yew VERY UNHAPPY to have woken up from her afternoon nap...

A start of autumn song - "East" by the weather station

As the mercury starts to dip, the leaves turn color and when a definite autumnal mood is in the air, I thought that I would share this gorgeous track by the Canadian band, the weather station. Much meaning in the lyrics as we begin to ponder our next steps after the PhD.

East - the weather station

Passport photo- FAIL!

This is what happens when you try to take a passport photo for a 6-week old with a white bed-sheet and her bouncer...

[click for full effect]

Working mom

So my maternity leave ended this week and I'm technically "back at work", although that doesn't have quite the same meaning for a grad student as a full-time working mom. It basically means I'm back to working 20 hours a week as a research assistant and can no longer spend my days sitting in front of the TV with Sophie sleeping next to me on the couch, or spend my nights Internet-ing from our bed. The professor I'm working for is really understanding though and apart from the weekly meetings I'm obligated to attend, she's allowing me-- for the most part-- to work from home doing data analysis and writing so I don't have to worry about childcare for Sophie, at least till the end of this calendar year. It's going to be a challenge to juggle taking care of her, my research assistantship responsibilities as well as finishing writing my dissertation, but people have done it before and I'm confident Jude and I will manage.

Here's how today-- officially my first "back to work" day-- unfolded:

8:00- Woke up wondering why Sophie hadn't woken up for her morning feed yet and debated whether or not to go back to sleep. Decided to wake up and freshen up before she did rouse and demand breakfast.

8:30- Nursed Sophie for about 20 minutes while Jude made coffee and breakfast.

9:00- 10:30- Had some active awake time with Sophie, playing with Chickie, reading a couple more pages of Make Way For Ducklings [it was riveting stuff- where will the Mallards make their home?? Sophie can't wait to find out what happens next... ;)], and cooing and talking with her as she sat in her bouncer (for those of you who follow our photos, yes, she's finally taken to the bouncer- yay!).

10:30- Just as Jude went off to school, Sophie nursed and promptly fell asleep. I had planned to just put her to bed in her crib upstairs and turn the baby monitor on as I worked on my desk downstairs but decided to just let her sleep in her bouncer next to me just so I could keep an eye on her. She didn't seem to mind and fell into a deep slumber after fussing just for a little bit.

10:30- 5:00- This was basically my most productive stretch of the day. Sophie stirred to feed twice but went right back to sleep (we did have a brief 20-minute mother-daughter bonding moment but our little girl decided that sleep was more important than whatever crazy antics her mother wanted to engage her in...). I forced myself to be as efficient as possible in finishing whatever it was my professor wanted me to do (on the list today: work with some data in Excel, critique a couple of journal articles, and prepare a manuscript for publication) because I knew once Sophie woke up in the evening, I wasn't going to be able to get much done till she went to bed at night. I even had lunch in front of the computer.

5:00- Sophie woke up to feed and basically stayed up till bedtime. When she was done nursing, we-- well, she-- spent some time on her crib under the mobile watching it for a little. Now that her head's a little steadier, I think she's more able to engage with the mobile better. That didn't last long though and it was back downstairs for more Make Way For Ducklings (yes! The Mallards found a place to nest on the Charles River! And they get peanuts from Policeman Michael! Sophie was at the edge of her (bouncer) seat!!...) and incongruous babbling on my part to try to make her smile for the camera. Jude came home about an hour later and we went for a walk outside. The weather was really nice-- albeit a little humid-- and Sophie seemed to enjoy the fresh air after being cooped up inside the whole day. We came home for some tummy time- yay, Sophie!- and then she fed again.

7:00- Dinner involved basically reheating a fraction of the buffet my mom cooked up that is now stored in various containers in our fridge and freezer. We ate while Sophie watched on, sitting quietly in her bouncer. I wonder sometimes when she's in that quiet alert state if she's actually thinking, entertaining actual thoughts in that little growing brain of hers. What goes through her mind? How she can weasel more milk out of the lady in front of her? Or get the guy sitting next to the lady to change her diaper more often? Oh, and burping. Burping's good...

7:45- It's time to bathe her and put her to bed. It's become a nightly ritual ever since she was a couple of days old that bathtime signals bedtime, and surprisingly, Sophie loves it. In fact, it's the one time of the day that we're almost guaranteed a happy, chill baby. She really seems to enjoy being changed and wiped, having a warm towel wiped all over her face and lavender baby lotion slowly massaged into her little nooks and crannies. Like Cleopatra, Jude always says, with both Mama and Daddy synchronously bathing, drying, moisturizing, and dressing her :)

8:00- now- As Sophie sleeps, Jude works in the study while I continue with my work downstairs. The baby monitor's on which is a little disconcerting because it amplifies sound which makes her every whimper sound that much louder. I'm trying my darndest not to run upstairs at the slightest rustle.

I think I did good considering I'm still feeling a little wistful that my parents have left. I tell myself that we managed that first 4 weeks without them and that we'll see them again soon- we just have to ease back into our schedule and we'll be back into the swing of things.

Hopefully...

Till Christmas, Mom & Dad...

One last photo before heading to the airport
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

I miss them already. *sniff* I can't remember the last time I cried saying bye to my parents. Even when Jude and I made our first big move here in 2003, it didn't really hit me this hard. But something about the past 3 weeks was different. And it didn't have to do with all the stuff they bought us (they practically restocked our bathroom and kitchen supplies) or cooked for us (my mom made enough food to last us at least 2 weeks). I'm not sure what it is but I was genuinely sad to see my parents walk through the gate this afternoon :( Coming home from the airport, there was an unmistakable stillness- no smells of ginger and sesame oil wafting from the kitchen, soups simmering away, my dad pottering about the house trying to keep things tidy, or the TV perpetually tuned to the Food Channel because my mom's a little besotted with Barefoot Contessa.

I think part of it has to do with how I feel my relationship with my parents have evolved somewhat. My friend Tanya says that having children sort of redefines your relationship with your parents. Because not only do you see how much they love your child, you realize that everything you're doing and feeling for your child, your parents have done and felt (and still feel) for you. Like finding out how my mom had to painstakingly deal with me crying through the nights, or that my dad was the one who changed me and got me ready for the day when I was a baby because my mom had to leave for work early. These gestures are universal and elemental, and they transcend time and age. My mom spent the last 3 weeks practically planted in the kitchen cooking up soups and tonics just so I could reap the health benefits; she would also sometimes be the last to have dinner and watch Sophie for us just so we could eat in peace and not worry. And my dad- constantly worrying about whether or not we have enough paper towels or teaspoons, and so eager to help with re-arranging our room just so the two of us and Sophie would be most comfortable.

I'm profoundly embarrassed to say this but I don't think I've appreciated my parents as much as I have these past 3 weeks.

Thanks, Mom & Dad.

Sophie by any other name...

...would be as sweet :) What is it about giving babies nicknames? We call Sophie by her given name, of course, but from birth, she's also acquired her fair share of pet names we've come to use:

Peanut: Her first nickname used by almost everyone who saw her-- the nurses, especially-- that first two days in the hospital. At the rate that she's growing, we're not going to be able to call her that for much longer though.

Princess Poopypants: Given to her by Daddy for the sheer volume of dirty diapers she was producing in her first week. She continues to make that name proud today...

En En: Derived from her Chinese name, we call her that once in a while just so she gets used to the sound of her other name.

Susu monster: "Susu" means milk in Malay. Sophie feeds really well which also means that she wants her milk when she wants it and will let it be known to the world when she doesn't get her meal. Because of her ravenous appetite, the nickname susu monster was born.

Milky Spice: This is fairly self-explanatory although it's not only because of Sophie's milk addiction. She's also familiarizing herself with moving her arms and legs and so it often looks like she's dancing while lying down. In an alternate universe, she could be a pop sensation in the making.

Ang Ku Kueh: A traditional Chinese sticky confection stuffed either with bean paste or peanut, we've taken to calling Sophie ang ku kueh because every time she stretches, her faces turns a shade of red from the blood flooding her teeny facial capillaries. Plus her cheeks are growing delightfully chubby, turning her face round and confection-like :)

Sweet sweet: What Grandma's been calling her. As much a description of our precious little girl as a throwback to the last baby in our family-- Sam-- 16 years ago. Sam's Chinese name sounds like "sweet" in Chinese and because we used to call her sweet sweet when she was little, my mom started calling Sophie that too.

Siew Mai: Another food-related nickname (with parents like us, are you surprised?...). This has to do with Sophie's faux-hawk that makes her look like a little dim-sum dumpling. I actually think this might be her most endearing nickname yet :)

Blueberry Girl

For the past couple of weeks, we've taken to reading to Sophie whenever she's awake. I know she's not comprehending any of the content but I'd like to think that reading even at this stage helps her cognitive and emotional development and starts introducing her to language. Besides, I love the closeness it fosters when we read to her. So far, we've read her "I Love You Through and Through", "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!", and "Olivia". Today, a new book arrived that I can't wait to read to her. Thanks to our former student, David, we now have Neil Gaiman's "Blueberry Girl" to add to Sophie's growing library. It's truly one of the loveliest books for parents and parents-to-be of daughters and I had to fight back the tears while reading through it this morning.

It started out as a poem Gaiman wrote for a friend who was expecting a daughter and he ended up making copies of it for various other people. It wasn't until he let illustrator Charles Vess (of Stardust fame) read the poem did they decide to collaborate and turn it into a book. In this note, he shares his sentiments on the development of "Blueberry Girl". Enchanting, beautiful, lyrical, and fantastic, it's a poem, a prayer, and a blessing all rolled into one. It has to do with wishing for your daughter hope, wisdom, self-esteem, and enjoyment of life- truly, truly exquisite, and we wish it all for our dear Sophie...

Here's an animated peek into the book with Neil Gaiman reading:

"Words can be worrisome, people complex,
motives and manners unclear,
Grant her the wisdom to choose her path right,
free from unkindness and fear.

Let her tell stories and dance in the rain,
somersault, tumble, and run,
Her joys must be high as her sorrows are deep.
Let her grow like a weed in the sun.

Ladies of paradox, ladies of measures,
ladies of shadows that fall,

This is a prayer for a blueberry girl."

-Excerpted from Blueberry Girl, Neil Gaiman

Milestones

Since she was born, Sophie has hit all her developmental milestones almost on the dot (I mean, the moment she was ready to pop at 37 weeks, our girl was all set. Talk about being punctual...): growth spurts at 7 days and 3 weeks, lifting her head 45 degrees at 3 weeks, and making eye contact at 4 weeks- she's done it all. Yesterday, as she turned a month old, Sophie turned another two corners, so to speak- 1) she finally outgrew her Newborn diapers and has moved up a size, and 2) she's grown too big for her Newborn clothes and had to start wearing her 0-3 month onesie today. It would seem that Mama's milk is doing our little girl a whole lot of good :)

Speaking of milk and milestones, another one that Sophie accomplished today is taking to her first bottle. I go back to school in a couple of weeks and Jude will be home on my meeting days to watch her so I'll be expressing and storing my breastmilk so he can do her feeds. Also, we didn't want to wait too long to try or it'll just make the transition even tougher for her. Our breastfeeding instructor recommended that we start introducing the bottle 10 days before and to start with just an ounce to see if she'll take to it. And so this morning, with the grandparents by her side cheering her along (literally!), Sophie was given her first bottle by Daddy. We were told that she may not take the bottle if she senses me nearby so I sat on the stairs watching from afar. And crying. First it was from the anxiety of seeing her initially reject the nipple and not getting the milk she craved, but once she latched on and drank merrily away, I started crying even harder at the prospect that I was no longer her sole provider of sustenance :( If it's possible, I think I actually felt a twinge of resentment against the bottle, in all its well-designed BPA-free glory...

Now that I've regained some semblance of perspective though, I'm really glad at how it all worked out and so proud of what a little trooper Sophie was. Also, I comfort myself by saying that I'll still be breastfeeding her whenever I'm home and Jude and I will switch out for night feeds so that things will be a little more sane for me. Like our friend Tanya reminded me, I'll always be her Mama, and a silly little bottle isn't going to change that... Besides, now that we know Sophie will take the bottle when she has to, Jude can be a real part of her feeding experience and not just the person who carries her to me in the middle of the night :) Daddy-daughter bonding FTW!

As for the whole bottle experience, we were expecting a real struggle with this transition and so afraid of how many bottles we'd have to try before we find one that Sophie will like. Thankfully, we started right away with the Adiri Stage 1 bottle and we couldn't be any happier. Designed with the help of moms, doctors, and lactation consultants, and with a nipple that's molded like Mama's breast, the Adiri bottle is highly recommended by many of the mommy websites I've been perusing. It's a little costlier than regular bottles, but judging from how quickly and easily Sophie took to it only after a minute of fussing, we're not complaining- it's totally worth it!

Celebration Part Deux

1. Sophie turns a month old!, 2. Dyed red eggs to celebrate Sophie turning a month old!, 3. Sophie turns a month old!, 4. This is how a one-month old looks like :)

Our little peanut's a month old! We're counting each and every blessing that has come with being her parents! :)

Celebration Part Un

Celebrating Grandpa & Grandma's 34th Wedding Anniversary at Cafe Zola
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

Finally, for the first time in six years, we were able to do something with my parents for their wedding anniversary :) Since we've only ever been home until August in the summers, we've never celebrated their anniversary with them in person. This year, not only were we able to, there's the added joy of having Sophie around! The day started off with brunch at Cafe Zola which always satisfies- if you ask me, nothing says C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-I-O-N like a spicy Bloody Mary, breakfast fries, and eggs boiled, baked, crêpe-ed, and fritatta-ed. Oh, and let's not forget the basket of luscious pastries and breads that came with my Dad's Turkish Brunch, most of which ended up in a brown paper bag that's now sitting in our kitchen...

We had wanted to make a reservation somewhere nice for my parents so that they could have a nice dinner on their own, but the doting grandparents wanted to stay home with their grand-daughter so Jude & I made them a steak dinner instead. We had bought two generous New York strip steaks from Sparrow Market over the weekend and there was farmshare veggies to be had, so dinner was oven-roasted steaks (the weather thwarted our plans to grill), scorched kale with lemon and bacon, and a Caprese salad with tomatoes and basil from the farm. There was nary a morsel of food left by the time we were done and my dad even felt compelled to wipe up the last of the chiffonades of basil floating in balsamic vinegar...

At the end of the day though, I don't think the food mattered as much to my parents as the fact that they're here with us, especially with Sophie, and that they're able to be with us, anniversary or not. It really doesn't matter what our little peanut is doing-- sleeping, playing, smiling, crying, pooping, bathing-- they, like us, hang on to every one of her antics as if she's the only baby in the universe capable of such precious, profound feats. Sophie will be a month old tomorrow and while there will be another small celebration of sorts, again, it wouldn't matter. Everyone in this house is just happy to be together, whatever the occasion may be :)

When love comes to town

My parents are here. Yay! My parents are here. Did I mention that my parents are here? I love that my parents are here... For one, they've been a great help around the house. Just in the 24-hours alone, they've reorganized our kitchen, folded our laundry, bought us a brand new rice cooker (apparently, we've been living in the rice cooker Dark Ages- rice *isn't* supposed to stick to the pot...), an electric kettle (our small REI fast-boiling kettle did not perform satisfactorily), and a 5-cup coffee maker (because my dad needs his coffee in order to be functional in the morning and an espresso pot is just asking a little too much of him pre-caffeine...), and made us the kind of food that satisfies in the way only mom's homecooking can (a simple steamed fish never tasted so good...) Oh, and my mom felt the overwhelming need to help us clean our Herman Miller chair too. The whole back and bottom of it. Given the chance, she would have cleaned our entire house (basement and all) and then make dinner for the whole neighbourhood.

But more importantly, it's been magical watching them fall in love with Sophie in person, seeing them fawn over her every coo and whimper and the sparkle in their eyes when she responds to them :) Like us, they can literally sit and watch her sleep all day. Truly, there are few things in the world as precious...

1. The happy grandparents, 2. How's it hanging, Grandpa?, 3. Making Grandma very happy :), 4. Holding both grandparents' hands

Snap happy

Because Sophie's only awake for short pockets of time a day, whenever she is up, we go stir-crazy with the camera. Like this afternoon when I took a string of at least 25 photos within a span of just 10 minutes. If I'm not careful, our daughter's going to grow up thinking her mother has a camera for a face...


1. Portrait of a young lady, 2. I vote to take no more pictures within the next hour please..., 3. Mid-yawn, 4. The first of many more embarrassing posed photos, 5. Bemused, 6. Concerned, 7. With I Love You Through & Through, 8. Oh Puhleeese..., 9. We live for expressions like these :), 10. Away with thee, paparazzi!, 11. Default post-nap expression, 12. Furrowed brow

Meet-cute

Since Sophie seems to be growing more alert and aware of her surroundings with each passing day, Jude and I thought it'll be good to start buying her something to engage her developing senses. We've been meaning to buy her a mobile for the longest time and decided to make a trip to Little Seedling fully intending on getting something to hang over her crib. Nothing there struck our fancy, particularly because we really wanted a mobile that she can look at, which means positioned horizontally as opposed to hanging upright where's she's looking at the bottom of the mobile... Like, what's the point in that?

In the end, Jude picked out this most adorable Haba chicken instead (which pops out of it's own little cozy nest)- we're not even sure if Sophie can play with it yet but it was too cute to resist (I think we eventually bought it because *we* like it so much...) Here's the Sophie-Chickie meet-cute:



I'm going to be that unabashedly crazy-in-love mother and say this over and over (mostly because I'm still reeling from it), I can't believe between the two of us, we created someone this adorable... It still blows our mind! :)

Our little squirm bug

Squirmy from serene koh on Vimeo.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why our little peanut is able to wiggle out of the tightest of swaddles. And let it be known that she's neither in full-flail mode nor exerting her full strength here...

Battle of wills

Date: 27 Aug 2009
Time: 6:48am

In this corner, weighing in at 200lbs and standing at 5ft 9in- Jude Yew. 37 years old. Armed with all the willpower and stamina a new father can muster, and the 5 S's from The Happiest Baby on the Block. He is determined to overcome what lays before him...

In the other corner, weighing 6lbs 10oz and measuring 20 inches while lying down- Sophie Yew. 3 weeks old. Equipped with lungs of steel and a wiggle that can squirm out of the toughest swaddle. She will not be defeated.

It was a non-bloody but long-drawn four-hour battle between father and daughter. Tears were shed, cries expended, nerves tested, Baby Tylenol contemplated. Sleep eluded all in the arena. Serene Koh, mother-wife-bystander, provided sustenance for both contenders- food for one and mental support for the other. She could not choose sides.

In the end, at the break of dawn, in the face of an interminable impasse, both contenders caved in to exhaustion. Sophie Yew passed out after the third feed of the night without much sleep, and Jude Yew retreated to the confines of the bed.

This battle may or may not resume tonight. Stay tuned.

Top 10 signs you know you're a parent of a newborn

1) You wear your glasses to bed to save that few seconds when you wake up for the nth time to soothe your whimpering offspring.
2) You discover you're actually able to shower and be clean in half the time it used to take you.
3) You believe that diapering should be an Olympic sport.
4) As should swaddling.
5) You've mastered the art of being almost fully functional while half-asleep.
6) You're more diligent with recording the frequency of feeds and number of wet and dirty diapers than you've ever been with balancing your checkbook or doing your taxes.
7) You wonder why you ever needed to carry a separate purse when everything you need really fits into just one pocket of the diaper bag.
8) Your idea of a good night's sleep is when you wake up twice instead of four times.
9) When you say "Moby", you mean the baby sling, not Richard Melville Hall.
10) Staring at a person who can't quite communicate with you yet is the most satisfying thing in the world...

Deepest thanks!

One of the things Jude and I have been feeling these past two weeks apart from a profound sense of joy at being Sophie's parents, sleeplessness from the night feeds, and gratitude for all the help and food we've been receiving, is a sense of guilt. Yup, guilt. For all the times our friends have had babies and we didn't bring them something.

Because really, if not for the almost continuous stream of generous meals we've been getting from all you wonderful folks out there, I think Jude and I would be tearing our hair out trying to juggle making meals on top of taking care of Sophie and just adjusting to parenthood in general. It's such a wonderful gesture and something not conventional back home in Singapore I suppose, where mothers, relatives, or confinement ladies are the ones responsible for meals. Here, where perhaps parents may not live as close by or are less able to stay for extended periods, it's the kindness of friends that becomes such a lifesaver... And so to everyone below, a huge THANK YOU for your generosity and thoughtfulness- Jude, Sophie, and I think you're just the awesomest best! :)

Rick & Emilee who brought us dinner our second night at the hospital and saved us from another encounter with sad hotdogs and gloppy lasagna; and for the delicious Zingerman's sandwiches last weekend.

Eric, Amy, & Finn who not only brought a delicious pot-roast but also a huge box of diapers (which our resident Princess Poopypants went through in A WEEK) and a lovely outfit for Sophie.

Dan, Wendy, Tobin & Julianne for a scrumptiously moist blueberry coffee cake the first week we were home (we couldn't stop eating it!), a warming potato-leek-bacon soup yesterday, and an adorable toy for Sophie that Julianne helped pick out.

Libby (a.k.a. the newly minted Dr. Hemphill!!), her mom, & Naomi who came by with a huge bag of Zingerman's bagels and their house cream cheese, plus a "My Daddy's a Geek" onesie that we can't wait for Sophie to grow big enough to wear :)

Stephanie, Tom, Anders & Carsten who brought us an entire meal complete with tomato salad, green beans, potato salad, and BBQ pork, plus most importantly, the lovely quilt that Stephanie hand-sewed.

Molly, our doula-- who was so apologetic for missing Sophie's birth-- for the dozen all-butter croissants that basically was breakfast for a week.

Tanya, Wil, & Lily who brought a giant tray of spinach-beef lasagna-- I swear it could serve 8 people-- plus a baguette, a bag of salad, an apple tart, and a toy for Sophie tht Lily had picked out :)

Airong, our Korean-Chinese neighbor, for a huge pot of Korean seaweed-beef soup that the ladies in Korea take postpartum to help with recovery. It truly tasted deliciously nourishing...

Sarah, whose experiment with a tomatillo-chicken stew was our gain when she brought over a generous portion for us.

Julie who came over with what seemed like half of Plum Market and her own pantry! There was two portions of homemade grilled tarragon chicken, two large containers of salad, tarragon pesto, plums, two baked potato, ciabatta bread, ice-cream, and the most decadent brownies we've ever had! She basically single-handedly sustained us for close to two days! Oh, and she also had gifts for Sophie too- bath lotions and baby massage oils, which are perfect since we've been giving Sophie nightly massages that she seems to really enjoy (it's something Jude has carved out as his thing to do with Sophie- it's ridiculously sweet...)

Liz & Megan who also brought a generous tray of lasagna-- I think it's chicken or turkey this time-- which was equally delicious. Megan also walked into the house straight toward Sophie with a bag, calling out, "Baby Sophie, Baby Sophie!" Turns out, there was a pair of pink shoes in there that she really wanted to give to Sophie. It was an adorable moment :)

Serena whose giant portion of homemade Greek salad had so many bright and bold flavors, I was convinced she must have thrown half the produce section of the supermarket in there- lettuce, feta cheese, two kinds of peppers, red onions, cucumbers, chickpeas, and tomatoes.

And a huge thanks to Annelise, and Liz, Dan, Hannah, & Divya for visiting with us and for bringing even more gifts for Sophie- from a beautiful Tea blouse, to the lovely, I Love You Through and Through, to an adorable polka-dotted two piece swimsuit that we can't wait for Sophie to put on next summer! :)

You guys rock!

Pinkie-promise

I now understand what people mean when they say it's heartbreaking to watch their babies cries, especially when you don't know what's bothering them and can't figure out how to make it better. Yesterday afternoon was so distressing for Jude and I when Sophie spent the most part of it fussing and crying so hard her little tear ducts were activated (I didn't think newborns could tear!...) The moment I saw her eyes well up, I started crying too and felt so bad that I couldn't make whatever it was that was bothering her go away. I literally felt a small piece of me die inside with each quivering wail...

She eventually calmed down and slept the rest of the afternoon away and while last night was still a little rough, with long feeds and short sleeps, I think she's gotten over it today and is taking her afternoon nap more or less like she used to. It got me thinking about the millions of times from now till she grows older when she'll cry over sometime that will hurt her-- a fall, a bully, a bad grade, a boyfriend-- and the thousands of times amongst those when we might not be there to protect her. My heart aches at the thought...

So here's a promise to you, Sophie- Mommy and Daddy may not be able to protect you from every fall you're going to take, every bully you might meet in school, or every bruise you might get, but we pinkie-promise to do our best to shield you from any kind of unhappiness we do have control over. And hopefully as parents, that's the best we can hope to do...

The many faces of Sophie

What we were doing at 7.30 tonight: having dinner, watching a recorded episode of No Reservations, spending some active awake time with Sophie (which at this stage is only like an hour or so a day...), and taking photos/videos of her. All at the same time.

No wonder people say parents become the world's greatest multi-taskers... :)

A yawn and a sneeze from serene koh on Vimeo.

**Note the kung-fu nose brush at 0:15- definitely channeling some Bruce Lee there... ;)

Ode to Sophie's Daddy

If I had given birth to Sophie in Singapore, I'd not doubt would have had help from our families, a troopload of relatives, and friends. But since we're here and my parents aren't due to arrive for another couple of weeks (like us, they had anticipated that our little peanut was going to be late...), we've pretty much been coping on our own (with the help of delicious and generously prepared meals from so many of our friends- but that's for another post...) But things haven't been as crazy as I had expected and we've actually been coping really well considering the circumstances. For one, Sophie's been a real darling- not really fussy (except when you try pulling a onesie over her head or when she suckles on her hand and realizes that there's no milk there...), and right now, is pretty much just sleeping, nursing, and pooping all the time :)

But more importantly, I have Jude.

He's just been so wonderful in every way possible- father, husband, helper, confinement lady**, grocery-shopper, dish-washer, diaper-changer, all rolled into one. He did a really good job last week of making traditional confinement foods for me from recipes my mom had sent and seemed to really embrace the challenge of buying unfamiliar ingredients and cooking with them. We've had to slow that down this week just because it got a little overwhelming juggling elaborate recipes but he's still doing most of the cooking and I appreciate it so very very much. The nights would have been harrowing if not for him doing the diaper changes and soothing Sophie while I catch up on sleep between feeds. She was feeding incessantly the last two nights and I don't think I would have been able to survive them without Jude by my side. Just all in all, he's been doing everything else around the house on his own while trying to get his dissertation project up and running, AND being the most thoughtful husband, and doting father ever :) My heart melts every time I see him with Sophie, the way he coos at her little chirps and squeaks, and that look on his face when he looks at her... It's an expression that says, "I'm so in love with you that it's going to be physically impossible to say no to you, young lady..."

It's also a look that explains why in 18 years, when Sophie goes on her first date, Jude will be sitting on the porch with a shotgun and a shovel, and in the immortal words of John Ritter, declaring, "I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. You will not be missed." :)

Every time she blinks,
She strikes somebody blind
Every time she thinks,
Blows her tiny mind

That's my daughter in the water,
Who'd've ever thought her
Who'd've ever thought

That's my daughter in the water,
I lost every time I fought her
Yeah I lost every time.
-Loudon Wainwright III, "Daughter"

**A confinement lady is a woman hired during the immediate postpartum month to take care of the mother and baby. Her responsibilities include cooking special meals for the mother, tending to her recovery needs, and helping her take care of the baby.

Our birth story

Not that I remember everything very clearly but this time last week, I think I was in a fair amount of pain.. OK, that's an understatement. I was in-- in my cousin, Terri's words-- a crapload of pain. I had been in unmedicated labour for almost 18 hours and because my water broke in the middle of the night the day before, Jude and I hadn't had any sleep in close to 36 hours... I was exhausted.

I figured as Sophie turns a week old today, I should take some time to blog a little about our birth story- not in too much detail of course, but something to share with all of you who've been following our little journey from here to here these last 9 months or so :)

Friday (8/7/09)
2.45 am: Jude switches off bedside lamp to go to bed. My water breaks literally 2 minutes later. I scream, "Water, water, water!" First thing that crosses my mind was what a liar our childbirth instructor was- she said things never happen dramatically like in the movies and chances are, contractions will start even before my water breaks... NOT TRUE! Next thought: our doula's camping and not going to be back in town for a week!!! Looks like it's going to be just Jude and I. Here we go, people...

3.30am: We're out of the house after calling the hospital, our mothers, packing last-minute stuff into our already-packed hospital bag (thank god!), and throwing the sheets into the laundry (don't ask why we thought it as necessary to do that before leaving...) Oh, and downloading our unprinted birth plan onto Jude's iPhone. Let's hope someone reads Apple at the hospital...

4.20am: We're all checked into our Labor/Delivery/Recovery/Postpartum (LDRP) Room, a place I will not leave for the next 48 hours...

Sometime between pre-dawn and morning: A whole string of residents, medical students, attending physicians, nurses, anesthesiologists come trooping through our room asking me for my medical history- OK, hello, I'm having a baby and in some amount of pain- do I really need to be repeating my drug allergies to the 16 different people coming through that door?

8.30am: The attending OB comes in with a posse of medical students and unceremoniously announces to me that after 6 hours of labour, I'm only 1cm dilated and no where close to making the progress to the 10cm necessary for Sophie's birth. She highly recommends induction via Pitocin (or what Jude dubs the Bag of Pain) to speed up my contractions and hence dilation... I'm petrified by the process of any kind of medical intervention and ask for time to think about it.

Friday morning: Call every friend I know who's had a baby and ask for advice on artificial induction and the prospect of an epidural because of it. Feedback is to take the Pitocin. Since my water had already broken, we basically have 24-hours before Sophie was going to have to be delivered anyway or risk infection. If I didn't get the induction, and I'm not fully dilated by 24-hours of my water breaking, it might have to be a C-section and that was the last thing I wanted.

11.00am: Announce to the nurse that I'll take the Pitocin.

Noon: Have a very bad hospital hotdog for lunch. But it didn't look as bad as Jude's gloppy lasagna...

1.00pm- 4.00pm: Deal with what I think are some fairly painful contractions. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say they were 7s or 8s.

4.00: Pitocin arrives finally (there was an issue with some pump...). We brace ourselves for the onslaught...

4:00- 11:00: OK- so here's where it gets interesting. I knew what a wuss I am when it comes to pain and I was kind of proud of myself for bearing with the increasingly painful contractions (so we're talking 9s and 10s now...) quite well. Jude was an awesome birth coach and really supportive every step of the way. We tried all the different pain-relieving positions we learned at childbirth class and moved around the room as much as we could. I was convinced I might just be able to pull off a crunchy, unmedicated, natural-as-granola birth. Yay, the pain coward! Right? Wrong.

11.00: A resident comes in to check my dilation and sheepishly announces to me that even with the Pitocin and the added intensity of the contractions, I had only progressed by another... get ready for this... 1 cm! OK, people, 2 cm dilated after 18 hours- I thought I was ready to pass out. If I had to endure this amount of pain for goodness knows how long more before I was completely dilated, you may as well just rip the baby out of me right now. And like I said, because we checked into the hospital in the middle of the night, Jude and I essentially hadn't slept in 36 hours. Given more rest, I might have been able to cope with the pain, but coupled with the exhaustion, it was too much. I caved in and got the epidural. So much for a crunchy birth...

11.00pm- 2.00am (Saturday, 8/8/09): Jude and I finally get some sleep. The epidural takes almost all the pain away and I barely feel a thing. I remember drifting in and out of sleep, the sounds of Kate Bush and this video ringing through my ears. I think it might have to do with having just found out about John Hughes' death the night before and deciding to put "A Woman's Work" onto our labour and delivery playlist (which of course, we didn't get a chance to either 1) transfer onto our iPods, or 2) use even if we wanted to- listening to music was the last thing on my mind, honestly...)

2:00am: A resident comes in to check on my progress and lo and behold, she feels Sophie's head! The next 20 minutes is a blur- all the lights in the room come on, I hear stuff being carted in (I didn't have my glasses or contacts on and can't see a thing...), people flood the room, Jude squeezes my hands, and we prepare to push.

2:38am: Sophie's arrives! I hear her before I see her and immediately burst out crying... :) It was everything I had imagined it to be and it was wonderful. They laid her on my bare skin and I started crying even more... until I heard the doctor shoving the surgical scissors in Jude's hand, insisting he cut the cord. No way that's going to happen, I thought, but the doctor persisted and I started smiling, then laughing at Jude's look of horror-- I imagine-- when the nurse warned him, "Be careful of the spurting..." He eventually cuts it :)

And just as quickly as it happened, the doctors and nurses cleaned up and cleared out of the room in a jiffy too. The birth was uneventful to everyone else but us and in about 30 minutes, Jude, Sophie and I were left alone for some quality family time.

I think I'm putting all this down in words more for our benefit than anyone else's- it was an amazingly profound experience- and nothing exactly like it will ever happen again. Sophie's birth was a once in a lifetime event and despite the initial anxiety and fear, and the pain of the process itself, it's something I will always remember and embrace joyfully and lovingly :)

There really is no sweeter sound...

We could watch her hiccup all day... :)

What do babies dream of?...

Mmmm... boobies...

I wonder if they'll crown me Princess Poopypants Face? Daddy calls me that all the time.

Mmmmm... is it dinner time? Mmmmmilk...

More burping please.

Must.Figure.Way.Out.Of.Swaddle.

More milk please. Please... Please people!

I love to sleep.

Did I say I love to sleep. And feed.

*Poop*

Mmmm... boobies.

World, meet Sophie En Yew; Sophie, meet World

In the end, it was to be done *her* way :) Sophie En Yew arrived 3 weeks early (right on the dot of her 37th week), in the middle of the night, amidst much panic, excitement, anxiety, sleeplessness (which continues to plague us...), and profound, indescribable joy :) We're completely besotted with our little peanut (what all the nurses at the hospital called her because she's so tiny- birth weight: 5lbs, 12 oz), and can't believe it's actually possible that between the two of us, we created something so beautiful...

For those of you who've been asking about her name, I've actually loved the name Sophie for a long time now (as some of you loyal blog-readers would have astutely noticed), but it was actually Jude who picked it the day we found out we were having a girl right there in the ultrasound clinic. We've been calling her that ever since and can't imagine naming her anything else. As for her middle name, "En", it's actually her Chinese name (恩), meaning piety and kindness. If nothing else, we wish most that our daughter will grow up not only wise, but also kind and loving; that she will see the good in the world and all people and treat them with the respect, dignity, and heart that everyone all deserves...

Three surprises

It was one of those days that happens once in a while- it starts off innocuously enough but ends up leaving a smile on your face :) I spent the day in school and came home in the evening to not one, not two, but THREE surprises! First, our sort-of new neighbor with whom we think we're having some issues (don't ask- we don't know why either... we've always prided ourselves on being very good neighbors if you ask me), saw me coming home and actually waved *and* smiled at me from her kitchen window. Not a "oops-she-caught-me-looking-at-her" half smile, but what seemed like a genuinely positive acknowledgment of my existence. It actually was kind of nice :) Who knows? next thing you know, she might be bringing us borscht soup (they're Russian)!

Then I was greeted at the door with two mystery packages. We've pretty much received all the gifts we were expecting and neither one of us had ordered anything else so I was kind of puzzled that there were more boxes to be opened. One was a little package of three cute little hair clips from this etsy shop. It arrived without any note and just a name card of the lady who makes and a message addressed to me saying something about my niece. Turns out, it was my sister who wanted to surprise me with hair accessories for Baby! It's probably the one thing we haven't bought since who knows how much hair the little girl's going to have?? :) It was the sweetest gesture and a really pleasant surprise too- thank you, thank you!! (Although all thanks to her, I then squandered almost an hour scouring etsy for other hair accessories vendors- see here and here in particular. So precious!...)

The other larger box contained-- and this almost knocked my socks off-- a Skip*Hop Dash Deluxe diaper bag! It was actually one of the first things Jude and I had wanted to get way back when because it came highly recommended from so many of our friends. But we ended up not buying a designated diaper bag since we figured we could just use our existing Timbuk2 messenger bag and save the money. My friend, Linda, was the one who sent the generous gift and we're truly, truly appreciative :) We really like the Dash because 1) it's designed to look like a hip messenger bag and not a diaper bag so Jude can feel comfortable carrying it- the last thing we want is to carry anything with frou-frou patterns or Winnie-the-Pooh emblazoned all over; 2) it attaches to the stroller so we don't have to be carrying it all the time; and 3) it's versatile such that in the event that we stop using it as a diaper bag, either one of us can just use it as a regular bag. Awesomeness!

Many thanks to the three people who made this day just that little brighter with your lovely gesture and gifts! Probably only one of you-- and you know who you are-- will read this post but it doesn't change the fact that each of you had a part in making today that much sunnier :)

Love's labour's lost?

As Baby's arrival date looms before us, one of the greatest decisions we have to make is whether or not I'll be doing things au naturale or get an epidural. At this point, we really have no opinion and our friends have been pretty divided on the issue as well- some are of the "You don't have to be a martyr to be a mother" camp and say to just take the epidural and I might be able to sneak in a nap and actually "enjoy" the labour experience; others are of the "Women have been doing this for centuries without pain relief" opinion who believe that the naturally-occurring pain of labor is far more bearable than the potential side effects of an epidural, both on me as well as Baby.

Part of me wants to just try things intervention-free, at least for a while, just to be able to say I've experienced what labour feels like; the other part of me knows how much of a wuss I am and wants to be given the epidural the moment it's medically possible. So what does the grad student part of me do in a situation like this? Well, make use of the university's library resources and access the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology online archives of course... I was tired of reading through message boards filled with birth stories involving terms like "ring of fire", "flood of euphoria", "focusing on the gift", "ride of your life" and actually craved something more objective, more balanced, more... scientific. Give me real numbers, statistics and generalizability please. And to my rescue comes Volume 186, Issue 5, published in 2002, an entire issue of the journal devoted to pain management during childbirth. According to the Executive Summary:

An evidence-based framework, including commissioned papers prepared according to carefully specified scopes and guidelines for systematic review methods, was used to develop more definitive and authoritative answers to many questions in this field. The papers were presented at an invitational symposium jointly sponsored by the Maternity Center Association and the New York Academy of Medicine, were peer-reviewed, and are published in full in this issue of the journal. The results have implications for policy, practice, research, and the education of both health professionals and childbearing women.

And so for "leisure" reading this weekend, Serene Koh will be combing through:
1)"The nature of labor pain", Nancy K. Lowe
2) "Anesthesia for childbirth: Controversy and change", Donald Caton, Michael A. Frölich, Tammy Y. Euliano
3) "Unintended effects of epidural analgesia during labor: A systematic review", Ellice Lieberman, Carol O'Donoghue
4) "The effects of epidural analgesia on labor, maternal, and neonatal outcomes: A systematic review", Barbara L. Leighton, Stephen H. Halpern
5) "Epidural analgesia side effects, co-interventions, and care of women during childbirth: A systematic review", Linda J. Mayberry, Donna Clemmens, Anindya De
6) "Pain and women's satisfaction with the experience of childbirth: A systematic review", Ellen D. Hodnett
7) "Labor pain management in the United States: Understanding patterns and the issue of choice", Theodore R. Marmor, David M. Krol

Oooh... goody.

5 things...

...I miss most during pregnancy:
1) Food freedom
And I don't just mean sushi or caffeinated coffee (which boo-hoo, I can't stomach anymore!) I'm talking more the freedom to eat anything and not have to worry, like runny eggs, lunchmeats (even though I never was a huge lunchmeat person), seafood or cheeses (yes, you can eat fish-- you should eat fish-- but only some kinds of fish. And no soft cheese, but some soft cheese are fine... Shellfish is OK but it sometimes depends. Maine lobster or spiny???)

2) Breathing and laughing properly
This is happening more in the past 2 weeks as Baby gets exponentially larger. It seems as if just standing up from the couch requires an inordinate amount of oxygen. Don't even get me started on walking up and down the stairs. And I realized that I can't LOL as comfortably as I used to- why didn't anyone warn me about this? Jude was saying something crazy hilarious to me last night and it actually hurt to laugh- it then made me a little sad, which brings me to...

3) Emotional control
Actually, it's more just control over my state of mind in general. There are those moments of inexplicable weepiness (like over the Cheerios ad with the son waking his parents up with a bowl of Cheerios to lower their cholesterol- like hello???), panic (like last night when I went to bed convinced that if I got an epidural, Baby would spend her first month in a drug-induced blur), and all-round spaciness (I tried paying for groceries with my student ID.)

4) Cute shoes
I've been alternating between all of 3 pairs of shoes these past months- my Birkenstock sandals, my Chacos sandals, and a pair of PF Flyers tweed ballet flats (ok, those are kind of cute...). Nothing else makes sense or gives me any support. And while I would love to continue wearing my comfy Converse sneakers, I haven't been able to tie my own shoelaces for a while now...

5) All-round mobility
I should have known that the odd symmetry of a pregnant body was going to get in the way of movement in general- getting in and our of the car, the shower, the bed, off the couch, etc. I can't stand for too long, nor sit for too long. A regular chair isn't very comfy, but neither is our kneeling chair. And I miss sleeping on my tummy.


...I appreciate about pregnancy:
1) Food freedom
I've tried to be really good about what I've been eating during the pregnancy-- lots of whole grains, brown rice, fresh veggies, lean protein, and nuts. But I've also given in to that that extra scoop of ice-cream after dinner, just one more piece of chocolate, pancakes for supper, a funnel cake at Art Fair, a handful more chips than I should have with my sandwich, etc- just basically indulgences I wouldn't have otherwise allowed myself. I have to say, it *almost* makes up for not being able to have sushi.

2) Being pampered
And I don't mean spas or massages (although I have to say that I enjoyed the two guilt-free pedicures I've gotten in the past 3 months which is more than I usually get in a year). It's how people have just been watching out for you- Jude's been doing the laundry since I can't even remember when, people let me cut in line for bathrooms all the time, Mr Bus Driver Man made sure I'm safely seated before moving, and the guy at Trader Joe's helped me load groceries into the car without me even asking. I have to say, I might really miss all this kindness :)

3) Guilt-free sleep
I love to sleep. Ask Jude. Or my sisters. Or my parents. And since being pregnant, I've allowed myself the luxury of sleeping almost as much as I like. It used to be that every minute spent sleeping felt like a minute less work done or one chore less completed, but for the past few months, if I felt like sleeping in a little or taking that mid-afternoon nap, I've allowed myself to. Once Baby arrives, sleeping at all might be wishful thinking.

4) Being told I'm looking radiant
I don't get compliments on how I look very often but ever since getting pregnant, people have been saying nice things about my pregnancy glow :) I'm thankful that I've had none of the puffiness in my cheeks and nose or the ashen pallor I was expecting; in fact, my complexion has actually improved with the pregnancy. For that, I'm really grateful to the little one :)

5) Feeling Baby move
I complain about this sometimes, especially when she decides to jab my internal organs or perform extreme acrobatics just as I'm about to fall asleep; but it's also a most wondrous sensation that's hard to describe to anyone. Jude feels her move whenever we lay close together or when he has his hands on my tummy, but it isn't the same as feeling her actually move inside your body. She's a feisty one for sure and we love her all the more for it- it's like her way of reminding us that she's coming soon and we better be ready! :)

Do you remember your first love?

*MUST WATCH!!!* Look out for the little boy's expression at 1:12 and witness a little heart sing with joy... :) So very, very, precious!

From Yasmin Ahmad's series of one-min TV spots for the Petronas company.

RIP...

It's our party and we'll have fun if we want to...

1. With Henry & Melissa, 2. Wonderful friends and hosts, Julie & Sarah, 3. Cupcakes outside, 4. Shower balloons, 5. Many, many presents to open, 6. Love, love, love!, 7. Girlfriends :), 8. 10 more books!, 9. Swaddling blankets and crib sheets

I know, it probably is a little much to have had three baby showers but we've made many good friends here in AA, and are really blessed that they all want to celebrate our impending parenthood with us. This time, it was with my classmates from the School of Education. I explicitly told our friends Julie & Sarah who hosted that I wanted it 1) to be a co-ed thing (why can't our guy friend celebrate with us too?); 2) games-free (I don't want anyone smelling anything off diapers or measuring my tummy); and 3) to be as casual as possible. And it turned out to be everything I had hoped for and more :) Thanks to wonderful weather, we grilled burgers outside and had plenty of snacks, drinks, dessert and good company. There was some talk of babies and parenthood but mostly just good chatting among friends about food, pets, crazy grad students, and whether or not Eve Aronoff was going to bomb out of next season's Top Chef... In fact, everyone had so much fun that it went on from 5 till almost 11, way longer than any baby shower I've been to (which I hope meant people treated it more like a party than a baby shower to begin with...)

We also got beautiful gifts, from things we registered for (blankets and crib sheets) to books to add to Baby's already large book collection, and yes, of course, more clothes... :) Both of us-- I'm glad we had a co-ed party so Jude wouldn't be left out of the fun-- had a wonderful, wonderful time :) Between this party and the birthday/shower extravaganza we had for Jude, I've come to realize that really, a baby shower doesn't have to involve only women, finger foods, and silly games that embarrass not only the would-be mom but the people in attendance as well. It can and should be anything *you* want it to be. To those of you out there expecting a baby shower, remember, it's *your* party, so make sure you have fun!

Babymoon + Pitchfork = Pure Awesomeness!

1. View of Michigan Ave from our hotel room, 2. The Flaming Lips, 3. The Threadless booth, 4. Chicago by night, 5. Banana Royale, 6. Love the sign!, 7. Crowds, 8. The extraordinary foie gras hotdog, 9. Close enough to take a photo of the signage

I'm SO glad we took this babymoon- it was one of the best trips we've taken to Chicago and definitely a most wonderful way to 1) celebrate one of our favorite cities in the U.S.; 2) enjoy our last babyless vacation; 3) partake of so much good food we were barely ever hungry over the four days; and 4) indulge in some seriously rocking good music. On the food front, old faithful La Pasadita was as trustworthy as always to satisfy, to the point of actually defeating Jude with its Super Carne Asada Burrito which he astoundingly couldn't finish... Our high hopes for Hot Doug's were also more than fulfilled (despite an hour and a half wait)- the foie gras and Sauternes hotdog (with truffle aioli, foie gras mousse and Sel Gris) was, in a word, extraordinary, single-handedly the most exceptional tubed meat we've ever tasted. Honestly, someone should give the man an award... There were also a couple of serendipitous finds, the most outstanding of which was Hot Chocolate, a dessert bar we stumbled upon when looking for some late-night sweets. We walked in not knowing that pastry chef, Mindy Segal, is a three-time James Beard Award-winner for Outstanding Pastry Chef. And then we had her desserts and knew why (see here and here). Who knew chocolate could taste so complex and that a banana dessert could have so many more dimensions than just... well, banana?? And then there was Tweet, a quaint little breakfast nook in the Uptown/Edgewater neighborhood where we got brunch yesterday before heading out. Jude loved his Caprese Omelet and while my biscuits and gravy was a little on the rich side, it was delicious and satisfying, perfectly complimented by yummy decaf Intelligentsia coffee :)

And of course, there was Pitchfork, which really blew our minds this year (and which I was able to more comfortably enjoy thanks largely to the folding chair Jude had the foresight to insist we bring along...) I'm not sure it's actually possible, but every year we go, there seems to just be exponentially more people. And this year-- maybe it's just us-- we noticed more families than ever with young children, even infants. We also had more than a handful of people randomly start conversations with us either dispensing advice on how to bring a baby to a music festival (one woman has been bringing her preschooler to Pitchfork since he could crawl- in her words, "He thinks it's just one giant picnic with people playing music."); how to keep the kids occupied (a ball, bubbles, and the baseball diamond seemed to suffice...); or making us promise to come back next year with Baby in tow. It was sweet and communal and really, really nice :) The music was outrageously good, notably (for me anyway) The Pains of Being Pure at Heart and M83. BUT the band that truly blew out minds out of the water was closing act, The Flaming Lips. We've never seen them 'live' but have heard that they're an awesome performing band. See for yourselves why:



The Lips were part of Pitchfork's "Write the Night" concept where ticket-buyers got the option to choose songs for the setlists of the bands. 25 songs appeared on The Lips' list and they played about twelve. The #1 song was played last and stirred the whole of Union Park into a rapturous, reverent singalong. Ladies and gentlemen, The Flaming Lips play "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots":

Last hurrah

So Jude and I are off to Chicago tomorrow for our last couple vacation before Baby arrives- my friend, Julie, calls it our "babymoon" :) We've been looking forward to this for a while now- a combination of taking a break from work and all the baby prep, enjoying some "us" time in one of our favourite cities in the summer, and making our annual pilgrimage the Pitchfork Music Festival which we've attended every year-- except last year-- since it's inauguration. Everyone thinks we'll be able to score prime spots from which to watch the bands because of my "delicate condition"- no one wants to be that jerk who gets in the way of the pregnant woman wanting to see Yo La Tengo up close... ;) We also managed to land a really awesome deal (40% off regular rates!!) at the Intercontinental Hotel Chicago right on Michigan Avenue off Hotwire, which only makes the trip all the sweeter.

There's too much about Chicago that we love to describe here but on this trip, apart from Pitchfork (see sample playlist of the bands playing below), we're also hoping to hit the Art Institutes of Chicago to visit their new wing. It's been years in the making and Jude and I have always loved their amazing collection. In particular, I'm eager see Chagall's America Windows again. Kept in storage as the new wing was being constructed, I remember how it took my breath away the first time I saw it.

We've of course also planned several food stops: an old trusty favorite- La Pasadita for their blow-our-minds, knock-our-socks-off tacos, and a new adventure- Hot Doug's for foie gras hot dogs and duck fat fries. Yes, yes, you read that right, foie gras hot dogs and duck fat fries :) I probably can't have the foie gras but potatoes fried in duck fat- man!...

Pitchfork Music Festival 2009

Being in class again

After almost twenty years of being in school, I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good student- not in terms of grades or anything but more the whole knowing what it means to be a student thing, i.e. paying attention, taking notes, asking questions, etc. But when it comes to the classes we've been taking in preparation for Baby's arrival, it's a whole other ballgame man... Oh, don't get me wrong, we're both trying to be really good parent-students: following the instructions to fold the swaddling blanket down the correct corner, holding the pretend baby the right way to practice burping, nodding appreciatively when we're told the different colours and textures that poop comes in, etc.

But really, can't there be a more scintillating way of teaching the class such that neither one of us feels like falling asleep an hour into the class, or something that keeps us from checking our watches every 15 minutes?...

Bibio - Haikuesque (When she laughs)

Just thought to share a tune that has been on constant replay in the Yew-Koh household. I have to admit that I just love the title to this track and wished that I had thought of it myself :)

Some background info aboutBibio - its the nom de plume of Brit music producer Stephen Wilkinson, who, according to the Pitchfork review of his new album, is producing music unlike any other that he's released so far. I have to admit that Bibio's album, Ambivalence Avenue, has placed itself as my 2009 summer listening fave so far!

Eve of eve on Top Chef!

Ann Arbor represent! Via Jude, I found out today that Eve Aronoff of Ann Arbor's own eve will be one of the contestants on the new season of Top Chef starting in August! We fell in love with eve (and Eve's cooking) the year after we moved here and have been going to the restaurant almost religiously every year since for our special occasion celebrations (see here). We even brought my parents and sisters there when they came to visit in 2005.

Admittedly, our recent visits to eve have been a little uneven-- a plate of over-seasoned scallops comes to mind in particular-- but we do appreciate how interesting Eve's food always is. While its roots are French, there's often an innovative twist of that special something something, whether it's lavender in her sauces, lemongrass in her rice, or rose water in her quinoa. And her triple chocolate pots de crème will always be one of our favorite desserts anywhere :) Another plus, every Thursday between 9.00 and 11.00, appetizers are free!

Jude and I had a conversation about her chances on the show and we're not sure. It's not like she's some self-trained line cook or a sous chef like many Top Chef contestants often are- she already owns her own restaurant and has also presented a meal before the James Beard foundation which is no mean feat, so it's not like she has anything to prove. Whatever the case is though, it'll be exciting to watch someone whose food we're actually familiar with on the show- it's already one of our favorite things to catch on TV... :)

Meet Molly

With our doula, Molly
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

This is me with Molly, our doula. She's going to be supporting Jude and I in the labor and delivery process come the big day. The word "doula" comes from ancient Greek meaning "woman of service" but has evolved to now refer to a woman trained and experienced in childbirth. Basically, her job is to "mother the mother". She provides physical, emotional, and informational support to both the mom and dad during labor, delivery and in the immediate postpartum period. Studies show that when doulas are present at birth, women have shorter labors, fewer medical interventions, fewer cesareans, and healthier babies.

Thankfully (depending on how you look at it), because of our measly grad student stipends, we qualify for free doula services through Doulas Care. But I actually know Molly from school- she's a fellow grad student and we even took a class together a couple of years ago. She's just wonderful- warm, funny, and so generous in helping to demystify some of the unknowns coming our way. Another reason why Jude and I are opting to have a doula present is also just as a source of comfort and support, especially since our parents will probably not be with us (my parents are arriving the week after Baby's EED). We think that having a non-medical personnel there who knows us personally and not just as a patient and her partner will really help to ease much of the anxiety, not just for me, but also for Jude. This is as much of a life-changing experience for him as it is for me and whatever we can do to reduce extraneous distress or pressure either one of us might feel will definitely be helpful. While the doctors and nurses are there to respond to the medical aspect of the process, childbirth is also a profoundly emotional and spiritual experience, and we believe that having Molly there will help us appreciate that dimension a little better.

We've heard from friends who've had a doula with them that it's just one of the best decisions they made, especially when it's their first time- information on the procedures to expect, clarification of medical terminology, massages when you need it, running out for ice-chips so that dad can be by mom's side, suggestions for different birthing positions, advice/advocacy when medical personnel suggest non-necessary procedures, that extra encouragement during labor, etc. We've only met with Molly "officially" as our doula twice and she's already been such a wonderful source of comfort and assurance; we're certain that her presence by our sides come some time late August will be more even more invaluable :)

A baby week

Two nights ago, I dreamt of Baby. I dreamt of her birth-- unsurprisingly, I didn't dream of the pain involved (I think my mind is subconsciously blocking out that part of the process)-- and how she looks- a full head of hair and huge eyes :) In my dream, she cried a lot and was *very* pink... It was an extremely vivid dream, which is why I still have a mental picture of it in my head today. I think my mind is responding to what is shaping up to be a baby-filled week for us: starting with our tour of the Birth Center last evening, we have our first infant care class scheduled for tonight, our final ultrasound tomorrow, and on Friday, we're meeting with our doula, Molly, to go through our birth plan.

The tour of the Birthing Center at the C. S. Mott Children's and Women's Hospital was both exhilarating but also a little unnerving. Walking around the hospital and being acquainted with the facilities made me a tad nervous as I envisioned ourselves in one of the birthing rooms sometime within the next two months. Having said that, it has always been comforting for us to know that Mott's is one of the best pediatric and women's hospital in the country and I'm sure we'll be well taken care of in every way. I love the fact that they only have a very small nursery and that as much as possible, they believe in rooming the baby with you; it's the university hospital and hence a teaching hospital, which means that they'll always be experts and professors doing rounds and checking in on you; a home care nurse will visit us at home within three days of discharge to make sure that Baby and I are doing well; and security-wise, they have what our friends like to call the Baby LoJack which basically tags the baby with a security chip such that if anyone but the parents tries to take the baby past different parts of the hospital, the whole hospital shuts down, including doors and elevators. It's a great security measure but we're also seeing the potential for a lot of comedy- I'm imagining grandparents or relatives carrying the newborn around and unwittingly setting the system off and inadvertently putting the entire hospital on lockdown ;)

For the little bit of anxiety it caused, I'm still glad we did the tour- it's reassures us once more that all three of us are in good hands; we now know exactly what to do to make sure we get to the hospital and checked in properly when the moment hits us; and little by little, a bit of the mystique and unknown of this whole childbirth/delivery business is slowly being stripped away... :)