I knew there was a reason why we take so many high-resolution photos

I was supposed to spend the morning finishing up data analysis for my dissertation. What did I end up doing instead? Designing Sophie's first birthday invitation.

I got carried away... (thanks, tinyprints!)

1. one, 2. two, 3. three, 4. four, 5. five, 6. six, 7. seven, 8. eight, 9. nine

And so the birthday prep begins...

So in a little over a month, Sophie's going to turn one. Unbelievable. 12 whole months. 365 days. And we survived it. People say a child's first birthday celebration is as much for the parents-- to celebrate them making it through the first year!-- as much as it is for the kid. I don't know about that, but we do want to make it special whatever the case may be. Since we don't have family here, Sophie's party will be an intimate affair, with our close friends here and their children. Which might work out better since I'm not sure how Sophie will take to a big do. I want to make this first celebration of life fun, significant, and memorable without being big, loud, and elaborate (we'll save that for her 5th birthday when I'm sure she'll ask for ponies, a petting zoo, and the cast of Sesame Street...) I've heard too many horror stories of large birthday parties that scare and over-stimulate children who then spend the entire party either hiding in their rooms, clinging onto to Mom/Dad, or screaming their heads off in the corner somewhere. I just want Sophie to be happy and comfortable, and a small party may work out best.

We briefly contemplated a play gym sort of place but for the number of people we're thinking of inviting, it doesn't quite make sense; plus for a first birthday, I was hoping for something a little less structured. Then there was talk of a children's museum but with Sophie being so young, that doesn't make sense either. Right now, our top choice is Ortega Park in Sunnyvale. It has large open spaces for the kids to run (or crawl) about, a water structure for splashing around in, and several play structures. Sophie loves being outdoors so she'll be in her comfort zone, the adults won't feel awkward being confined in a small space with furniture a quarter their size, and everyone gets to enjoy the gorgeous Californian weather (we hope). We'll either sprawl out over several picnic blankets or set up the party on the park benches. I'm thinking finger-food all round (so Sophie can have some too!), cupcakes from Sprinkles or Kara's for everyone, and a special vegan cupcake for Sophie (no one wants a hivey, itchy birthday girl...). We might even throw in a piñata for good measure!

What I'm most excited about though is a time-capsule I'm preparing for the occasion. It's something I've always known I wanted to do. I figure, you can buy toys, books and clothes, but you can't buy memories. I'll let our guests decide if they want to bring something to put in it, but mostly, it's for us to her. It'll be something unique and special for her to open on her 18th birthday. It'll have things that were important to her in her first year, things that are popular for 18-year old girls right now, and keepsakes from us, close friends, and family to the 18-year old her. Thanks to suggestions after a Facebook post and just things we've been setting aside, it looks like the time capsule will contain (for now):
1) the pink and blue blanket she was first wrapped in at the hospital (was I meant to return it?)
2) a cap the nurses gave her that she then wore home
3) her first cast
4) her first club foot shoe
5) photos of memorable events in her first year
6) the daily record she got from her first day at daycare
7) her first piece of artwork
8) a print of her feet that we did at mommy group (I've already framed a print of her hands for Jude for Fathers' Day)
9) the label off her container of puffs- sometimes, I think she loves those things more than she loves me (I contemplated keeping the puffs themselves but I don't think organic, non-artificially flavored puffs are made to last 17 years)
10) her crazy star toy from her play gym that she used to love so much but has since outgrown
11) any one of her bedtime books (that's if she'll part with them)
12) (from Cari) one of our favorite outfits to dress her in (so the 18-year old her can be surprised that something so small actually fit her once)
13) (from Srah) A mix-CD with all the popular music of today (which she will just laugh at, and probably not even own a CD player so maybe mp3 files on a USB drive instead...)
14) a copy of Twilight (for some comparison to whatever it is that will be driving teenage girls crazy in 2027)
15) (from Aileen) a copy of the New York Times from Aug 8 2009, although Sophie's going to have to settle for a digital copy of the front page from that day. This was one of the things I really wanted Jude to grab the day of Sophie's birth but in my drugged-up, blissed-out haze, asking my husband to leave my side just to buy the newspapers was probably the last thing on my mind.
16) who knows what form this blog will take in a decade and a half so I'll probably print out at least her birth story for posterity.
17) a note from the both of us predicting the kind of girl she'll be at 18

We'd love any other suggestions people might have, and for those of you who want to add to the capsule-- you know who you are!-- let us know. I'll probably only put everything together when we return to Ann Arbor in September so you have time before I seal the darn thing up for the next 17 years! :)

The guide to successful self-feeding

Just because I have allergies and can't eat certain foods doesn't mean I don't have an opinion about how food should be consumed. In fact, because of my sensitivities, I'm particularly careful about how I approach feeding myself. It is a very delicate ritual and involves all sorts of complicated skills like fine motor coordination and knowing where your mouth is.

So first, one must hold the item up close to inspect for potential discoloration or foul smell.

Next, break down said item to smaller pieces to expedite ingestion.

Before actual consumption, a very important procedure must first be executed. It's very technical. We babies call it "squishing".

And now, we eat.

What we did on our (7th) anniversary weekend

1. Monterey Bay Aquarium, 2. Hello fishies, 3. Up close and personal with a starfish, 4. Take out dinner from the Monterey Fish House, 5. @ Spanish Bay, 6. This one is for Dad: 18th hole at Pebble Beach, 7. View of the Pacific Ocean from Highway 1, 8. Deep fried abalone sandwich, 9. All pooped out from the trip

Took many desktop wallpaper-esque photos at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Fell in love with jellyfish.

Watched Sophie touch a starfish for the first time.

Realized that a kelp forest can be as arresting as a real one.

Got takeout two nights in a row from the Monterey Fish House and discovered that you can have delicious takeout seafood (and that in California, they take their scallops very seriously...)

Felt bad for having a seafood dinner after spending the day at the aquarium.

Paid $9.50 just to drive along a scenic route.

Realized that said route isn't just another scenic route.

Took more desktop wallpaper-esque photos at Spanish Bay.

Realized that we will never tire of looking at the Pacific Ocean.

Watched Sophie cling to Jude for dear life when we brought her a little too close to the crashing waves.

Visited the Pebble Beach Golf Links (where the U.S. Open was held two weeks ago) and wished my dad was there with us.

Discovered olallieberry pie but was not impressed.

Discovered deep-fried abalone sandwich and was very impressed. Count our culinary minds blown yet again...

Allowed our breaths to be taken away by the stunning scene of the sun setting on the Pacific Ocean just to the left of us while the Santa Cruz mountains passed by on our right along Highway 1.

Planned our next trip to the coast.

Liquid gold

Just in the brief month we've been in the Bay Area, we've been lucky enough to not only indulge in some of our favorite foods--ramen, tacos-- but also discover new ones- Korean soups, to-die-for pastries, etc. But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared us for the glorious magnificence that is the salted caramel ice-cream from Bi-Rite Creamery in San Francisco. Voted one of the nation's 5 Best Desserts of the Year in 2009 and #35 on the list of 100 Things to Try in San Francisco Before You Die, Bi-Rite's salted caramel is single-handedly the most luscious, decadent, launch-a-song-in-your-heart-good ice-cream we've had ever. So delicious I'm dedicating an entire blog post just to it.

Amidst the smorgasbord of desserts that we had for dinner last night (yes, dessert for dinner- we figured, we're in the Bay Area, dare to live a little...), we made the (fortunate) mistake of taking a spoonful of the ice-cream before anything else. And because of that, dinner basically went downhill from there. Don't get me wrong, the pastries and cakes from Tartine and La Boulange de Hayes were perfectly delicious (a goat cheese and pear tart was particularly beguiling), and on any other day, this blog post might have been on any one of those lovely desserts. But everything paled in comparison to the liquid gold that is that perfect ice-cream. Words cannot capture the complex flavor that is Bi-Rite's salted caramel ice-cream: it is at once sweet, creamy, and voluptuous like the best ice-cream should be, but also salty, and just a tad bitter from the burnt caramel to give it a depth of flavor like no ice-cream has ever been, nor will be, in my book. I love it so much that I'm almost afraid to touch the tub that we have in the freezer because it'll mean that we'll eventually run out. After Jude and I had licked the bowl clean last night, we stared into the emptiness and were existentially torn over whether or not to take another spoonful. But one more spoonful now would mean one less spoonful the next time...

How am I ever going to eat another Klondike Bar now? And Häagen-Dazs, I laugh in your face. We have been forever and eternally spoiled for all ice-creams to come.

To see how this perfection is achieved, watch here.

How did we get so lucky to have her in our lives?

Posterity

I want to bottle up moments like these and keep them forever and ever...

[Oh, and Eric reminded me that I should probably set the context for the faces- I asked Sophie to kiss her Ponyo doll, and this is what I got :) Our trusty Nikon D90 was within arm's reach and I managed to catch the split-second sequence of the expression evolving.]

The Ideal Bookshelf

Once we have a house of our own and can give Sophie her own room, the first thing we're going to do-- after we paint the walls a pale robin egg blue with white trimmings-- is to set up her bookshelf. Right now, we have virtually no shelf space left even for our own books and Sophie's books are sadly either strewn over her play area or stacked up in a storage box. When that happens, Sophie's bookshelf will look quite close to Jane Mount's children’s books spine portraits. It features the artist’s own personal favorite children’s titles, and ones that we have in Sophie's library as well. The Velveteen Rabbit, Olivia, Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Peter Rabbit, and of course Goodnight Moon, are among those that are included. Perfect for framing, these prints are sweet, sentimental, and a perfect way to honour storytime of today or yesterday.

It's remarkable how much Mount has captured just by painting the spines of books, and how distinctive they are. Some of my favorites literally jumped out at me when I first saw the picture, which makes you realize that spines are exactly what you use to identify books, whether at the library, bookstore, or on your own bookshelf.

You can pick the prints up here, they are all limited editions, for $20 for a 8” x 10”, $50 for a 11” x 14”, and $200 for the 16” x 20” editions.

I love you, Daddy

I love that you give me the best raspberries ever. I love that you throw me up in the air and make me squeal with delight despite the prospect of grandma killing you if she found out. I love your snores that lull me to sleep. I love that you so gamely change my diaper outside even though I sometimes scream bloody murder at the most inopportune times and places (like at Target). I love that you read to me every night before I go to bed. I love your prickly 2-day shadow that tickles my belly. I love how you help Mama feed me, especially after she's given up because I've fed half my dinner to the floor. I love that you've sacrificed your baseball cap for me to chew on. I love your big hands that hold me so tightly and snugly. I love that you crawl around the house with me on all fours just so I don't feel bad for being the only person in the house who can't walk yet. I love how you tried to sneak me those Snapea snacks when you thought Mama wasn't looking. I love that when you bathe me, you let me play in the tub for just that minute longer. I love that you think my occasional tenacious crying is a sign of "character". I love that even though you only shop bargain for yourself, you are willing to pay full-price for things for me. I love how you understand that I love you even though I call the door knob "Da-da" as well.

I love that you promise to love me for the rest of your life. I promise to love you for the rest of mine.

Happy first Fathers' Day!

Love,
Sophie

How big is Sophie?

As Sophie gets a little older and more able to focus her attention on one thing at a time (but only barely...), we've developed quite a regular book-reading routine. In the day, after lunch and before her afternoon nap, we spend about an hour going through the books I brought with us from home and the books we've taken out from the Santa Clara library. Often, Sophie just enjoys the autonomy of flipping the pages herself but sometimes, she seems to really be listening to my voice as I read to her. And then before bed, as I put her shoes and brace on (which is always an involved process), Jude sits her on his lap and goes through another stack of books we have by our bedside. These are books we know for sure she likes and that hold her attention so she won't get antsy and squirmy as I work on her brace. In particular, she's developed quite an affection for So Big!, a Sesame Street book my friend Julie got for me for my books baby shower. It wasn't a book I thought very much off initially (all those years of working with Sesame Street videos has made me a little averse to all things Elmo...) and I kept trying to read my beloved Eric Carle books to her. But our dear daughter already has a mind of her own and keeps going back to Elmo (she squawks until she gets what she wants); in particular, she likes it when I build up the suspense to the last page when Elmo pops up with his arms stretched across two pages- "Sooooo big!" Sometimes, she gets impatient when Jude reads the front matter and will grab the book from him and finger it to the last page all by herself just to see Elmo pop out. Which of course means that I've already had to mend the pop-up once because she loved it so much, she ripped it off the pages...

On top of that-- talk about a happy coincidence-- her wonderful nanny at daycare, Doris, has also been working with Sophie on raising her hands every time she asks, "How big is Sophie?" I didn't think Sophie would play along- I didn't think she was ready. I was so wrong.


(And her starring at the ceiling fan every morning over breakfast has clearly left its own indelible mark...)

So there-- Moms and Dads-- don't underestimate the power of books, or of consistent reinforcement. It's potent stuff. And never underestimate your baby- they're waaaaay smarter than you think.

Comfort food

Sophie having lunch
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

Sophie is officially over fruit and veggie purees. Oh, she'll have them for breakfast when I mix in her multi-grain cereal (oats, spelt, and barley), but for a while now, apart from breakfast, she'll purse her lips, close her eyes, and resolutely turn her head away if I even venture to spoon some in her mouth.

And so I now find myself making almost grown-up meals for her as we start transitioning to table foods. The baby recipe books I have recommend baby-friendly casseroles like chicken with mixed veggies, and lentil stew, which I tried and Sophie took to them just fine. But as all Asian mothers know, the best baby food is rice porridge (jook), and Sophie loves it more than any other food we've given her, even her puffs. I've wondered why American moms don't make rice porridge for their babies as often- maybe because it's hard to make in large batches, doesn't keep long, and can't be conveniently frozen. And you can't just throw a bunch of ingredients into a pot and let it cook- well, at least I can't since I don't have a crock pot. To get the smooth consistency that Sophie likes, I have to constantly stir and mash the porridge and veggies as it simmers away and that can be painstaking for some.

But watching Sophie clean her bowl after every meal is worth the chopping, poaching, steaming, and stirring. It doesn't take me that long any more now that I've pretty much gotten it down to a science:

Basic porridge:
1/3 cups of white and brown rice (mixed)
6 2/3 cups of water (basically a 1:8 ratio of rice to water)

And to that, I add a variety of different finely diced veggies and protein. Sophie's favorites:
- butternut squash, peas, and chicken (chicken tenderloins cut into small pieces, poached with the simmering porridge, then chopped finely)
- carrot, potato, and salmon (steamed beforehand, flaked to remove any bones, then added to the cooked porridge),
- sweet potato, broccoli, and whitefish (same as salmon).

Knowing that she loves something that as an adult, I still adore, warms the cockles of my heart. Nothing heals, comforts, soothes, and satisfies quite like a bowl of flavorful, nourishing jook and I'm so glad that Sophie shares that love.

Our happy bug

I can say with a fair amount of certainty that we have a happy child. We do. And we're so grateful. I've seen children who seem perpetually sullen and whiny, who can't be pleased by anything or anyone; children who unhappily cling on to their parents and cry at the mere "hello" from a stranger.

Sophie, I'm happy to report, is not one of them.

She will smile at anyone who will give her the time of day, whether it's the cashier at Trader Joe's (who did not smile back) or the little boy in the swing next to her at the park (who did). She will allow anyone to carry her- as long as they smile at her first. She smiles when she wakes up in the morning, and she smiles when she's getting dressed for bed. She's smiles when she sees me peek at her when we play crawl-and-seek, and she smiles when she sees Jude walk through the door when he comes home. She smiles as she rediscovers an old toy she's missed playing with (like Chicky), and she smiles as she explores something for the first time (even if it's a brown paper bag). She smiles when she knows she's done something good and we clap in approval (like not crawl into the kitchen when we tell her not to), and she even smiles when she's about to do something she knows we won't like (like crawl into the bathroom even when we tell her not to). She smiles when she sees herself in the mirror, and smiles when she sees us smiling at her in the mirror. She smiles when she hears the sound of Skype dialing a number, and smiles even more when she sees her grandparents, aunts and uncle appear on the screen. If I had a dollar for every time Sophie smiled, she'll be comfortably paying for her own diapers in smiles alone :)

I'm not sure if we're responsible in any direct way for her sunny disposition-- how does one *teach* a baby to be happy?-- but we'd like to think that we have at least a small part to play when we respond to her smiles with smiles of our own, laugh at her laughs, and talk with her constantly even when it seems silly (some guy at Trader Joe's looked at me funny today when I "asked" Sophie if I should get lemonade or pomegranate juice. She gave me a look that seemed to say, "Why choose?" and so I got both.) I think she knows she's the center of our world and that she will always have our attention. And as a 10 month-old, I guess knowing your parents love you more than anything else in the world is enough to make you smile at everything :)

Through the looking glass

Hello, Mama, do you see me? Hello, hello... Mama!

Mama sees me!

Anybody else sees me? Auntie Teresa? Look at me, please... Pretty please... Look how hard I'm straining my forehead and pudgy hands against the window?

Yay! Thanks for smiling at me, Auntie Teresa! Here's a smile for you too!

Home away from home

So we're pretty much settled in our new apartment and it's beginning to feel a little more like a semi-permanent home rather than a transient hotel. Everything's unpacked and things are in places where they're supposed to be. Sophie seems completely adjusted to the new place- fearlessly crawling everywhere (full carpeting helps), exploring the different rooms and constantly trying to infiltrate the kitchen, the one place that (she knows- I'd like to think...) is out of bounds to her.

We're also exploring our neighborhood a little more and coming to realize that the area we live in is pretty awesome for foodies like us :) A minute away is literally the best ramen Jude and I've had yet- Orenchi Ramen where I surprised Jude with for his birthday dinner a couple of nights ago. It was a Yelp find and we were blown away by how amazingly flavorful it was- the broth was rich, almost smoky, and stick-to-the gut awesome. Really. A hole-in-the-wall, it tastes like how I've always imagined ramen should taste like but have never really had. And if the reviews are to be believed, Orenchi bests even the finest ramen joints in San Francisco, so much so that Jude wants to go back tonight :)

Then there is My Cooking Papa, a recommendation from our friend Jonas, who's originally from Hong Kong. For our readers in Singapore, it's like a Crystal Jade and tastes just as good if not better! Authentic shui-kau soup, seafood hor fun, and Chinese roast meats- it was like we were home home :) And they're so friendly and accommodating to Sophie :) The best thing? Four minutes from our apartment!

Three minutes the other direction is Paris Baguette, a place we've always believed Ann Arbor needs. It combines what we love about Asian bakeries (fresh cream fruit sponge cake and baked bean buns) with the best of European patisseries (delicious breads and pastries). I got Jude his birthday cake from there and I think it made him very happy :)

In terms of grocery stores, there's a great Korean supermarket we discovered our second day here where we can get Asian cuts of meat and our Asian veggies- big, clean, and fresh, it's a far cry from the slightly ghetto Asian supermarkets we're used to. For Sophie's organic produce, we find the Whole Foods here a little pricier than back home actually-- and not nearly as friendly-- and have decided to start shopping at Sprouts instead. The layout leaves a little to be desired but the fruits and veggies are fresh and we can even buy their meats and seafood without feeling like I'm shelling out our month's paycheck for the bill.

So yes, we can't complain about where we live- it took me a while to get used to the apartment and general outlying area but it's grown on me. Having interesting (and not too expensive) places to eat and get our food has become even more important now that 1) Sophie's starting to want to eat more table food and 2) I don't have my own kitchen equipment or a full pantry with which to cook and so eating out's just the easier option. Not that we mind exploring and finding new food gems, of course :)

A gift from us to her

It was a big day for Sophie yesterday- she saw the Pacific Ocean. In fact, we walked right up to it. And I think our daughter expressed the appropriate sense of awe, wonder, and amazement befitting the occasion.

I could almost see in her face and into her little mind as she took in this whole new thing she was not just looking at, but experiencing with all her senses- that seemingly infinite expanse of water, the sound of rolling, crashing waves, the ocean breeze in her face, and that salty scent in the air. It was majestic, gorgeous, and awe-inspiring, and Sophie quietly and carefully took it all in. I'd like to think that today, her parents helped her create a whole new category of images in her mind- one that isn't confined merely to people, streets, or the inside of buildings; but one that is larger, grander, and more profound.

Welcome to a bigger World, Sophie. It's waiting for you.

Sophie, meet the Pacific Ocean

Want something to make your day?

She makes mine :)


Note the single tooth she's sporting. It's small but it's magnificent. And our one-toothed monster is not afraid of using it- BUAHAHAHAHA!...

If I drank, this is one of the mornings where I'd pour myself a stiff one

It started out as one of those days when I felt like Supermom. It's Jude's first day at Yahoo! and I had grand plans for how Sophie and I were going to spend the day while Daddy's at work- I bought some organic blueberries and made whole wheat toast for breakfast; we had a playdate at a nearby park with the Santa Clara mommy group for after her morning nap; and later in the afternoon, I thought it'll be nice to check out the Sunnyvale Public Library that's supposed to have a really good children's section.

Well so much for Supermom- lo and behold, after chomping down 3 blueberries, Sophie started scratching the back of her neck and before I knew it, she was breaking out in hives again! I had looked up blueberries last night to see if it was an allergenic food and apparently, it isn't because it's technically not a real berry like raspberries or strawberries but more like cranberries and grapes. Well, whatever kind of berry it is, it's the kind Sophie's allergic to. I swipe her out of her high chair and run to see if we had any Benadryl with us but between the whole massive recall situation and us moving, we didn't. *drats* And so I bundled her into the car and drove to the nearest Walgreens to get a bottle. Sophie was fine through it all- jabbering and singing away as always and not really showing any other symptoms except the hives and scratching. So there I was, driving into the Walgreens plaza, feeling like a bad enough Mom already, when as I took Sophie out of the car seat and locked all the doors (our rental car does not have automatic doors), what do I do to make an already dramatic morning even more epically tragic? Lock my keys inside of course. After I had dutifully checked that I locked all the doors before walking away. So there I am, carrying my hivey daughter who's still in her PJs, wallet and cellphone in hand (thank god!), standing in the middle of Santa Clara, thousands of miles away from home and her pediatrician, and locked out of our rental car. Yes, go ahead, Mom of the Year Award, yup, that's me.

And you think that's the end, think again. I buy her bottle of Benadryl, feed her a dose, and then proceed to call AAA for roadside assistance. And what do I find out? That only Jude's name is on the membership and that unless he's with me, they won't come out to help us. I thought I was going to lose it... I was barely hanging it in there and basically told Mr John Doe on the phone that he needed to help us because this was as near to an emergency as could be without having to call 911. I didn't want to call Jude to worry him on his first day and just wanted to get Sophie home, plain and simple. I think the panic and anxiety in my voice was palpable over the phone and Mr John Doe very nicely acquiesced and made a one-time exception. Through this all, I couldn't have been more proud of Sophie- I can't imagine that have blotchy hives all over your face and neck could have been very comfortable but she was calm and could be, smiling at everyone at Walgreens, didn't fuss while her mom was having a meltdown, and patiently waited while the AAA truck came to save the day.

The punkin's in bed and sleeping soundly now and her hives seem to have faded so all is good. I still feel like a horrible mother though and on days like this, I wonder why anyone would think it was a good idea for me to have children... Lessons learned today: 1) When in doubt, don't feed your child blueberries; 2) Always have your cellphone with you; 3) Buy a car that you actually need keys to lock; and 4) If you keep your daughter in her PJs while you're having a near nervous breakdown, people are more likely to be sympathetic and help you (thank you Marge, the nice lady at Walgreens for being so sweet and kind about us hanging out in there waiting for AAA!)

Fun in the sun

1. Enjoying the sun, 2. Daddy's girl, 3. Salted caramel soft-serve, 4. Picnic with Rachael!

It was one of those perfect days- we gave in to the lure of the city and took a drive up to San Francisco again yesterday to meet up with our old friend Rachael for a picnic in Dolores Park. The weather was gorgeous-- all sunshine, cool breeze, and blue skies-- and hanging out with Rachael made it even more awesome :) She lives in Oakland, just north of San Francisco, and knew just where to take us to grab some yummy grub for our picnic. Bi Rite Market is just the sort of place I'd move in and stay forever- fresh produce, an amazing array of deli and fresh meats, cheeses, handcrafted sandwiches, thoughtfully prepared foods all crammed into a small homey unit. Armed with a couple of Vietnamese sandwiches, some cherries, potato salad, and a mozzarella and sundried tomato salad, we trooped over to Dolores Park across the street and pretty much sat in the sun for close to two hours. While we caught up with Rachael, Sophie had a field day crawling everywhere, gate-crashing various other picnickers' blankets, smiling openly at complete strangers, and stuffing her little face full of whatever grass she could grab. She was just about the happiest little camper around :)

So much so that she completely passed out in the Ergo carrier when we walked around the Mission District after. Bellies full with lunch and delicious soft-serve ice-cream from the Bi Rite Creamery (salted caramel to be exact), we hopped in and out of a whole host of place you'd only find in a big city- a "pirate shop" (which is really a front for 826 Valencia, Dave Eggers' writing center for teens), a curiosities shop for little kids, and several vintage and used bookstores.

Apart from Singapore being home and us having spent so much time in Chicago, we've lived in few other cities. San Francisco is very different from either of them (and also very different from New York where we've only been a couple of times)- more eclectic, quirkier, and kookier, I want to say. We'll have more opportunities to see more of the city than the Valencia/Guerrero/18th area that we seem to keep going back to, and we're looking forward to that in so many ways :)

And we're here!

After four days in our rental apartment here in Santa Clara, we've finally unpacked our last piece of clothing and put our luggage away for the next three months. We're still sort of settling in but pretty much everything's where it's supposed to be and working. Most importantly, Sophie's sleeping in her new crib as well as we could have hoped for and honestly, that was the thing we were most concerned about- that the move wouldn't disrupt her schedule too much and that she'd take to her new surroundings well. And she has :) I'm not sure if it's the combination of her maturing, curiosity about all the new things she's encountering, having us with her 24/7, or our enthusiasm and excitement about being here rubbing off on her, but our little punkin' has just been in the most awesome of moods this past week. She was on her best behavior on the plane (smiling and sleeping at all the right times) and was less affected by the 3-hour time difference than we were. So far, she's enjoyed the sights and sounds of San Francisco, spent a nice afternoon frolicking around Palo Alto and Stanford, met our old friends from our Masters program, and made some new friends in the form of Dave and Jen's twins, Blake and Jared, and their 4-year-old, Dylan!

Sophie has just been a real trooper these past few days as we got our act together with the apartment- we've been literally schlepping her everywhere like Target to get all the household essentials and Trader Joe's for groceries (it felt really odd stocking up a pantry and fridge from scratch...). She's can be quite independent when she wants to be and while she's become increasingly attached to us both-- needing to snuggle and be held often-- she's also more than happy to explore the new apartment quietly while we unpacked or sit in her high chair and stuff her face with her beloved puffs...

We'll need to pack the apartment a little more before it's photo-ready but we've been dutifully documenting all the fun we've been having so far so enjoy!


1. Watching the clouds, 2. Back-packing the carseat + overstuffed diaper bag, 3. @ Tartine - Lemon Cream Tart, 4. Going on the Golden gate bridge, 5. The day my mom's head turned into a glowing ball, 6. Sophie enjoying some Stanford grass, 7. Our first (of many) Californian sushi meals, 8. Sophie snuggling with Uncle Dave, 9. In Dave & Jen's backyard

How much does my daughter love me?

[@ the San Francisco Exploratarium]

So much that she doesn't even care that my head has turned into a giant glowing ball...

Now, that's deep love.

Go West

I don't think Sophie has any idea what a big day tomorrow is going to be for her. That she'll be taking the second plane ride of her life. And that her day is going to involve waking up in one timezone, and going to bed in another.

As some of you may already know, we're moving to the Bay Area for the summer. Jude scored an internship with Yahoo! and Sophie and I are tagging along for the ride :) It'll be an exciting three months- for Jude to test out if working in industry is his cup of tea and for the awesome experience and exposure, for us to finally live out West for a while, hang out with our friends we haven't seen in years, and just to see for ourselves if Northern California is really all that it's made out to be. We were fortunate enough to secure a rental apartment just for the summer (which comes baby-ready no less), day care for Sophie (three days a week while I work on my dissertation at Stanford), and long-term car rental for those three months.

Which also means that we've been crazy packing this whole weekend. Three months is a tricky period to be packing for- it's short enough that we don't feel like we have to pack up all our worldly possessions, but long enough that we have to pack almost everything we need for day to day living, especially for Sophie- her toys, books, feeding implements, etc. And on top of packing for ourselves, we've had to clear the house up for our subletter who'll be moving in for two months. So the last two days has been a frenzied tossing of clothes and items into one of three things: suitcase, storage box, or our wardrobe in the study room where we're keeping all the clothes we're not bringing with us. Oh, and the four most blessed words through this all: thank god for basements...

We're really looking forward to the next three months- to beaches, coastal drives, Napa, farmers markets, San Francisco, good food, old friends, and most importantly, Sophie's first birthday :) I'll update again soon on how our little punkin' took to the move- no doubt bewildered and curious (as is her default reaction to all new things these days). It's going to be a huge adventure for us all and we can't wait!

Westward Ho!

Little Bo Peep

[click for full effect]

Have you seen my sheep? :)

Getting my food porn mojo back II

A spin on buta no kakuni (Japanese braised pork belly) and Momofuku's roasted pork belly.

Nom, nom, nom... *slurp*

There's always a first time

Sophie watched her first movie today.

Yup, you read right. A movie. Her first. As in sat through the whole thing. And she was quite wonderful through it all. It was like she's been watching movies all her life. She was quiet (except for moments when she squealed back at the screen- more on that later...), well-behaved, and thoroughly engrossed in the film as if she knew what was going on. See for yourself...


To be fair, Sophie might have known what was going on actually. We were at a special screening of Babies, Thomas Balmès new documentary film about the first year in the lives of four babies from Namibia, Tokyo, Mongolia, and San Francisco. Jude and I have been waiting for the movie to open for months, and it finally opened in the Michigan Theater last week. Today's screening was specially for parents and their babies, with stroller parking along the aisles, special low lighting in the theater, and easy access to the changing area.

The film's a fascinating look into parenting and growing up across the world and we loved it. It's a documentary in the truest sense of the word- no dialogue, no script, no voice-over, no agenda. It's real life. Just stunning, evocative images of these amazing little human beings from their first breath to their first step. Watching them was almost like watching Sophie's last 9 months condensed but also re-projected through different lenses- learning communication, becoming aware of their surroundings, reciprocating parental affection, mastery of their physical environment, i.e. growing up. It was both amusing and affecting watching these babies growing up so differently; like a study in anthropology, you can see how varied infancy is for babies in the hyper-developed world (Tokyo and San Francisco) compared to more agrarian and tribal societies: some babies grow up crawling freely everywhere; other babies are tethered to their beds; for some babies, play is mimicking mom grinding sand on stone; for others, it's sitting around with other babies singing songs and dancing. But different doesn't mean better or worse, and that's what was so great about the film- it isn't about whether it's OK to bathe a baby in a metal tub from which a wandering goat comes by to drink or if pushing your baby around in the stroller all day is acceptable; the movie's about being a human being in the world.

And speaking about being a human being, the little human being who was with us was engaged in the movie way more than could be expected of a 9-month old. I mean, there were of course times when she would rather chew on the zipper of my raincoat or make eyes at our friend, Melissa, sitting behind us, but for a large part of the movie, I really think Sophie was actually watching the screen. There were even moments during which the babies in the movie squealed or cried and Sophie would respond by squawking back! Like she was communicating with them (she's been doing a lot of that with us lately...)

We highly recommend the movie to everyone, whether or not you're a parent. Here's the trailer, you'll see why:

When love came to town

We really are so blessed. Despite living so far away from home, in the last year, we've had 3 visits from family already: my parents just after Sophie was born, my sister and brother-in-law last month, and my cousin Terri-- as part of her Eat-Through-the-Eastern-Seaboard quest-- came through Ann Arbor with her friend, Amanda over the weekend. It was so nice to have her here and showing her the places I've only been able to talk to her about- the university (well, the law library specifically), downtown Ann Arbor, Zingerman's...

Speaking of which, I'd like to think that Ann Arbor (well, Southeast Michigan writ large) held it's own in the food department. We have no where here as fancy as Thomas Keller's Per Se in NYC (where the girls have already eaten TWICE at), but Slow's in Detroit, Zingerman's Deli, and Blimpy Burger sure made up in sheer deliciousness and stick-to-the-bone goodness what they lack in haute cuisine-ness... I think the Deli particularly impressed them both, where promptly after her first bite of the #13 (Sherman's Sure Choice), Amanda exclaimed, "This is sooooo good!" And who knew that the key to kick-ass grilled sweet potato? Lemongrass.

All in all, it was just wonderful to have had Terri around over the weekend. We've always been really close (sometimes-- ok, almost always-- I think we share a brain despite being born 9 years apart- we both believe that the New Radicals was a Band That Could Have Been Great, that the smell of new books should be inhaled, and that Tai Wah bak chor mee-- minced pork noodles-- should have its own altar from which to be worshipped.)

Have a wonderful last day in NY, dear cousin, and I hope Peter Luger satisfied!

Why my first Mothers' Day was so special

She's all I need...

(and really good BBQ...)

So long, farewell...

[from left: Alex (hidden), Burack, Sybelle, Sophie, Vienna, Oliver, Owen]

Today was our last mommy group session. And I'm sad. The group has been such a great source of support and I genuinely looked forward to our time together each week. In retrospect, it was a little like therapy actually. Since all the babies in the group are within a month or two of each other, everyone was basically going through similar experiences. And so every time Sophie came up against some developmental milestone-- like starting solids, teething, growth spurts, dropping naps, etc.-- another mom and baby would have gone through that already and would have tons of tips and recommendations to share about how to cope. And I never had to feel bad ranting about how exhausted or exasperated I am since there was always three other blurry, groggy moms nodding at me in solidarity, or a couple others looking on in sympathy because they remembered exactly how they felt when they were through that just a couple of weeks ago. We would talk about everything and anything about our babies in a way that only other moms of babies that age would be able to. I mean, generally, when people ask, "So how's Sophie?", I think the response they're expecting is more along the lines of "She's great!" as opposed to a 15-minute monologue on how Sophie's in effect slowly dropping her third nap and how that's moving her bedtime closer to 7.30 than 8.00, which sort of messes up her night feeding, and consequently wake-time as well... I don't want to bore people like that, but at mommy group, I can literally talk about Sophie all I want because everyone else there is talking about their babies too and learning from each other.

We'll definitely be staying in touch even though our session has officially ended; picnics, play dates, birthdays- we're already planning a few of those now that the weather's getting so much nicer. Although staying indoors isn't always such a bad idea. Like playing with The Parachute, which has been one of our favorite things to do at mommy group. I love how fascinated the babies always are when we start floating it above us- Sophie's always so calm and fixated on it, almost like she's mesmerized. And the parachute's such a popular thing that you can actually be a fan of it on Facebook!

Getting my food porn mojo back

The last time I blogged about cooking-- and I mean grown-up cooking, and not of the dicing, steaming, pureeing, mushing, baby food variety-- was (surprise, surprise) before Sophie was born. Since then, our cooking adventures have been far and few between, and obsessive photos of food, replaced by obsessive photos of Sophie. Lately though, as Sophie begins to learn how to play by herself a little more and is quite happy sitting in her high chair chewing on whatever toy or unfortunate non-essential household item that happens to be within her arm's reach, I'm getting my cooking and food porn mojo back bit by bit. She's also going down to bed earlier and easier which allows us to finally emerge from that early-infant haze where pre-cooked Trader Joe meals and Lucky Kitchen take-out were lifesavers.

And so last week, I attempted to recreate one of my mom's signature dishes- tau yew bak, which is essentially a slow-braised pork belly in soy sauce. We managed to find fresh pork belly at Whole Foods (sold as pork side) and I threw in some aromatics (star anise and a cinnamon stick), dried beancurd (tau pok), Chinese mushrooms, and hard-boiled eggs. I let it simmer for close to 2 hours and the end product was satisfyingly close enough to my mom's version that I might try making it again soon. It was rich, flavorful, and comforting- everything we needed in a one-pot meal, and then some...

And yesterday, for lunch, inspired by the pack of Havarti cheese we had in the fridge, and half a loaf of Parmesan-pepper bread from Zingerman's we had bought the day before, I put together a grown-up grilled cheese sandwich with apple and bacon.


It came out deliriously good- crunchy and toasty from the generous slathering of butter before grilling, melty and gooey from the cheese, smokey from the bacon, all well-complemented by the fresh, crisp tartness of the apple. Next time, I'll experiment with another cheese, a different bread, and maybe pears. Yup, Serene Koh's got her cooking mojo back... :)

Choices

Children love the oddest things- our friend's daughter, Lily, crawled for the first time towards a Netflix envelope; another friend's son, Henry, loves his Daddy's smelly socks. For Sophie, it's our TV remote. And I mean LOVE. With an all-consuming "take it away from her and she'll cry" passion. I have cleaned that thing more times than I have cleaned any of her toys just because she grabs for it so often and puts it straight in her mouth. We've given up trying to keep her away from it.

But we've turned this love affair to our advantage and have used the remote to get Sophie to do more crawling- we'd put it in different places in the living room to lure her to crawl around just so she gets enough crawl-time within the otherwise limited confines of our living room. Sometimes, if we're cruel enough, we can get her to crawl in circles for the remote. That's how much she loves that thing.

Which is why I was so completely tickled-- but not totally surprised-- that when faced with the choice of crawling either to the remote or to two of her favorite puff snacks, our daughter proves irrevocably that she is indeed spawned from our gene pool by giving in to the pull of food. There is a moment where you can see just a flicker of indecision, a split second when you think her resolve might be wavering. But nope, she is her parents' daughter- food always comes first, styrofoam-esque wholegrain organic wheat-lactose-additive-free (a.k.a. tasteless) rice puffs or not...

Up!

I hesitated to post this video because I sound like a hysterical harpy. But then I thought, who cares??!! Our daughter pulled herself up! Like standing! Since she had only started crawling for about a week, I wasn't expecting her to pull herself for a while more. But I guess Sophie's eager to grow up and wasn't about to waste any time. I love the effort she put into the whole thing, sticking her tongue out and approaching the crib bars from different angles before settling on the right corner :)

Before we know it, she's going to be standing up on her own. And then walking. And you know the video for *that* is going to have me squealing off the charts... ;)

Wonder

As I watch Sophie hit all her developmental milestones like crawling, pulling herself up, jabbering syllabus, and understanding and expressing the concept of possession (you just try taking away that mail order catalog she was chewing on... watch her go all Kiri Te Kanawa on you), together with a fierce maternal pride is also a profound sense of wonder and amazement at this thing called Development. How did our teeny, vulnerable 5lb 12oz peanut turn into the fearless crawling machine zipping across our living room? Every time I watch her accomplish something new, I imagine the neurons and synapses in her tiny, powerful brain firing away, with new and wondrous connections being made every minute. She's understanding things like how moving her arms and legs in synchronicity will take her one direction or the other, or that if she drops the TV remote on the floor, it makes a sound, or when she reaches out to pick up a puff with her thumb and index finger, she can then move it into her mouth and taste it. Mobility, cause and effect, feeding ourselves- these are all things we as adults take for granted. But for Sophie, it's a new discovery each time. And each time, another piece of this huge complex and beautiful puzzle called Growing Up snaps into place...

Oh how wonderful :)

And just because no post is complete without a random photo of Sophie, here she is trying to pull herself up on the high chairs in school yesterday :)

Off she goes!

And there we have it. Sophie is crawling.

She can no longer be contained. She is mobile. She will be freaking her parents out 50 times a day trying to get up, on top of, into, and out of every nook and cranny this house has.

There goes our furniture, any sense of order, and our peace of minds...

Our happy baby

Even after three months of putting Sophie in daycare, we still miss her when she's not with us. And picking her up at 5.00 is always such a joy- watching that gummy grin break out across her face when she sees us and her arms flapping away, beckoning us to carry her :) What I love even more is the hour or two we have with her between coming home and putting her to bed. If the weather's nice, we take her for a walk around the neighborhood and spend some time on the swing, or if it's chilly like tonight, we let her loose on the floor at home and just watch her work on her scooting/ crawling/ standing.

I like to think that she misses us too because she's always in such a good mood-- teething or not-- and today, she made us so happy by... well, being happy :)

This is NOT how Sophie looked like over the weekend

Shopping at Whole Foods
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

Sophie's teething. Like for real. Not the false alarm that was 2 months ago when Jude wasn't around. We're talking a runny nose, an epic amount of drooling (which is not helping her eczema), a low-grade fever on Saturday (which she got over in a jiffy), not eating well (imagine, our daughter refusing food... unheard of), general fussiness in the day, and rough nights. Especially last night. In the day, I think we do enough with her to distract her from whatever discomfort she must be feeling, but nights are a whole other story. She falls asleep fitfully and a couple of hours later, she's up crying every half hour.

We gave her a dose of Tylenol before bed, applied some Orajel hoping to soothe her gums, and I basically cuddled her to sleep all night on our bed. Her poor Daddy had to sleep in the study but I think Sophie really needed to be close to one of us last night. A lot of TLC, it would seem, is the most important thing babies need through their whole teething adventure. She finally fell into a deep slumber by midnight and slept fairly well considering the circumstances. Our poor baby- every time she's in any discomfort, my heart always breaks a little. We tried looking to see if the teeth are any where close to showing themselves, but short of two small translucent slits where the teeth are, it looks like it might be a little while more before they break through.

We are bracing ourselves...

I can watch her do this all day...

I love the look of pride and delight when she realizes that she had put the puff in her mouth all my herself :)

Bye

It was sad having to say goodbye to Chicago, but even sadder having to say goodbye to my sis and Piao. As if the city isn't already so special to us, it's now even more special because we got to share it with them- whether it's stuffing our faces silly with signature Chicago foods (Al's Italian Beef, Hot Doug's, & La Pasadita) or just the neighborhoods and architecture that we have come to love so much over the years (see Andersonville and the historical buildings along Michigan Avenue), it was just awesome spending time with people we love in our most favorite city.

Plus the fact that Sophie clearly had a whale of a time throughout the vacation- she was all wide-eyed and curious, just soaking in all the new sights and novel sounds, and oohing and aahing a lot in the process. We're convinced her senses were on overload from just standing in the middle of Michigan Avenue. And to top it off, [deliberate alliteration warning!], Sophie chose going to Chicago to commence crawling! She doesn't quite have all her limbs working in coordination yet but she's definitely got the crawling mojo working. I suspect sometime this week, our daughter's going to be launching herself across the room...

We're all going to miss my sis and Piao- the past 10 days with them has been so precious in the most wonderful way-- real morning breakfasts (as opposed to scarfing cereal while standing over the kitchen sink), seeing Ann Arbor afresh through the eyes of visitors, having lovely photos of Sophie taken, and just solid quality Sophie cuddling/snuggling time-- and it's going to be hard having to wait till December to see them again... :(

Love letter to my Daddy

I love my Daddy very much. He gives me the best snuggles:




He always makes me laugh:




And most importantly, he loves me very, very, very much too.


Daddy, I never want to let go of your hand... Please don't let go of mine.


Love,
Sophie

Living up to her name

1. Snuggling with Yiyi, 2. Daddy love, 3. Sophie loves the swing!, 4. Baby you can drive my car, 5. I want the balloon AND the chocolate bar, 6. Zingerman's happiness, 7. Yiyi snuggles, 8. Playing dress-up at Grow With Me, 9. At the Farmer's Market

I don't think Sophie's ever been this happy, or at least until lately, she's not been able to show us how happy she is. With all the extra attention she's been getting from her Yiyi Erer and Uncle Piao, it's like our little punkin's blossoming right in front of our eyes into even more of an absolute delight- not that she wasn't before, but I think the combination of development, daycare, and having people around her all the time is really turning her into a true social being :) She gives nothing but smiles all day, chuckles and gurgles when she's thrilled, and will engage with any stranger who gives her the time of day. Like my sister observed, it's amazing to see how babies just seem to know instinctively when/ how to smile when they're in a good mood.

I have to admit when Sophie was about 10 weeks old and going through the peak of her newborn fussiness, it felt like she would never grow out of it. We had almost resigned ourselves to the fact that our firstborn was going to be high-strung, demanding fuss-pot. But now, at a cool 35 weeks, Sophie's as easy-going as they come and just a regular ball of sunshine :) Which makes you realize that when it comes to children, you just never know. Change is the only constant and they have more magical surprises up their teeny sleeves than us seemingly all-knowing adults can ever fathom. We can only love them with every fibre of our being and just trust that the profound wisdom that makes them tick will take care of the rest... :)